Showing posts with label Silver Linings Playbook. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Silver Linings Playbook. Show all posts

Sunday, 24 February 2013

"I like the way you die, boy."- MY FAVOURITE FILMS OF 2012

        Oscars is tomorrow/today people (depends on your time zone)! What better time to finally post my list of favourite 2012 films? Enjoy.


Honourable mentions- Frankenweenie for showing us the awesomeness that Tim Burton is still capable of, Your Sister's Sister for being just so simple and lovely, Killer Joe for being just the opposite in all its perfect creepiness.

20.
The Dark Knight Rises (Dir: Christopher Nolan)

I have my issues with this film, but it is still one helluva action bonanza with a lot of things to say. The cast is excellent, and this is probably the best ending to the Dark Knight trilogy one could ask for.


19.
Beasts of the Southern Wild (Dir: Behn Zeitlin)

After having watched this film, I just was at a loss of words. Not so much as just being blown away but because I had nothing to compare it to. I have never seen anything of this sort. It's a modern fairytale. It's a commentary. It kind of glorifies poverty. All I know was that I loved whatever had transpired and that Quvénzhane Wallis is a tiny goddess.


18.
Looper (Dir: Rian Johnson)

One of my best experiences in the cinemas all year. I could feel myself gaping at moments. Takes the used-up time-travel plot and twists it to give us something new and memorable. Great performances as well.


17.
Talaash (Dir: Reema Kagti)

The big secret at the end had already been spoiled for me when I went to watch it. Still, I was quite surprised at it and how well-handled it was. It might not work for everyone, but the shady 70s thriller feel, a social commentary on prostitution in big cities and one gorgeous performance by Kareena Kapoor makes it a winner in my eyes.


16.
The Deep Blue Sea (Dir: Terence Davies)

This film haunts you with its melancholic beauty. As much as I love the period settings and the cinematography, it is the cast of actors led by Rachel Weisz that really seals the deal for me.


15.
Les Misérables (Dir: Tom Hooper)

I did not want to like this film, but I did. A lot. I loved most of the singing (ugh Russell Crowe!) and the settings and the story. The performances by Hugh Jackman and Anne Hathaway too were excellent. It's just a very pretty film.


14.
The Cabin in the Woods (Dir: Drew Goddard)

What an awesome, crazy film. One of the funniest, most original movies of the year that both mocks and embraces the horror genre. Has some of the greatest scenes and characters too.


13.
Brave (Dir: Mark Andrews, Brenda Chapman, Steve Purcell)

Pixar is back on form with this completely unique princess tale that most magically focuses on the relationship between a girl and her mother and is not about some silly prince or glass slippers or anything of that sort. Princess Merida is too awesome for that. Also, absolutely gorgeous animation.


12.
Holy Motors (Dir: Leos Carax)

I desperately need to rewatch this film to fully form some opinion on what the hell this film is about. In spite of that, I had just such a great time watching all of the mysterious Mr. Oscar's adventures and Denis Lavant's performance is fantastic.


11.
Magic Mike (Dir: Steven Soderbergh)

OBJECTIFY ALL MEN! Also, thank you Mr. Soderbergh. More films like this should be made, and not just for all that. Could not stop smiling throughout its running time though.


10.
Bachelorette (Dir: Leslye Headland)

It's just one of those films that I end up loving more than others. I thought it was really smart and bitchy and was a very interesting insight into the lives and minds of these women. Brilliant cast!


9.
Moonrise Kingdom (Dir: Wes Anderson)

I have to find some other word to describe it other than 'magical' but I always end up with it or synonyms thereof. It is stunningly shot and designed, has a story about the magic of growing up and that first love, and it's just so funny and sweet.


8.
Argo (Dir: Ben Affleck)

Definitely the best made movie of the year. It is entertaining, smart, thrilling, uplifting. A cool period piece that is more about a situation than any political stands. I would be very happy if this won Best Film at the Oscars.


7.
English Vinglish (Dir: Gauri Shinde)

I was so blown away by the simplicity and the brilliance of this film. A film that I personally relate to being an Indian girl. It is incredibly well-made and balanced and I love all the messages that this film gives. I wish all Indian films could be as smart and socially aware and well-acted as this.


