It's Oscars or whatever

So I woke up at 3:30 in the morning to see the 84th Academy Awards. I had woken up around the same time the previous night thinking I had gotten my time zones wrong and Oscars have started.

My thoughts:
- Ugh the interviewers are stupid. I did like the British female though, despite that interview with Nick Nolte.

- I loved the Mominees part. I started tearing up.

- My best-dressed- Jessica Chastain with her red hair and that awesome black and gold dress and Michelle Williams in a colour which made me think of red roses. I also liked Octavia Spencer (who Nina Garcia called OctAhvia), Kristen Wiig, Sandra Bullock, Gwyneth Paltrow, Angelina Jolie, Rose Byrne and a very appropriate Glenn Close.

- When they showed those guys carrying the Oscar envelopes in the suitcases, I couldn't help but picture someone tackling them and the envelopes flying out in a dramatic fashion. Why don't people tackle them?

- I hate that they keep showing the inside of the theatre. It loses the magic and appeal.

- So the show starts. I don't know if I liked the interior design so much. For whatever reason it made the place look smaller.

- I like Morgan Freeman too much. Nice way to open and that montage was funny. Minus Beiber of course.

- Billy Crystal was not in his top form. I couldn't understand some of the things he said or sang. But he was still much better than the train wreck last time.

- Doesn't Tom Hanks start the awards-giving every year?

- I can't believe Emmanuel Lubezki didn't win for cinematography! I mean, The Tree of Life is one of the most beautiful looking films to have ever been made, and Lubezki is to thank for that. Hugo was good, but certainly not this great.

- So I don't know at what point to start my Harry Potter tirade. Maybe a bit later on. Anyways it didn't win the much deserved Art Direction award.

- That band on the side made me think of the Oscars as an overblown late night talk show. I hated that they kept cutting to it. The direction was really off this year.

- Then there's a random montage of why we love movies or something, which was the running theme of the night. It started with Forrest Gump, then Titanic, and then *cue drum roll* Twilight. Because of course Twilight is a cinematic experience none of us should ever miss! It ended with the orgasm scene in When Harry Met Sally though, which is epic.

- Why do they still call Jennifer Lopez and Cameron Diaz to this? Why? They colour coordinated their ugly gowns and everything.

- Christian Bale comes! I miss him and everything else of last year's award season.

- Jessica Chastain's reaction to her clip was so pretty. Also I am finally coming to terms with Tate Taylor being a bit of a dreamboat.

- Of course OctAhvia Spencer won. The standing ovation was nice though it seemed like one of those times when you are goaded into standing because people are sheep-like. I had enough of those at school.

- One of the best part of the awards was undoubtedly that totally unexpected and properly deserved win by Angus Wall and Kirk Baxter. They were so shocked, and that's how it is still fun. I loved their shout-out to Rooney Mara, who is just so pretty. First back-to-back editing win since the 30s. Also, a little reminder of the awesomeness of The Social Network. Joys :D

- Tina Fey and Bradley Cooper gave like three awards. They wouldn't leave. Oscars could have gotten other presenters.

- The Cirque de Soleil performance was very well done, though incredibly random. I did like that female standing on that guy's head though.

- Robrt Downey Jr. and Emma Stone killed it. They are too awesome! I love Emma Stone's readiness to do the stupid. She looked really happy the whole time. And of course, no one is cooler than RDJesus.

- So visual effects are given to Hugo and with that ends the last chance EVER for Harry Potter to win an Oscar. And then Billy Crystal makes a nice little passing remark on how the series ended this year. Hold on tight folks, this is going to get bumpy.

WHY THE FUCK DO THE OSCARS HATE HARRY POTTER SO MUCH? What did they do to the Oscars? I do not understand. Please explain. They were too successful and fun and not stupid. Is it because they were British, because The King's Speech has to answer a few questions then. They couldn't even get them to present, when the same people were standing there for 2 or 3 different awards. They could have still called Daniel Radcliffe because he was all "Entertainer of the Year" and stuff, and Emma Watson because she was in My Week with Marilyn. Seriously, Twilight gets preference over a decade of simply magical movies. Oscars is probably the only place where Twilight > Harry Potter (even MTV awards are not that disrespectful). And okay fine, don't call them. Don't give them any awards. But then don't mention them either. Because that was really horrible. It's sort of like laughing in your face when you are in incredible pain. THE FACE OF A WHOLE GENERATION. So awful. Why? 

- Christopher Plummer's win was my most favourite, even though that was probably the most obvious. I think Best Supporting Actor category is my favourite in general. His speech will go down in the books. Just that totally classy way with which he started "You're only two years older than me, darling. Where have you been all my life?" It was lovely.

- At one point it looked like Hugo will bag the most awards, but then the award by The Descendants for Adapted Screenplay stopped that. I liked the speech, so I won't say anything. And Angelina Jolie looked like such a superhero goddess there.

- Yaay Woody! I would love to see Woody finally coming to these award ceremonies to get his lifetime achievement awards, but it probably goes against his idea of being immortal. Whatever. I love Woody.

