Wednesday, 27 January 2010


How happy is the blameless vestal's lot!
The world forgetting, by the world forgot.
Eternal sunshine of the spotless mind!
Each pray'r accepted, and each wish resign'd;
Labour and rest, that equal periods keep;
"Obedient slumbers that can wake and weep;"
Desires compos'd, affections ever ev'n,
Tears that delight, and sighs that waft to Heav'n.
Grace shines around her with serenest beams,
And whisp'ring angels prompt her golden dreams.
For her th' unfading rose of Eden blooms,
And wings of seraphs shed divine perfumes,
For her the Spouse prepares the bridal ring,
For her white virgins hymeneals sing,
To sounds of heav'nly harps she dies away,
And melts in visions of eternal day.

A few days ago, I was watching one of my most favourite romance movies- Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. Then that part of the movie came which explains the title; Kirsten Dunst’s character is talking to John Wilkinson’s character and trying to impress him with her knowledge. She says the first for lines of the stanza given above.

These lines moved me and I Googled for the poem from where they were taken. It is called Eloisa to Abelard by Alexander Pope. It is a beautiful poem about true love found and lost. Many stanzas moved me; some even brought tears to my eyes.

I just felt like sharing it with those who don’t know the poem.

Saturday, 23 January 2010


These are some of the pages from the diary of an Eleanor Rigby-

‘For the past twenty-two years, my job has been to clean up after wedding ceremonies have taken place in the little church. Today is no different. There’s been some wedding at the church and one of the bride’s maid’s kids knocked over the rice. I’m cleaning that up. After that is done, I am just going to stand at the window in my little room in the church. That is what I do every day. Everyday since he left me here.
He was an American soldier. He came to Scotland during the Second World War. My father was one of the richest, happiest and most generous men there. Same went for my family. I was the youngest amongst the six daughters. My father wanted to help out with the soldiers of the war and so volunteered to keep some in our house. Of all the ones that came, he was the most silent, my Jack. Everyone else was rowdy and loud. Jack only spoke to my father and me. He and my father discussed the war and other worldly matters, but to me, he spoke about all the beautiful places he had been. He promised me to take me there someday. This is why one day, we both left together, without telling anyone. We walked and talked and walked some more. When we reached Liverpool, almost all our money was over. He told me that he knew a friend there and he will go and get some money from him, so we can go to America. He told me to wait in the little church. I went in and a young priest named McKenzie let me sit in this little room while Jack would return.
And he never did.
I once wrote a letter to my father telling him about Jack, and the church, and Father McKenzie, and how I look out of the window everyday and maybe he could come one day and meet me there. He never came either.’

‘It has been a few days since that wedding. I haven’t been feeling well today. I think I will sleep for a while. Then I will wake up and look out of the window again. I think someone will come. I know they will recognize me by the expression I have kept all these years while looking out of the window. Father McKenzie says it is always the same, like I store it in a jar and keep it by the door. He is a good man. He writes the words to sermons every night and darns his own socks. Poor man is also lonely. So is everyone else. Not me. Jack will come. It’s not like I will die alone…’

We all know what happens after this. Eleanor Rigby died in the church and was buried along with her name. Nobody came. Father McKenzie wiped off the dirt from his hands as he walked from the grave. No one was saved. And all we can say is- Ah, look at all the lonely people.

This was a school magazine entry from me, but they chose an article on recession over it. Joy

Wednesday, 13 January 2010


       Cecilia went to the Cinema ever so often, with the popcorn in her hands and a glow in her eyes as she saw perfection played out onscreen. Oh how beautiful it was to see glamour and beauty and heroes and Jazz and happy endings.

Real life was quite the opposite. In the real world, she was an unhappy, nervous waitress with an unemployed, abusive husband during the Great Depression who lived in New Jersey. The Movies for Cecilia provided the only escape from her sad excuse of a life. She would keep trying to leave her pathetic, unappreciative, alcoholic, gambling, beating bum that was her husband, Monk, but he was always right when he said she’d come back.

However, one day, this new movie called The Purple Rose of Cairo came to town. She went the first night alone and again the second night with her fellow-waitress sister. She felt more than lost in the movie with the dashing Gil Sheperd playing Tom Baxter- of the Chicago Baxters, explorer, and adventurer. The third day unfortunately, when she was all sad about not being able to leave her husband again and extra nervous in the restaurant, she dropped her third plate and got fired. As real world became way too horrible and well, real for her she went to her usual Utopia- the Cinema to watch The Purple Rose of Cairo again, and again, and again. Except the fifth time something very unusual happened.

Tom Baxter looked at her and spoke to her right through the screen. She and the rest of the audience were shocked! As were the other characters in the movie. And then the most amazing thing happened when he walked right through the screen...into the real world for our Cecilia.