6.
Ruby Sparks (Dir: Jonathan Dayton, Valerie Faris)

An adorable romcom that is also about the creative process and the inner workings of a male mind. It also breaks open the "manic pixie girl" mould. And I love Paul Dano and Zoe Kazan.


5.
The Perks of Being a Wallflower (Dir: Steven Chbosky)

I don't think any film this year has made me so simultaneously happy and sad. I turned 20 last year and I have been feeling so lousy about my life so far and here comes a movie about beautiful young people and feeling infinite and whatnot. Just makes me wish I could go back to being 16 and really do it right this time round.


4.
Skyfall (Dir: Sam Mendes)

Oh gorgeousity! I could have never fathomed being this in love with an action film's look, but here we are. It is also a fantastically made film with a great story line and very memorable performances. Bond has never been better in my eyes.


3.
Django Unchained (Dir: Quentin Tarantino)

It's not flawless, but it is very close to being so. Tarantino tackling slavery seems like such an absurd idea, but god, did he pull it off! It's brutal, it's honest, it's spectacular to look at. Added to that the quintessential Tarantino elements of killer dialogues, magnificent violence and unforgettable characters.


2.
Cloud Atlas (Dir: The Wachowskis and Tom Tykwer)

Pure entertainment and ambition. All the stories, all the lives, all the genres- it is just marvelous. It should have been impossible to pull off, but with a running time that clocks to nearly three hours, it is one of the most engaging and inspiring films of the year.


1.
The Avengers (Dir: Joss Whedon) and Silver Linings Playbook (Dir: David O. Russell)

Speaking of impossible stuff, I just could not choose between the two. While I am a bigger fan of The Avengers, a film I have been raving about ever since I saw it, the Bollywood spirit in me cannot allow a romcom like Silver Linings Playbook, that is about real people and ends with a dance number, to place anywhere but at the top. I have enjoyed and loved these two movies. The characters, the chemistry, the performances, the highly unlikely chances of either being this fucking good(!), and the final acts, all have led to me choosing both The Avengers and Silver Linings Playbook as my number 1 movies of the year.


       So there you have it. These are all my end-of-year lists.

       What did you think?

Wednesday, 20 February 2013

"C'est le temps de l'amour"- MY FAVOURITE SCENES OF THE YEAR

         Here's the thing. Somehow, my favourite scenes this year have either been fight scenes or mainly scenes with singing or dancing in it. Is my true Bollywood spirit seeping through? I don't know, but I do know that the following are some of the most memorable moments of 2012, cinema-wise.

Honourable mentions- Pitch Perfect finale, Accordion interlude in Holy Motors, Calvin J. Candie and the skull in Django Unchained.



10.
Johnny Depp's cameo in 21 Jump Street

For a film that was surprisingly hilarious, its funniest moment comes when original 21 Jump Street man and my movie god (who still very much has it going on if he'd stop coming in crap) reveals his secret identity. Laughter ensues.


 9.
The flight scene in Argo

I admit that I did not know about this whole part of history until I watched the film so the finale was actually really nail-biting for me. However, from what I have read, it thrilled even those who knew about it. The plane lifting off is one of the happiest, most uplifting moments of last year's movies and in my eyes, warrants that Best Film Oscar.


 8.
The voting scene in Lincoln

Speaking of uplifting scenes, this part of Lincoln really stood out for me. I am not the biggest fan of the movie and I was pretty bored throughout but here, when I did know the result and was still so moved by it, I loved the film (but that's it).



7.
The beach dance in Moonrise Kingdom

Heaven would be being in a place and a time and a scene like this.


 6.
The cell breakdown in The Master

In a way, this could have been in my favourite fight scenes. I just love the contrast between these two men which is most prominent here. Freddy goes batshit crazy in the cell, and Dodd just stands there, cool and composed, looking on. Brilliant.


 5.
Gena's and Clyde's kiss in Bachelorette

What makes this scene even more amazing is the fact that the song that leads to the kiss in the film, The Proclaimers' legendary "I'm Gonna Be (500 Miles)", was put in afterwards. I love Lizzy Caplan and Adam Scott and their chemistry here is to die for.