- The bridesmaids were fun. I need to get started on that drinking game. It's funny because Scorsese is one of the main people behind Boardwalk Empire which shuns drinking. His reaction was hilarious. Also he looked adorable in his tux.

- Big question- what was with the popcorn? Were people having popcorn throughout? Won't some of the actresses burst out of their dresses after consuming a single unit?

- Man, Hazanavicius's name-butchering will finally end. I guess his Best Director win was quite deserved.

- I love Honorary Oscars- never-ending tears. They should focus more on them though. Dick Smith and Oprah Winfrey were in tears, and James Earl Jones himself had an epic speech, or whatever little they showed of it. Then the random band played an obnoxiously happy music for them.

- The memorium was lovely and poignant. I find it creepy how so many people pass away like just few months before the Oscars (as IMDb kept informing me on my Facebook page so regularly). The ending with Elizabeth Taylor was perfect. Also the intro by Billy Crystal was probably his shining moment of the night for me. He seemed really on edge throughout.

- Oh the little tributes throughout by the actors was really nice. I love Gabourey Sidibe. Also Edward Norton should really win an Oscar already. He looks too much like an Oscar-winner to me.

- I liked that they played Black Swan's music for Natalie Portman. I loved it when she addressed Gary Oldman and a little part of me was still rooting for him (the same little part that went on screaming LEON REUNION!). Still all said and done, Jean Dujardin was a great choice. He spreads so much joy around. He should have had an act with the muppets. Also, make him star in the next muppets movie please.

- A.R. Rahman was there, with the annoying band. Indiansssss.

- Colin Firth is still so dashing. I loved the fact that they played my favourite clip of Rooney Mara's for her nomination. His intro to Meryl Streep was beyond ahmazing. They really must make another film together (especially after the Cinderella moment at the BAFTAs).

- MERYL STREEP!! WOO HOO! So what if The Iron Lady sucks and I will never watch it?! That woman is one of the greatest actors ever. It's been like 29 years since her last win, and if you look at her IMDb page, it has like a million nominations. She was relieved, and like she said, she'll never win again in all probability. Still she makes everything worthwhile and no one can truly hate her.

- Tom Cruise gave Best Film. Really, Oscars, really? The montage was nice. Kudos for the little Benedict Cumberbatch part. Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close totally won.

- Kidding. So many of these nominees got nothing. TTSS, Bridesmaids, The Tree of Life (robbed), Albert Nobbs, ELIC, War Horse (thank the lord) and Harry Potter (no comments). Hugo and The Artist got 5 each and the only other multiple winner was The Iron Lady. Like duh.

- Still as much as I crib now, I will be finding myself sleep-deprived again next year. Let's hope The Hobbit, Django Unchained and The Dark Knight Rises win big. Let's hope the Oscars grow a brain and a heart in some departments. Let's hope people will look back after a hundred years or so and still wonder, like me, about the Oscars' hatred for Harry Potter. Let's hope Hugh Jackman returns soon.

Bye now.

IT'S HERE! IT'S HERE!!

The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo has a proper trailer now. And Oh My Dumbledore it is amazing!! Other things about it-


1) I LOVE LOVE LOVE Rooney Mara as Lisbeth. Her hair keeps changing though...
2) Daniel Craig looks faaiiinnee with that stubble.
3) There is a somewhat thick Swedish accent among the people. It was difficult to understand at first, but then it was fine.
4) The music. The bloody awesome music!! Reznor-Ross, I salute you.
5) I know this will be better than the Swedish version.
6) Christopher Plummer still has those Captain Von Trapp blueee eyes.
7) I'm excited to see what Stellan Skarsgård will do with the character of Martin.
8) I liked Erica in the books, and Robin Wright Penn is lovely.
9) I don't know why only one of those Biblical lines were said though, but who cares?!
10) David Fincher is a wonderful, wonderful man.

I think I am going to cry with excitement. Guess what just became the number one candidate of "The Social Network" film of this year?

My Eternal Struggle With The Sound of Music

        The Sound of Music is one musical that everyone, who speaks any remote form of English, has seen. I can personally vouch that it's the most famous English musical as far as Indian people go. This is because the songs are lovely, and (I think) the whole nun-meets-seven-children-and-father-and-sings-songs-and-falls-in-love-with-father-and-then-becomes-the-children's-mother-thing is something that Indian audiences will eat up.
       I am one of the very few people I know that didn't think the world of The Sound of Music. I had only seen it a couple of times as a kid, and it didn't really enamour me the way it did everyone else. This feeling of discontent only grew as I grew older. A couple of days back, I had a stupid argument with one of my friends because she kept on calling Maria a chimney-sweep and yeah...poor confused girl. Oddly enough, this whetted my curiosity about whether I still find the film silly or not. And so I watched it after many many years last night.


Things I liked about The Sound of Music:

1) The introduction to Maria- I think this has to be one of the loveliest introductions to a character ever. The film opens with images of the scenic Austrian town Salzburg, and then it brings us to this place- the greenest mountain top with the sapphire sky above it and this woman twirling with her arms wide open and taking in all its glory before breaking out into the song "The Sound Of Music". And the oddest thing is, I can actually imagine that the hills have sung this song for a thousand years. A place this magical...anything can happen.

