It's Oscars or whatever

So I woke up at 3:30 in the morning to see the 84th Academy Awards. I had woken up around the same time the previous night thinking I had gotten my time zones wrong and Oscars have started.

My thoughts:
- Ugh the interviewers are stupid. I did like the British female though, despite that interview with Nick Nolte.

- I loved the Mominees part. I started tearing up.

- My best-dressed- Jessica Chastain with her red hair and that awesome black and gold dress and Michelle Williams in a colour which made me think of red roses. I also liked Octavia Spencer (who Nina Garcia called OctAhvia), Kristen Wiig, Sandra Bullock, Gwyneth Paltrow, Angelina Jolie, Rose Byrne and a very appropriate Glenn Close.

- When they showed those guys carrying the Oscar envelopes in the suitcases, I couldn't help but picture someone tackling them and the envelopes flying out in a dramatic fashion. Why don't people tackle them?

- I hate that they keep showing the inside of the theatre. It loses the magic and appeal.

- So the show starts. I don't know if I liked the interior design so much. For whatever reason it made the place look smaller.

- I like Morgan Freeman too much. Nice way to open and that montage was funny. Minus Beiber of course.

- Billy Crystal was not in his top form. I couldn't understand some of the things he said or sang. But he was still much better than the train wreck last time.

- Doesn't Tom Hanks start the awards-giving every year?

- I can't believe Emmanuel Lubezki didn't win for cinematography! I mean, The Tree of Life is one of the most beautiful looking films to have ever been made, and Lubezki is to thank for that. Hugo was good, but certainly not this great.

- So I don't know at what point to start my Harry Potter tirade. Maybe a bit later on. Anyways it didn't win the much deserved Art Direction award.

- That band on the side made me think of the Oscars as an overblown late night talk show. I hated that they kept cutting to it. The direction was really off this year.

- Then there's a random montage of why we love movies or something, which was the running theme of the night. It started with Forrest Gump, then Titanic, and then *cue drum roll* Twilight. Because of course Twilight is a cinematic experience none of us should ever miss! It ended with the orgasm scene in When Harry Met Sally though, which is epic.

- Why do they still call Jennifer Lopez and Cameron Diaz to this? Why? They colour coordinated their ugly gowns and everything.

- Christian Bale comes! I miss him and everything else of last year's award season.

- Jessica Chastain's reaction to her clip was so pretty. Also I am finally coming to terms with Tate Taylor being a bit of a dreamboat.

- Of course OctAhvia Spencer won. The standing ovation was nice though it seemed like one of those times when you are goaded into standing because people are sheep-like. I had enough of those at school.

- One of the best part of the awards was undoubtedly that totally unexpected and properly deserved win by Angus Wall and Kirk Baxter. They were so shocked, and that's how it is still fun. I loved their shout-out to Rooney Mara, who is just so pretty. First back-to-back editing win since the 30s. Also, a little reminder of the awesomeness of The Social Network. Joys :D

- Tina Fey and Bradley Cooper gave like three awards. They wouldn't leave. Oscars could have gotten other presenters.

- The Cirque de Soleil performance was very well done, though incredibly random. I did like that female standing on that guy's head though.

- Robrt Downey Jr. and Emma Stone killed it. They are too awesome! I love Emma Stone's readiness to do the stupid. She looked really happy the whole time. And of course, no one is cooler than RDJesus.

- So visual effects are given to Hugo and with that ends the last chance EVER for Harry Potter to win an Oscar. And then Billy Crystal makes a nice little passing remark on how the series ended this year. Hold on tight folks, this is going to get bumpy.

WHY THE FUCK DO THE OSCARS HATE HARRY POTTER SO MUCH? What did they do to the Oscars? I do not understand. Please explain. They were too successful and fun and not stupid. Is it because they were British, because The King's Speech has to answer a few questions then. They couldn't even get them to present, when the same people were standing there for 2 or 3 different awards. They could have still called Daniel Radcliffe because he was all "Entertainer of the Year" and stuff, and Emma Watson because she was in My Week with Marilyn. Seriously, Twilight gets preference over a decade of simply magical movies. Oscars is probably the only place where Twilight > Harry Potter (even MTV awards are not that disrespectful). And okay fine, don't call them. Don't give them any awards. But then don't mention them either. Because that was really horrible. It's sort of like laughing in your face when you are in incredible pain. THE FACE OF A WHOLE GENERATION. So awful. Why? 