 4.
"Who Were We" sequence in Holy Motors

Holy Motors is a film full of unforgettable, incredibly original scenes. This one, though not the most unique sequence in the film, is my favourite because it is so poignant and mysterious and beautifully shot. In a way, it is the antithesis of the beach scene in Moonrise Kingdom, but it is just as touching.


 3.
Hester underground in The Deep Blue Sea

I realise also that my list is full of either really happy, life-affirming moments or incredibly sad ones. This one is both in a way. Hester, played immaculately by the lovely Rachel Weisz, comes to the train station to commit suicide after another fight with her lover when she is transported back to the time when she, along with her husband and many other people, were hiding out there during the London air raids. There was a song and a glimpse of hope in a lot of misery and Hester finally realises that life, however terrible it may become, is still worth living.


2.
"I Dreamed a Dream" in Les Misérables

This scene gave me shivers when I first saw it. I understand why Anne Hathaway is going to win an Oscar for a scene that barely lasts five minutes. The range in it is astounding- sadness, nostalgia, disappointment, bitterness, anger, and finally, the acceptance of such a faith. The way I see it, this song captures the last moments of hope in a person, how it does fight to stay alive but life has other plans. I cried.


 1.
The final dance scene in Silver Linings Playbook

This scene was made to be loved by me. A kooky dance number in a ballroom competition- come on! It is fun and romantic and sexy and has one super uncomfortable moment but that just makes it better and they play "Fell In Love With A Girl" and there is tap dancing and the leads staring into each other's eyes a lot- TOTES AMAZEBALLS! Happiest, most awesome scene of the year.

Friday, 8 February 2013

The Big Fat 2012 Mini Reviews Post

          I realise that I haven't written a review in this "movie" blog in about three months. In order to violently shake myself out of this jadedness, I have decided to write loads of them, all at once. All are from 2012, and the title comes from the Big Fat Quizzes of the Year that I have been watching a lot because I'm in love with Noel Fielding. Enjoy, I guess.



Les Misérables (Dir: Tom Hooper)

"Do you hear the people sing?"

Basic plot (for those philistines like me out there)- Adapted from the reknowned musical, the film follows Jean Valijean, who after being imprisoned for nineteen years is finally a free man who cannot escape his checkered past. He breaks his parole to get a new life, and a new enemy in the process,  the ruthless inspector Javert. When  due to his negligence, a factory worker, Fantine, suffers a terrible fate, he adopts her daughter Cosette and raises her, but always under the threat of Javert. Set in 18th century France.

         If you know of my The Social Network and David Fincher obsession, you must know that I do not like Tom Hooper very much. I know it's silly, but it is what it is. Also, Russell Crowe's face irritates me to no end. So with this in mind, I sat down to watch Les Mis, totally ignorant of the story as I have neither read the book nor watched the musical. And lo and behold, I really liked it! I think being a Bollywood person, I am partial towards the musical genre as long as it does not overwhelm you with all the singing (I'm looking at you, The Umbrellas of Cherbourg). And this might be the first time I have seen a film employ live-singing, a brilliant decision by Mr. Hooper, I must say. Without it, we could not have had two gorgeous performances by Hugh Jackman and Anne Hathaway, both deservedly nominated for Oscars for their roles. Hathaway's rendition of "I Dreamed a Dream" literally made me shiver, and Jackman was plain wonderful and was born to play the role of Valijean. I thought the film looked quite beautiful, in spite of the infamous dutch angles and other filming techniques Hooper is known for. Among the other cast members, I thought Helena Bonham Carter, Sacha Baron Cohen and Samantha Barks were pretty perfect and so were the kids playing little Cosette and Gavroche. Eddie Redmayne and Amanda Seyfried were slightly annoying, but apparently their characters of Marius and older Cosette respectively are not very liked. Which brings us to Russell Crowe as Javert. Oh good lord, my ears! Russell Crowe's "singing" is one of the most painful things I have ever experienced in my life. I might have liked Javert if he was played by someone else, but Hooper's biggest misstep ended up being this particular casting choice.

        From whatever I have read in Wikipedia, I thought the story was very well presented. The costumes, the music, the characters (except Javert) were all top-notch and I had two pretty special cinema trips all in all. I have almost forgiven Tom Hooper because of this and Jackman is the man!

