"The one and only, Adele Dazeem!" - Random thoughts on Oscars

 
           We all know who won and who lost and who ate the pizza. Therefore, doing a proper recap is pointless. However, I have some Oscar-related thoughts and I'd like to share them. Simply put, here's what I liked and didn't like about the Oscars:

Liked/Loved-

1) Lupita's princess dress was just gorgeous. It makes me want to wear a big flowy gown myself and just twirl around.
2) Among other fashion-related stuff, I liked Kristin Chenoweth's and Karen O's outfits, Emma Watson's hairdo and Naomi Watts' necklace.
3) Coming to speeches, there were a few that stood out. Lupita's was the most heartfelt and inspirational. "It doesn't escape me for one moment that so much joy in my life is thanks to so much pain in someone else's"- this was an incredibly powerful and perceptive sentence and I have been thinking about it ever since. All these biopics we watch, most of them are based around someone's struggle and Patsey definitely had one of the hardest lives ever. We see numerous actors thank and pay tribute to the people they play or their hardships but I don't think anyone has put it the way Lupita did. Also, the way she ended it-

4)The other speeches I liked were Cate Blanchett's "The world is round, people!" and "Hashtag: Suck it" badass woman power declaration, Darlene Love's acceptance ballad, the "Let It Go" duo with their perfectly rhimy speech, the short documentary winners' heartfelt tribute to the woman who was their subject, and all winners whose hands shook while they were on the stage.
5) Lupita, Meryl and Amy dancing with Pharrell. Goddesses.

6) That selfie.

7) And all its subsequent parodies.

8) Lupita Nyong'o's brother who is my new role model.
9) The other selfie where Benedict Cumberbatch just popped up from the back.

10) Cumberbatch photobombing U2. Not once, but twice. #winneratOscars

11) Cumberbatch crying during Lupita's speech.
12) Lupita photobombing Jared Leto.
13) Lupita and JLaw fake-fighting.

14) The fact that JLaw looked happier than Lupita when Lupita won. Bullet dodged.
15) Brad Pitt handing out plates.

16) ALL the pizza photos.
17) Kevin Spacey presenting.
18) Bill Murray standing up after Darlene Love sang.
19) The "Moon Song" performance and the fact that Ezra Koenig's socks matched Karen O's dress.

20) "Possibility number 1: 12 Years A Slave wins Best Picture. Possibility number 2: You're all racists. And now welcome our first white presenter, Anne Hathaway!" #burn
21) Steve McQueen jumping in the air after they won Best Picture. I love this so much. As much as people hate on the Oscars, and they are definitely not decisive word on what is best or not, even someone as unconventional as McQueen was overjoyed at his film getting the award because it is a recognition of efforts and that's always a good and happy thing.

22) The fact that 2 of the Fight Club cast members now have Oscars.
23) Alfonso Cuaron and Emmanuel Lubezki- Oscar winners. FUCK YEAH!
24) Actually, just the fact that Gravity won Best Editing. That movie is so clever with its cuts. I am super impressed with the Academy for this.
25) Daniel Day-Lewis. Such a puppy.

Sidenote: Meryl Streep gave DDL his Oscar last year. Imagine if she had won this year. Actually, imagine if they keep winning alternate years, giving each other Oscars for all eternity because true artists never die and time is a flat circle and ZOMG!

26) Lupita Nyong'o's lip balm.
27) I will talk about the montages later but just the fact that the last "heroes" montage included Indiana Jones, Beasts of the Southern Wild, Speed, The Princess Bride, Independence Day (speech and all), Harry Potter (more on that later too), Aliens, Back to the Future and Air Force One.
28) Spike Jonze winning Best Original Screenplay.

29) And Spike Jonze.

30) SPIKE JONZE!!!!!!!!

31) I love you, Spike Jonze. Please marry me.
32) The fact that I later dreamt that Joaquin Phoenix was hosting the Oscars. I don't remember more than that. Sorry.
33) Leo lost and that sucks but seriously though, WoWS is such a IDGAF movie that I can't feel that bad. But all the "Poor Leo" memes have been hilarious. This one's my fav-

34) Matthew McConaughey was very sweet when he presented with Kim Novak. She was definitely having some problems and he was very gracious.
35) Ditto for Angelina Jolie.
36) Ellen making all of the JLaw falling jokes, so that we didn't have to. Chill humans. We've all done stupid things when drunk (more on this later too though).
37) Ellen in Glinda's costume.

38) Ellen in general.
39) Nicholas Hoult. Dawwwwwwww.

40) Not playing most of the winners off.
41) That American Hustle didn't win anything. MUAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!