Tom and Cecilia ran to a closed-down amusement park where Tom declared his love for her. Cecilia couldn’t believe how perfect he was! They went dancing later that night after Cecilia made an excuse to Monk to get out. He gave her the most perfect kiss in the world.

But the real world and the reel world shouldn’t meet. While Cecilia and Tom were frisking in the pros of such a rendezvous, the other characters, the cinema owner, the producer and Gil Sheperd were facing a lot of problem. They all came to New Jersey, that is the real people, to find a solution. It is then that Cecilia meets Gil the next morning.

She was totally spellbound. He was her favourite actor and she couldn’t believe her luck. Gil is very flattered by her and begs her to take him to Tom. Cecilia reluctantly agrees and then when both men meet, they start fighting as Tom declares that he wants to be a free man in the real world and live with his love Cecilia and Gil tells him that he is fictional and cannot do so because, “You can’t learn to be real, it’s like learning to be a midget. It’s not a thing you can learn.” But Tom still doesn’t want to leave. So he and Cecilia go walking around the town. Tom learns about child-birth and God and how God was like the writers Irvine Sachs and R.H. Levine. At the Church Monk confronts them and Tom and he get into a fight in which Tom loses only because the ‘real’ Monk plays unfair. Cecilia stands up to Monk and saves Tom, who doesn’t have a scratch or a single hair out of place, as those are the advantages of being imaginary.

When Cecilia gets back home, she sees Gil over there. They talk even more and she woos him completely, unintentionally of course. They go by a music store where he buys her a ukulele and sings to her music. Then they recite out lines from his musical after which he kisses her but she leaves him because according to her, “I met a wonderful new man. He’s fictional but you can’t have everything.”

When she returns to Tom, he takes her back to the Cinema where they both enter the screen and go to the Copacabana and introduce the concept of ‘free world’. Then they hit New York as they go to all the clubs and all the shows and dance the night away, completely in black and white and love. But then Gil comes to the Cinema and asks Cecilia to come with him to Hollywood. Tom tries to stop her and tell her how he is honest, dependable, courageous, and romantic and a great kisser but Gil wins the argument by saying that he is real. Cecilia chooses the real guy over the fictional one as she explains to Tom how “in his world, things have a way of always working out.” Tom feels crushed, goes back into the screen, and watches on as Cecilia leaves with Gil.

She rushes home and packs up her bag to leave as Monk tries to stop her but then screams out that she’ll be back as she leaves. And as she reaches the Cinema where Gil had promised to meet her, she finds out he left with everyone else as soon as Tom went back into the screen. She walks into the Cinema to watch the next movie, Top Hat with Fred Astaire and Gigi Rogers singing “Dancing Cheek to Cheek” as she forgets her blues and the real world and how she too danced cheek to cheek with Tom, and gets mesmerised by the Movies all-over again.

The Purple Rose of Cairo is made by the brilliant Woody Allen, who is rapidly becoming my favourite filmmaker. The gorgeous Mia Farrow plays the woeful and lovely Cecilia and Jeff Daniels plays the perfect Tom (though fictional) and the heartbreaking actor Gil.

This movie was so very special. It reminded me of all those films during the course of which we want to live and die. Marie Antoinette for example- the complete beauty and atmosphere and setting and music and clothes and food was so mesmerising that one cannot hope enough for life to be like that. Even Twilight, when I saw it first and knew nothing of it and what it will turn into, was so unrealistic and desirable with the unnatural blueness, and the romance and everything. Obviously now I find it revolting but it was almost magical in the beginning. Also Nick and Norah’s Infinite Playlist- the incredibly pretty Kat Dennings and oh so cute Michael Cera and the entire brilliance of the one night was what makes one want to live for.

However, the sad and real ending of The Purple Rose of Cairo was more heart wrenching than most of the films I have ever seen. I loathed and loved it at the same time as it shows the unrealistic feel of the real world and the perfect life-like appeal of the reel world. When it was over all I could think of was this sort-of speech of Andy Warhol’s after he had been shot and truly understood what he meant.

Before I was shot, I always thought that I was more half-there than all-there. I always suspected that I was watching television instead of real life. People sometimes say that the way things happen in movies is unreal, but actually it’s the way things happen in life that’s unreal. The movies make emotions look so strong and real, whereas when things really do happen to you, it’s like watching television-you don’t feel anything. Right when I was being shot and ever since, I knew I was watching television. The channels switch but it’s all television.
- Andy Warhol

Monday, 11 January 2010


Confession time.
I had actually never ever watched a single Marilyn Monroe movie when I made this blog.

I had seen that bit in Seven Year Itch when she says, “ Hey, did you ever try dunking a potato chip in champagne? It's real crazy! ” And of course I knew her entire “Diamonds are a Girl’s Best Friend” by rote. But never had I actually watched a whole film of her’s.