Rating- 9/10



Pitch Perfect (Dir: Jason Moore)

"You guys are gonna get pitch-slapped so hard, your man boobs are gonna concave."


Basic plot- The Bellas want to be the first all-girls group to win the International Championship of Collegiate A Capella and take the title away from Treblemakers, an all-boys group in their college. When edgy newbie Beca joins their group with a bunch of other characters, most notably (the awesome) Fat Amy, they finally have a chance at the title.

       Yes, this film is not very deep, but what it is is a lot of fun. It begins rather poorly, due to the totally misfired puke joke (PUKE IS NOT FUNNY, PEOPLE!), but then it gets much, much better. The songs, the lines, Rebel Wilson's ahmazing Fat Amy, all make the film very enjoyable and the right kind of fluffy fun that does not completely insult your intelligence. Once again, I enjoyed most of the songs, even though my total lack of knowledge about current popular music made it a little difficult. Many people are calling it "our" Bring It On, which is not an unfair comparison. This too is about an underdog group coming out on top and all the hilarious, music-themed obstacles in between. Anna Kendrick played Beca and while I loved her audition song, she was quite non-charismatic as the protagonist, which is a shame because I usually really like her. Then again, all characters faded under the epicosity that was Fat Amy. Easily one of my favourite comic characters of recent times, Wilson's timing and dialogue delivery is to die for and she is a rather special singer too. Other actors too like Anna Camp, Brittany Snow, Elizabeth Banks and Skylar Astin were quite entertaining.

        One other thing that I personally really loved about this film was all the Breakfast Club love. I am an unabashed fan of the John Hughes classic and any film that idolises it gets points from me. Watch it for Fat Amy!

Rating- 7.5/10


Anna Karenina (Dir: Joe Wright)

"Anna isn't a criminal, but she broke the rules!"

Basic plot (for those philistines like me etc.)- Anna Karenina is a married, aristocratic woman who starts a love affair with Count Vronsky. Caught between her husband Karenin, Vronsky and the unforgiving society, this is the story of Anna's struggle.

           No, I have not read this world famous novel by Leo Tolstoy. Yes, I do hate myself. In regards to this movie, I adored it, though hardly for the story itself. This doesn't mean that I did not like the tale of the doomed Anna. I really did but Joe Wright's decision to make it on a staged setting, with every scene happening in an ever-changing theatre, and all the visuals that that provided, absolutely blew my mind. I am a big believer in "style over substance" if done right. And I would actually give the film the benefit of doubt that after having read the story and then rewatching it, I will almost certainly get many nuances of the script. It's just that I have not seen anything as singularly spectacular as the entire set-up of Anna Karenina ever and I was left completely gobsmacked. 2012 is a year of just stunning-looking movies and this film definitely among the best.

         I am completely of the opinion that Keira Knightley only really acts in a Joe Wright film. Their previous two collaborations, Pride and Prejudice and Atonement, were also beautiful films containing her other two best performances. I thought she was really good as Anna. The costume department did a wondrous job and Knightey benefited the most from it because she looked simply dazzling. However my favourite performances were by the erstwhile Mr. Darcy, Matthew Macfadyen, who plays Anna's brother Stiva, and ugly-mustached Aaron Johnson as Vronsky. Macfadyen was really funny and believable and I felt the most for Johnson's Vronsky. The rest of the cast made of Jude Law, Domhnall Gleeson, Kelly Macdonald, Alicia Vikander and Ruth Wilson were pretty good too.

      Wright comes out as the hero though. With the exception of The Soloist that I have not seen yet, I have loved all of his films. Anna Karenina joins this group because I thought he outdid himself with its visuals (though my love for Atonement and its beauty knows no bounds). It was also a rather smart decision because the story of Anna had to be presented in the "all the world's a stage" way. I think a woman's life is often judged just like it is public property and Anna's certainly was. All the little tricks Wright plays in telling the story this way is very commendable and my eyes and I were captivated throughout.

Rating- 9.5/10



English Vinglish (Dir: Gauri Shinde)

"When you learn to love yourself then the same old life starts looking new..."

Basic plot- Shashi is an excellent Indian housewife whose only flaw it seems is her inability to converse in English properly, as pointed by her unappreciative husband and smug daughter on a regular basis. When she has to go to New York to help with her niece's wedding, she finds an avenue to improve this part of herself by enrolling in an English-speaking class.