42) I laughed like hell in the Bradley Cooper nomination clip though. Best in show.
43) And my absolute favourite thing that happened at the Oscars- the coming together of Joseph Gordon-Levitt and Emma Watson. Such a perfect unison of good looks, charm and talent. Of course, I want them to get married now, but for the time being I will be totally happy with both of them starring in a romcom together. Preferably something set in the 1st half of the 20th century and screwball-y. You can see it, right? It can be all witty and stuff. DanRad can be there too. Remember when he and JGL danced at last year's Oscars? It's all perfect.

Disliked/hated-
1) The whole "heroes" theme. I happened to like Pink's performance but it was so unnecessary, as were the montages. No one bloody tunes in to watch the Oscars because of whatever theme they decide to go with. That's just silly and confusing and distracting.
2) Matthew McConaughey and Jared Leto's white tuxedos. They looked like really good-looking waiters, but waiters nonetheless.
3) Harrison Ford. What happened, Indy?
4) Jim Carrey. It was super awkward to watch.
5) Most of the intros were awkward to watch. ADELE DAZEEM!!!!!!

6) Jared Leto's hair but that's like one of the things I hate most in the world. Well, not the hair but the hair on him. Annoyances!
7) I didn't listen to U2. BOTH times I watched the ceremony. I can't. Nope.
8) Also, Bette Midler singing "Wind Beneath My Wings". That song is one of the many we were made to sing throughout school and I will always feel resentful towards it. And it wasn't a very good performance either.
9) Jennifer Lawrence was a bit mental yesterday. When she came on stage to give Best Actor and randomly started screaming at the crowd- not funny, JLaw. Such a misfire.
10) Speaking of, the entire Jimmy Kimmel thing during the red carpet- what the fuck was that? If you must know, I was eating salsa at like 6:30 in the morning while watching the show. Problem?
11) Chris Hemsworth's wife was super preggers. The Loki in me kind of wanted her to give birth then though, just to see how people would react.
12) Where was Hiddles? Why was he not there? You must rectify this next year, Oscars.
13) Back to the "heroes" thing- why the fuck would you put the new Spider-Man and Superman only? They are barely heroic.
14) Also, I kind of hate it when anything Harry Potter-related is used during the Oscars. You had your chance, bastards. Avada kedavra!
15) The Great Beauty winning Best Foreign Film. Boo you pretentious whores.
16) I mean Mads was sitting there, razor-sharp cheekbones and everything. He could have come up if The Hunt had won. Dumasses.
17) The constant standing ovations. They just weren't cool anymore.
18) Matthew McConaughey's speech was actually kind of terrible. I listened to it twice to make sure. He should have just said "Alright alright alright" and left.
19) Those Oscar statuette shaped bauble thingies at the back. Terrifying! I'm surprised drunk JLaw didn't fight one of them.
20) In totes agreement with all who are angry at Oscars not including honorary Oscars in the main ceremony. Angelina Jolie's speech for that was one of the most beautiful things ever.
21) That I should really get off the net while the ceremony is going on. I missed a lot the first time tweeting and chatting with friends. Also that the whole Twitter shutting down thing made me panic a tad too much.
22) My absolute least-favourite thing about these Oscars- just how incredibly predictable and boring the winners ended up being. There were people on my Facebook page who have barely watched any of the movies but were announcing how they did with the predictions because they had obviously read about it in 150000 sites already. I really want Oscars to change its airdate. We need some excitement, come on! Nothing against the winners, just that an upset or two is always fun.

         And that's it. As you can see, I was quite happy with the ceremony in general. Let's end this with what has become the catchphrase of this award season. See you next year, O sweet headache-inducing Oscars.

Dance, Leo! Dance!

I controlled myself from using the gif above in the Golden Globes post because I was hoping it could be better served if Leo got an Oscar nomination. AND HE DID!!!!!! I am so happy. I could barely sit through my first French class (Salut everyone).

As usual, the rest of the nominations are a mixed bag. For every Gravity nomination, there is an American Hustle nomination, literally. They each bagged 10 nominations followed by the 9 of 12 Years A Slave. Lee Daniels' The Butler got nothing, so yaay!

Expectations Vs Reality

Best Film: 9 out of 9- Really have to see this Philomania (yaay Steve Coogan's an Oscar nominee)

Best Director: 5 out of 5- Paul Greengrass was phenomenal so it's sad not to see him here.

Best Actress: 5 out of 5- Meryl Streep has 18 acting nominations now.

Best Actor: 4 out of 5- LEOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! Did not expect the Bale nomination and that Tam Honks would get snubbed. I was so looking forward to writing Tam Honks throughout this award season.