I find her extremely fascinating. All her reported quotes are brilliant, her looks are legendary, her white-flying dress is the sexiest outfit EVER, and her death a perpetual mystery. Marilyn Monroe, in my eyes had done the only thing all humans in this world should ever try to do- become unforgettable. Only when we are unforgettable should we die, because then we live on forever. I do fear death, despite my suicidal claims, but more than that I fear being forgettable. I mean there is nothing worse than fading into oblivion. True almost all have those few people around us who won’t forget us until they die but then what?

 No one ever will be ever to forget Marilyn Monroe and I salute her for that. Another confession, I also respect Jack the Ripper on similar grounds.

Anyways, a few days ago I watched Some Like It Hot. Oh good Lord, she is just fabulous!

She was a full figured woman, the kind Tyra Banks would call “FIIEEERRRCCCCEEEEE!!!!” Her face is completely angelic…as is her voice when she sings the sweet and seductive “I Wanna Be Loved By You” and the too sexy-yet-heart-wrenching “I’m Through With Love”.

She was such a perfect woman… so full of flaws but still so desirable. Her character Sugar Kane is hilarious, sweet, and sexy. She can’t seem to get out of trouble with saxophone players as she finds them oh so irresistible. Well actually, she can’t ever get out of trouble because she is always the one who gets caught…

I loved the movie…it was hilarious! Tony Curtis was my more favourite man-woman-man person and obviously, Sugar was brilliant.

Friday, 8 January 2010


Is it me or the world completely sucks.
Albert Einstein proved he was a genius when he said, ‘A question sometimes drives me hazy: am I or the others crazy.

But truthfully, no offence to Albert, we all are completely bonkers. I am bloody seventeen. I am young, smart, energetic...well not so much, but still; I have my entire life ahead of me…The world is my oyster it seems. Well I have something to say about this oyster- IT IS EFFING ROTTEN. My future doesn’t seem bright as I cannot see myself being anything apart from the pitiful me.

Alvey Singer, the character made famous by Woody Allen in Annie Hall once said to the divine Annie, “The world is divided into two types of people- the horrible and the miserable. The horrible are the blind etc, to whom dreadful things have happened. Everyone else, like me and you, we are miserable. So you must always be thankful that you are a miserable person and not horrible.” This isn’t a direct quote but is almost the same. But my point is the horrible-miserable thing. When my mother or some old aunty-relative of mine in India sits and tells me about how I should be thankful for life as people are much worse-off…this doesn’t mean I am not miserable.

I recently watched Angus, Thongs and Perfect Snogging. It’s cute and a complete chick-flick, which is the genre which always leaves me feeling all happy and mushy inside. But not this time. After watching Angus, I felt depressed and suicidal.

Why, one might ask? I’ll give Five Reasons:

(This is comparing Georgia Nicholson’s, the protagonist and my life)

1)       Georgia’s parents were from the Stone Age- My parents are from the Indian Islamic Stone Age- which by the way is soooo primitive that the normal Stone Age is Minority Report-cool in comparison.
2)     Georgia’s parents did not let her have a life as theirs was over- My parents have never ever ever ever, since the Indian Islamic Stone Age, had a life and they intend and make sure I continue the family tradition.
3)     Georgia’s sister was crazy- My brother has redefined crazy. He is an advanced stage of crazy. Jack Nicholson should study crazy from my brother.
4)     Georgia’s nose is the size of Jupiter- Well, I’ll say likewise for once.
5)     Georgia said she will never get a boyfriend but gets a sex-god bassist boy-friend in the end who holds her hand and walks with her to school- Forget the boyfriend part, my school is too far away for me to walk with anyone. And the sex-god part is a laugh!

It was a good movie though. Gurinder Chadda has such a thing for gora, blue-eyed sex-gods. Also the music was adorable.

Not the point though. I mean Georgia is a 14 year-old and the way she spoke about her life made me think of myself as a pathetic, filthy, old hag. My whole point is that my life sucks. I will almost commit suicide except that I have not had a life to end. What I do, and well I guess most of us do is survive- not live. It’s terrible. Endangered animals survive. Not humans.

Life is a beautiful thing. Poets, painters, singers- they have all paid tribute to life. It is only through their works that I, we survive. I mean imagine it’s the future and aliens come to our planet to experience ‘life’ by what they have heard about our ‘way of living’ through all these pieces of art. They’ll come and truly ‘live our way’ and then realise that they have been SCREWED!

Well, they will at least have the option to go back. We keep hoping but nothing ever happens. I guess it is the continuous crushing of all our hopes and dreams that makes life a Survivor competition. “Dream on till your dreams come true.” I try, but it’s hard.