        I loved it. (Note: All the following reviews are going to start the same way) Absolutely, madly, unexpectedly. I had heard a lot of praises, but I could not believe that it was *this* good. It has been a while since I saw an Indian film as flawless as English Vinglish. The story, the humour, the heart, the message, the characters- everything was as perfect as could be. I kept waiting for something to go amiss, but nothing ever does in this film. It's believable and wonderful and oh so inspiring. Sri Devi is excellent as Shashi, a character so common and rare at the same time. Being Indian, I have seen many women like her- heck, I even saw shades of my mother in her- the Indian housewife who is expected to live her life in the service of her family and never ask anything for herself, and then to see her emerge as this heroic, independent, free-thinking woman is nothing short of jubilating. I don't know how much people of other cultures will identify with her, though this film does a beautiful job of portraying all types of people from many different places remarkably well, but I certainly did and it was fantastic. A woman wrote and directed it as well, and I don't think a male director would have been able to make it as perceptively. Shinde did some fantastic work here in showing the inner and outer life of Shashi and all the people around her.

       Of course this is Sri Devi's big comeback film and I don't recall any Indian actor, especially a female actor, ever having done a better one. Save her accent and voice which were a little distracting for me, all the emotions, which were often very subtle, were shown exquisitely by her. The other two characters I really loved in the movie were Laurent, played by Mehdi Nebbou, the French classmate of Shashi's who falls for her and their bilingual conversations are lovely to watch, and Shashi's niece Radha, played by Priya Anand, who helps Shashi succeed in her clandestine efforts. Two characters I absolutely despised were of Shashi's husband and daughter who were just horrid, but the film took the higher path in dealing with them as well.

        English Vinglish is also a rather beautiful looking film, showing the great city of Manhattan through the eyes of a fascinated stranger. The music though not very memorable, is complimentary enough. Shinde and Sri Devi have outdid themselves with this adorable little tale and there is just so much to love in this film that I cannot recommend it enough. PLEASE watch it, please!!

Rating- 10/10


Cloud Atlas (Dir: The Wachowskis and Tom Tykwer)



"We cross and re-cross our old paths like figure-skaters."



Basic plot- A grandiose tale about interweaving lives through six different time periods and how every life affects another throughout the history of the world through its actions.

          I loved it. This film is so grand and marvelous and entertaining! It is the reason we like stories and watch movies. It is complex yet simple. I will admit that in both of my viewings I have not attempted to really sort out this film but then again, do I have to? Can't I just love it because it shows a plethora of characters, all played by an assortment of actors, and it spans through the genres of adventure, comedy, political thriller, sci-fi, dystopian worlds, and of course romance? Or because of the fact that I was completely enthralled throughout its running time of almost three hours? Or just because Ben Whishaw is the loveliest person ever and Hugo Weaving gets to play a villain in drag? Whatever the reason is, I adored this film. 

          I have read about it being one of the most ambitious films ever made. After watching it, all I could think of is why aren't more movies like this made? There are so many stories to tell because every one has their own story. An crabby old publisher's escape from an old age home is no less impressive than a ballsy journalist trying to uncover a huge nuclear disaster-in-making. The romance of a gay musician in the 30s is just as magical as that of a fabricant in a futuristic world. The film celebrates love and freedom and bravery, just like all great stories that we have heard our entire lives do. And I really did think that it was great.

        The film looked amazing too. Every time period has its own allure and all the costumes and set-designs for them are superb. Of course in the visuals sphere, nothing beats the hair and make-up department which turns Halle Berry into a white lady, Ben Whishaw into an oppressed wife, Jim Sturgess into an Asian action hero and Hugh Grant into a cannibalistic tribesman and so on. It takes quite sometime to actually figure out who is playing who in this film, and I even enjoyed that part about it. I really liked all of the cast, but my favourites were Jim Broadbent, Weaving, Doona Bae, and Whishaw being the most exemplary.

       The Wachowski Brothers and Tom Tykwer have made a helluva movie-watching experience here. I don't understand the hate for it but to his or her own.

Rating- 10/10


Django Unchained (Dir: Quentin Tarantino)

"You silver tongued devil, you."