Best Supporting Actress: 4/5 out of 5- since I did mention JLaw but it was more of a plea for her not to get nominated. I still love her but man, the backlash is going to be brutal.

Best Supporting Actor: 5 out of 5- Sad about no Franco but hellz yeah for Hill and Fassy (!!!!) getting nominated.

Best Original Screenplay: 4 out of 5- Forgot about Dallas Buyers Club.

Best Adapted Screenplay: 4 out of 5- Didn't predict Philomania but yaay for Coogan again. And the Before Midnight team, duhs.


Other thoughts-

• Dallas Buyers Club got a nomination for editing? What?
• No Stories We Tell :( I get that 2013 was an exceptional year for documentaries and I am going to watch as many of then as I can, but Sarah Polley's exploration of family and memories is so universal and touching, I really thought it had a chance.
• Happy about The Grandmaster's cinematography and costume design nominations. Of course, Lubezki ought to win the former, but gosh, the clothes in the movie were lovely!
• Of course films like Frances Ha, Spring Breakers and Stoker get nothing. Duh.
• So happy for Barkhad Abdi. Inspirational stuff.
• Yaay Karen O. and Arcade Fire are Oscar nominees!!
• Pacific Rim didn't get nominated for Best Visual Effects? What the fucking hell? These people deserve to be eaten by kaijus.

     And that's it. Au revoir and bonne nuit!

It's Oscars or whatever

So I woke up at 3:30 in the morning to see the 84th Academy Awards. I had woken up around the same time the previous night thinking I had gotten my time zones wrong and Oscars have started.

My thoughts:
- Ugh the interviewers are stupid. I did like the British female though, despite that interview with Nick Nolte.

- I loved the Mominees part. I started tearing up.

- My best-dressed- Jessica Chastain with her red hair and that awesome black and gold dress and Michelle Williams in a colour which made me think of red roses. I also liked Octavia Spencer (who Nina Garcia called OctAhvia), Kristen Wiig, Sandra Bullock, Gwyneth Paltrow, Angelina Jolie, Rose Byrne and a very appropriate Glenn Close.

- When they showed those guys carrying the Oscar envelopes in the suitcases, I couldn't help but picture someone tackling them and the envelopes flying out in a dramatic fashion. Why don't people tackle them?

- I hate that they keep showing the inside of the theatre. It loses the magic and appeal.

- So the show starts. I don't know if I liked the interior design so much. For whatever reason it made the place look smaller.

- I like Morgan Freeman too much. Nice way to open and that montage was funny. Minus Beiber of course.

- Billy Crystal was not in his top form. I couldn't understand some of the things he said or sang. But he was still much better than the train wreck last time.

- Doesn't Tom Hanks start the awards-giving every year?

- I can't believe Emmanuel Lubezki didn't win for cinematography! I mean, The Tree of Life is one of the most beautiful looking films to have ever been made, and Lubezki is to thank for that. Hugo was good, but certainly not this great.

- So I don't know at what point to start my Harry Potter tirade. Maybe a bit later on. Anyways it didn't win the much deserved Art Direction award.

- That band on the side made me think of the Oscars as an overblown late night talk show. I hated that they kept cutting to it. The direction was really off this year.

- Then there's a random montage of why we love movies or something, which was the running theme of the night. It started with Forrest Gump, then Titanic, and then *cue drum roll* Twilight. Because of course Twilight is a cinematic experience none of us should ever miss! It ended with the orgasm scene in When Harry Met Sally though, which is epic.

- Why do they still call Jennifer Lopez and Cameron Diaz to this? Why? They colour coordinated their ugly gowns and everything.

- Christian Bale comes! I miss him and everything else of last year's award season.

- Jessica Chastain's reaction to her clip was so pretty. Also I am finally coming to terms with Tate Taylor being a bit of a dreamboat.

- Of course OctAhvia Spencer won. The standing ovation was nice though it seemed like one of those times when you are goaded into standing because people are sheep-like. I had enough of those at school.

- One of the best part of the awards was undoubtedly that totally unexpected and properly deserved win by Angus Wall and Kirk Baxter. They were so shocked, and that's how it is still fun. I loved their shout-out to Rooney Mara, who is just so pretty. First back-to-back editing win since the 30s. Also, a little reminder of the awesomeness of The Social Network. Joys :D

- Tina Fey and Bradley Cooper gave like three awards. They wouldn't leave. Oscars could have gotten other presenters.

- The Cirque de Soleil performance was very well done, though incredibly random. I did like that female standing on that guy's head though.

- Robrt Downey Jr. and Emma Stone killed it. They are too awesome! I love Emma Stone's readiness to do the stupid. She looked really happy the whole time. And of course, no one is cooler than RDJesus.