- Christopher Plummer's win was my most favourite, even though that was probably the most obvious. I think Best Supporting Actor category is my favourite in general. His speech will go down in the books. Just that totally classy way with which he started "You're only two years older than me, darling. Where have you been all my life?" It was lovely.

- At one point it looked like Hugo will bag the most awards, but then the award by The Descendants for Adapted Screenplay stopped that. I liked the speech, so I won't say anything. And Angelina Jolie looked like such a superhero goddess there.

- Yaay Woody! I would love to see Woody finally coming to these award ceremonies to get his lifetime achievement awards, but it probably goes against his idea of being immortal. Whatever. I love Woody.

- The bridesmaids were fun. I need to get started on that drinking game. It's funny because Scorsese is one of the main people behind Boardwalk Empire which shuns drinking. His reaction was hilarious. Also he looked adorable in his tux.

- Big question- what was with the popcorn? Were people having popcorn throughout? Won't some of the actresses burst out of their dresses after consuming a single unit?

- Man, Hazanavicius's name-butchering will finally end. I guess his Best Director win was quite deserved.

- I love Honorary Oscars- never-ending tears. They should focus more on them though. Dick Smith and Oprah Winfrey were in tears, and James Earl Jones himself had an epic speech, or whatever little they showed of it. Then the random band played an obnoxiously happy music for them.

- The memorium was lovely and poignant. I find it creepy how so many people pass away like just few months before the Oscars (as IMDb kept informing me on my Facebook page so regularly). The ending with Elizabeth Taylor was perfect. Also the intro by Billy Crystal was probably his shining moment of the night for me. He seemed really on edge throughout.

- Oh the little tributes throughout by the actors was really nice. I love Gabourey Sidibe. Also Edward Norton should really win an Oscar already. He looks too much like an Oscar-winner to me.

- I liked that they played Black Swan's music for Natalie Portman. I loved it when she addressed Gary Oldman and a little part of me was still rooting for him (the same little part that went on screaming LEON REUNION!). Still all said and done, Jean Dujardin was a great choice. He spreads so much joy around. He should have had an act with the muppets. Also, make him star in the next muppets movie please.

- A.R. Rahman was there, with the annoying band. Indiansssss.

- Colin Firth is still so dashing. I loved the fact that they played my favourite clip of Rooney Mara's for her nomination. His intro to Meryl Streep was beyond ahmazing. They really must make another film together (especially after the Cinderella moment at the BAFTAs).

- MERYL STREEP!! WOO HOO! So what if The Iron Lady sucks and I will never watch it?! That woman is one of the greatest actors ever. It's been like 29 years since her last win, and if you look at her IMDb page, it has like a million nominations. She was relieved, and like she said, she'll never win again in all probability. Still she makes everything worthwhile and no one can truly hate her.

- Tom Cruise gave Best Film. Really, Oscars, really? The montage was nice. Kudos for the little Benedict Cumberbatch part. Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close totally won.

- Kidding. So many of these nominees got nothing. TTSS, Bridesmaids, The Tree of Life (robbed), Albert Nobbs, ELIC, War Horse (thank the lord) and Harry Potter (no comments). Hugo and The Artist got 5 each and the only other multiple winner was The Iron Lady. Like duh.

- Still as much as I crib now, I will be finding myself sleep-deprived again next year. Let's hope The Hobbit, Django Unchained and The Dark Knight Rises win big. Let's hope the Oscars grow a brain and a heart in some departments. Let's hope people will look back after a hundred years or so and still wonder, like me, about the Oscars' hatred for Harry Potter. Let's hope Hugh Jackman returns soon.

Bye now.