Basic plot- Django is a slave freed by the bounty hunter, Dr. King Schultz, in order to assist him in finding a group of men with a bounty on their head. Soon they start bounty hunting together till they decide to go and rescue Django's wife, Broomhilda, who has been sold to the infamous plantation owner, Calvin J. Candie.

        I loved it. Notice how the quote I put for this film is not one of the more well-known ones, like "I like the way you die, boy." or "Gentlemen, you had my curiosity. But now you have my attention." or even the very obvious "Django. The D is silent." This is because the above quote is exactly what I would like to say to the filmmaker extraordinaire, Quentin Tarantino, who once again proves that he is one of the best writers and directors around. He made a non-sleep-inducing western, with new awesome characters that are now part of the Tarantino-verse. Leonardo DiCaprio as Candie, Christoph Waltz as Schultz, Jamie Foxx as Django, Samuel L. Jackson as Candie's trusted and shrewd black servant, Stephen and Kerry Washington as Broomhilde. In the first watch, DiCaprio and Waltz shine the most, as they really embrace the Tarantino-speak, and Jackson reveals a whole new facet to himself. In the second watch, I thought Foxx was pretty excellent as Django and Washington really good too. 

      The film looked gorgeous with the magnificent American outback, all the period settings and costumes, and of course all the blood. All the shooting in Django Unchained looks almost pompous, which made it hilarious for me. It is one of the more disturbingly violent films by Tarantino as it does not shy away from showing a very dark side of slavery. Candie and Stephen are some of the worst kinds of characters ever, but DiCaprio also manages to imbibe a lot of humour in his portrayal of the former. Again, on a repeated viewing, I was able to truly appreciate Django's whole tale, how he goes from being a scared, unsure slave to a smooth-talking, powerful, bounty hunter, who is likened to Siegfried, a German hero in a fairytale about a character named Broomhilda. The soundtrack is, as is always the case with Tarantino's films, flawless, with "Who Did That To You" and "Freedom" being the best of the best.

       This was my most anticipated movie of the year and while it doesn't take the top spot because it was a tad too long and in my eyes, not as well put together as the other Tarantino films, I really loved it with all my heart and had a rollicking time watching it.

Rating- 10/10


Silver Linings Playbook (Dir: David O. Russell)

"Calm down, crazy."

Basic plot- Pat has just been released from a mental institution where he had been receiving treatment for bipolarity after a violent episode concerning his cheating wife. Out with his new positive attitude and belief in silver linings, he goes back to living with his parents, his OCD-ed bookie father, Pat Sr. and his sweet and caring mother, Dolores. He aims at getting his wife back after improving himself, until he meets newly widowed and equally "crazy" Tiffany who promises to help him if he partners up with her for a dancing competition.

          I loved it. A romcom about people with personality disorders that ends in a ballroom dancing episode? I mean it has practically been custom-made to be loved by me. It was funny and touching at the same time. The script was excellent and the acting top-notch. Everyone was perfect in their roles and I cannot think of a better film to get nominations in all four acting categories in the Oscars than this. Though Tiffany, played by Jennifer Lawrence, is my favourite character in the movie, on a repeated viewing, I think Cooper gives the best performance in the movie and of his career so far. Not just his outbursts about Hemingway or his wife, but the silent moments, especially while reacting to, ironically, the crazier people around him. Very nuanced work done by Cooper here. Lawrence too is outstanding, giving a performance completely different from her previous Oscar-nominated one in Winter's Bone. As Tiffany, she is loud and feisty and beautifully emotional. I also think that she looked particularly stunning in this film. Robert De Niro makes quite the acting comeback as Pat Sr. who keeps trying so hard to make things better by controlling them. He is hilarious in parts, like when chasing a meddling kid down to his house, and very moving in others, like when he tries to be a father to Pat. Jacki Weaver's Dolores is what binds them all together and she is just so sweet and caring. The chemistry between each and everyone of them is spot on, and it's just a joy to see them play off each other so well.