- So visual effects are given to Hugo and with that ends the last chance EVER for Harry Potter to win an Oscar. And then Billy Crystal makes a nice little passing remark on how the series ended this year. Hold on tight folks, this is going to get bumpy.

WHY THE FUCK DO THE OSCARS HATE HARRY POTTER SO MUCH? What did they do to the Oscars? I do not understand. Please explain. They were too successful and fun and not stupid. Is it because they were British, because The King's Speech has to answer a few questions then. They couldn't even get them to present, when the same people were standing there for 2 or 3 different awards. They could have still called Daniel Radcliffe because he was all "Entertainer of the Year" and stuff, and Emma Watson because she was in My Week with Marilyn. Seriously, Twilight gets preference over a decade of simply magical movies. Oscars is probably the only place where Twilight > Harry Potter (even MTV awards are not that disrespectful). And okay fine, don't call them. Don't give them any awards. But then don't mention them either. Because that was really horrible. It's sort of like laughing in your face when you are in incredible pain. THE FACE OF A WHOLE GENERATION. So awful. Why? 

- Christopher Plummer's win was my most favourite, even though that was probably the most obvious. I think Best Supporting Actor category is my favourite in general. His speech will go down in the books. Just that totally classy way with which he started "You're only two years older than me, darling. Where have you been all my life?" It was lovely.

- At one point it looked like Hugo will bag the most awards, but then the award by The Descendants for Adapted Screenplay stopped that. I liked the speech, so I won't say anything. And Angelina Jolie looked like such a superhero goddess there.

- Yaay Woody! I would love to see Woody finally coming to these award ceremonies to get his lifetime achievement awards, but it probably goes against his idea of being immortal. Whatever. I love Woody.

- The bridesmaids were fun. I need to get started on that drinking game. It's funny because Scorsese is one of the main people behind Boardwalk Empire which shuns drinking. His reaction was hilarious. Also he looked adorable in his tux.

- Big question- what was with the popcorn? Were people having popcorn throughout? Won't some of the actresses burst out of their dresses after consuming a single unit?

- Man, Hazanavicius's name-butchering will finally end. I guess his Best Director win was quite deserved.

- I love Honorary Oscars- never-ending tears. They should focus more on them though. Dick Smith and Oprah Winfrey were in tears, and James Earl Jones himself had an epic speech, or whatever little they showed of it. Then the random band played an obnoxiously happy music for them.

- The memorium was lovely and poignant. I find it creepy how so many people pass away like just few months before the Oscars (as IMDb kept informing me on my Facebook page so regularly). The ending with Elizabeth Taylor was perfect. Also the intro by Billy Crystal was probably his shining moment of the night for me. He seemed really on edge throughout.

- Oh the little tributes throughout by the actors was really nice. I love Gabourey Sidibe. Also Edward Norton should really win an Oscar already. He looks too much like an Oscar-winner to me.

- I liked that they played Black Swan's music for Natalie Portman. I loved it when she addressed Gary Oldman and a little part of me was still rooting for him (the same little part that went on screaming LEON REUNION!). Still all said and done, Jean Dujardin was a great choice. He spreads so much joy around. He should have had an act with the muppets. Also, make him star in the next muppets movie please.

- A.R. Rahman was there, with the annoying band. Indiansssss.

- Colin Firth is still so dashing. I loved the fact that they played my favourite clip of Rooney Mara's for her nomination. His intro to Meryl Streep was beyond ahmazing. They really must make another film together (especially after the Cinderella moment at the BAFTAs).

- MERYL STREEP!! WOO HOO! So what if The Iron Lady sucks and I will never watch it?! That woman is one of the greatest actors ever. It's been like 29 years since her last win, and if you look at her IMDb page, it has like a million nominations. She was relieved, and like she said, she'll never win again in all probability. Still she makes everything worthwhile and no one can truly hate her.

- Tom Cruise gave Best Film. Really, Oscars, really? The montage was nice. Kudos for the little Benedict Cumberbatch part. Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close totally won.

- Kidding. So many of these nominees got nothing. TTSS, Bridesmaids, The Tree of Life (robbed), Albert Nobbs, ELIC, War Horse (thank the lord) and Harry Potter (no comments). Hugo and The Artist got 5 each and the only other multiple winner was The Iron Lady. Like duh.

- Still as much as I crib now, I will be finding myself sleep-deprived again next year. Let's hope The Hobbit, Django Unchained and The Dark Knight Rises win big. Let's hope the Oscars grow a brain and a heart in some departments. Let's hope people will look back after a hundred years or so and still wonder, like me, about the Oscars' hatred for Harry Potter. Let's hope Hugh Jackman returns soon.

Bye now.