2) The nuns- Screw the children; how cute were the nuns? Maybe it's because of my religious convictions, but whenever a person of God does something totally uncharacteristic...I love it! Whether it was them singing or bitching about Maria behind her back (in song and prayer of course), or kicking out the kids from the abbey, or just the ending when the super-bitchy nun and the nice one say that they have sinned- it just gives me too much joy. Peggy Wood, who played the Reverend Mother, was actually nominated for an Oscar for her role.

3) The songs- I think we've all grown up listening to these songs. My mother actually used to sing "My Favourite Things" to me to make me feel better as a kid. I liked all the songs, but ofcourse some of them can be a bit annoying to listen to constantly. Now one song that I didn't remember at all, and has sort of become my favourite since yesterday was "Edelweiss". And one of my friends had long ago used "How Do You Solve A Problem Like Maria" to describe me, and after yesterday that makes me very happy :)

4) Julie Andrews and her voice- I love Julie Andrews! So very much!! She is so sweet and funny and kind, and noone could have played Maria but her. One of my favourite parts is when the super awesome and bitchy nuns are singing "Maria" and she comes running in and then sees them and shrugs at her obvious and predictable clumsiness. But nothing compares to when she starts singing. Julie Andrews's singing voice is what I expect to hear when I enter the gates of Heaven (IF I got to Heaven, that is). I can't help but smile, and really smile big, whenever she sings. Her voice is one of the most beautiful things that can ever be.

5) The unbelievably sexy Christopher Plummer as Capt. Von Trapp- Good God! How did I not notice this? Christopher Plummer is still a very fine-looking old, old, old man, but he was so glorious in his youth. I am partial to men in uniform because well, they just look sexier, and I think Capt. Von Trapp may just become my favourite ever. The discipline, the hint of humour, the singing, that divine smile, and his pairing with Andrews...dazzling.

6) This shot- This film had beautiful quaint locations, and there was an incredible amount of wideshots, for example when Maria and the Captain dance the Laendler. But this one shot was just breath-taking. I love silhouettes, and as clichéd as it looks- the shadow and the kiss on the forehead, I think it's enchanting.

Things I didn't like so much about The Sound of Music:

1) The ending- It was so stupid. They just walked about the mountains and became mountain-folk or what? And even if they went to Switzerland, what the fuck happened there? Did the Captain finally sell out and made money from his children? The film is inspired by the real Von Trapp family, but the stories are still very different. One of the reasons I disliked the film as a kid was because of the dumb ending. I mean, how is it a happy ending? How can one be sure that the Nazis didn't get them still? With such a happy film, the ending should have been a clear cut one- not a vague one like this. It almost pisses me off as much as Gone With The Wind's ending (don't even get me started on that one).

2) The scene after the intermission- I don't understand why it annoyed me so much, but once the film resumes we see all of Salzburg again. We already saw it when the film started, with the scores of all the songs playing in the background, and then they do it all again after intermission. Why would one waste time like that? There are better ways of showing time lapse, I'm pretty sure.

3) The fact that EVERYONE can sing- Okay by rule of thumb, everyone in musicals can sing. But all of Austria could sing in this. And not in a happy way...but in that annoying harmonious high-pitched way. Maybe I'm just jealous, but seriously how can EVERYONE be so musically gifted...it don't make no sense to me, I'm sorry.

4) The fact that Liesel is the world's weirdest teenager- Okay kids in films like this are generally annoying, but how on earth can a teenager be this sweet? No teenager likes to play with their SIX siblings all the time. And sing songs with them. She's a little bad-ass with the whole Rolfe thing, but still they spend their time singing and choreographing. Even Friedrich was super-fake.

5) Maria and the Captain suddenly falling in love- I do not understand how people just fall head-over-heels in love with each other overnight. Love at first sight is something else, but out of the blue both the leads realise that they are made for each other-that is shit! Especially when the Captain keeps chatting up the ravishing Baroness and Maria looks happy for them. I didn't personally think anything till the Captain sang "Edelweiss" and the super-alert Baroness gives that look. And boom- they're in love! It's ridiculous.

6) Rolfe- What a fool! The whole Brown Shirt thing has never gelled with me. Liesel was stunning, albeit unrealistic...screw Hitler! I just think he was an unnecessary added layer, to make the film look serious, when it obviously wasn't.

        On the whole, I think I have now warmed up to this sweet and sappy classic. I suddenly really love the songs, and man...Christopher Plummer *heart*. And Julie Andrews is just so contagious in it, how can one not fall in love with her? I think upto the wedding, the film is fine. If they had focused more on the courtship between Maria and the Captain, and not so much on the Nazi-issues, it would've been much better. And I guess the extraordinary number of shots of the scenery was to show what a pretty place Austria was before the war, but it's still a tad bit too much. And ugh, EVERYONE singing. But still nice.

        I'm sure everyone's seen it, but give it a go again if you were like me all this while.

Auf Wiedersehen for now.