           Director and writer David O. Russell made Silver Linings Playbook for his son who has bipolar disorder. I usually try to keep the art and the artist separated, but I think sometimes it is alright to admire such people for their motives and inspirations. I think this is why the film had so much heart in it. It was also very witty in the way it played with similar sequences like the Pat and Tiffany running thing or how even the more contrived bits made sense. I especially appreciated its stance on Indians and not making us all about curry and saris and slums and giving the great Anupam Kher such a lovely role.

       I would love for Silver Linings Playbook to win Best Film and also Best Actress for Lawrence and Best Supporting Actor for De Niro, who I feel is the most deserving of a third Oscar this year. The film is a true delight.

Rating- 10/10

Monday, 14 January 2013

“Quentin Tarantino is here, the star of all my sexual nightmares." GOLDEN GLOBES HAPPENED, BICHES!


           I bloody love the Golden Globes. They are always so much fun and incredibly unpredictable, which just adds to the fun. Though I respect the Oscars more (don't ask why, it's an inherent thing, like it is for everybody else), Globes is my favourite awards show and the 70th Golden Globes Awards just reaffirmed that.

1) I went to bed at around 2:30 a.m. and then woke up at 5:30 a.m. panicking because I thought I had missed them. Turns out they start an hour later and for the first time in a very long time I had to listen to modern pop music on VH1 (which was airing the show) to stay awake. It was trauma (I HATE YOU MAROON 5!).
2) And yes, I have slept for only 3 hours so I apologise for any craziness that may or may not occur in this post.
3) Though they didn't air the red carpet, my absolute favourite gown was what Lucy Liu wore. It was like something out of Marie Antoinette-
I also really loved what Kate Hudson, Amy Adams and Naomi Watts wore. They were all so dramatic.

4) Rachel Weisz's outfit was a classic example of how a good dress can go bad. She's so beautiful though.
5) Anywho, the show starts and the hosts, part-time comedy goddesses, Tina Fey and Amy Poeher kill it! So funny. Some classics- 
"When it comes to torture, I trust the lady spending three years married to James Cameron." (Jessica Chastain's face here was priceless).
"Anne Hathaway, you gave a stunning performance in Les Miserables. I have not someone so totally alone and abandoned since you were on stage with James Franco at the Oscars.
Meryl Streep isn’t here tonight. She has the flu, and I hear she’s amazing in it.
 Daniel Day Lewis being E.T. He looks like such a silver fox. I love it.

6) The first award is Best Supporting Actor and lo and behold, who should win it but Christoph Waltz! Ugh, category fraud. And Leo looked so pretty. I miss pretty Leo. Isn't Golden Globes supposed to be partial to like gorgeous royalty, wtf?

7) Miss and Mr. Golden Globe were children of Clint Eastwood and Michael J. Fox respectively. "You know what, Taylor Swift? Stay away from Michael J. Fox‘s son." Fey threatens later. Lulz.
8) Oh then the president of HFPA comes and hits on Bradley Cooper. Poor Cooper.
9) I know it's trivial to speculate but I think Cooper and J-Law are totes going out. It's all that awesome dancing and staring into the eyes.
10) They got the real Tony Mendez to announce Argo's Best Picture nomination. So cool. Oscar's never do this.
11) Ang Lee looks like such a nice, happy person. And I hate Suraj Sharma. I want to be there!!
12) One of my favourite awards of the evening- Adele won Best Original Song for "Skyfall" and hi-fived James Bond and gave an adorable speech and Taylor Swift was left seething. It's okay though. She will probably write a song about it.
And real talent wins!

13) Benedict Cumberbatch did not get an award AGAIN! And he lost to Kevin Costner who sounded really sad and stuff.
LOOK AT HIM! JUST LOOK! GIVE HIM A BLOODY AWARD!!!

14) Oh then Bill Clinton comes to announce Lincoln's nomination, which was so not fair. He got a standing ovation. I once went to some function where he was the chief guest. He wore a very nice suit. "That was Hillary Clinton's husband!" Leslie Knope speaking through Amy Poehler.
15) At some point Homeland won a ton of awards and Claire Danes's make-up was really sexy. Also Maggie Smith won so yaay!!
16) Man, the commercial breaks were torture. The ads alternated between some Michael Jackson memorial thing with people crying, bloody Taylor Swift promoting her new album and Aishwarya Rai's Loreal commercials, in which she says "Now I am a mother with gorgeous hair." OH MY GOD SHUT UP BICH!
17) Btw, "bich" is my new thing now. Yes, I decide what stupid fads I want to follow.
18) Kristen Wiig and Will Ferrel presented Best Actress Comedy/Musical and were hilarious to everyone except Tommy Lee Jones, who wins the Best Expression of the Golden Globes Award.
He is the Grumpy Cat in human form.

19) Jennifer Lawrence won and she was really funny and sweet. Her "Oh, what does it say? I beat Meryl" was taken from The First Wives Club, so no, it was not a failed joke. She is smarter than us all.
20) Then Anne Hathaway won and she desperately has to work on her surprised face, because you can see through it very easily. Almost makes me wish that when she got up, someone else's name got called out instead. Her thanking Sally Field was really lovely though.
21) Quentin Tarantino won Best Screenplay, making it another favourite win of mine. He was so, in the words of Adele, "pissed" that it was very entertaining to watch.

22) Sylvester Stallone and Arnold Schwarzenegger presented the Best Foreign Film award (duh?) and all I wanted was a fight. Of course Amour won and Michael Haneke accepted the award from fellow Austrian, Schwarzy (are he and Schwarzy  gonna become bezzies now? Methinks 'twas meant to be).
23) Oh I really wanted Anne Hathaway and Claire Danes to have a jazz freakout together. That would have been fun.
24) Sacha Baron Cohen came with a drink in his hand and wittily insulted most of his Les Mis co-stars and also made a joke about Anne Hathaway's unfortunate wardrobe malfunction, and then continued to present the Best Animated Film award. Again, duh? Still, Brave won, so GO PIXAR! Maybe I should get a Pixar tattoo...
25) Lena Dunham won the Best Actress Comedy in television and was really sweet and thanked all the other nominees, but Tina and Amy were not amused. Also, this-
Amy Poehler's nomination being announced.

26) Robert Downey Jr. came to introduce Jodie Foster and give her the Cecil B. Demille award. Someone needs to give him an Oscar just for being himself, because he is unparalleled in his awesomosity.
27) I love Clarice Starling to death. One of my absolute favourite characters and performances of all time. But oh my god, I don't know if it was the lack of sleep or what, but I could not follow anything Jodie Foster said in her acceptance speech. She was burning through a lot of topics really fast. There was something about coming out but then it wasn't, and Honey Boo Boo and reality TV and her mother and some dog whistle and by the end of it, it sounded like she was going to shoot herself on the spot. People in the audience were crying. I was very lost.
28) Mel Gibson- BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!
29) Ben Affleck won Best Director, which was brilliant. Argo Fuck Yourselves, Oscars.
30) Hey, hey! Ryan Gosling wasn't there :( And they never showed Cumberbatch again. Eddie Redmayne makes me want to howl though.
31) Girls also won Best Comedy show. Yaays! Season 2 starts today!! Eeeeep!!!
32) My absolute favourite win of the show was Hugh Jackman winning Best Actor Comedy/Musical, beating the frontrunner, Cooper. I was watching his Oscar's opening number just yesterday and I love him so. He was fantastic in Les Mis.
33) Les Mis also, very shockingly, won Best Film Comedy/Musical instead of the favoured and far more superior Silver Linings Playbook. Anne Hathaway is getting slightly annoying.
34) “Our next presenter is so handsome, he makes young George Clooney look like garbage.
Welcome to the stage, middle-age George Clooney.” - best intro ever.
35) Unfortunately, Clooney did not make any jokes about golf clubs or anything. He did poke fun at Ben Affleck though (who had forgotten to thank him in his speech :O). Jessica Chastain won Best Actress Drama and was wonderful, although I would have much preferred to see Rachel Weisz take home the Globe. And Daniel Day Lewis won Best Actor Drama, hence making the Best Actor race the most boring category of the year.
36) Oh Joaquin Phoenix was totally there. Maybe he likes the Globes more than the Oscars. Maybe it was all the alcohol.

See.

37) Argo won Best Picture Drama! Woo hoo! I wish Drama and Comedy were kept on the same pedestal though. The preference of one to the other is depressing, literally. Anyways, I hope this happens at the Oscars as well.
38) "Good night! We’re going home with Jodie Foster!

Your move, Oscars.