"This is like Spike Lee saying he's white."- FAVOURITE EVERYTHING ELSE OF 2014

          Okay since lists are awesome and I am a lazy ass, I am going to give you guys a condensed but hopefully fun version of these other "Best of 2014" superlatives. My favourite Performances and Films are yet to come but this is, as the title says, everything else :)

• ScarJo in Under the Skin and Lucy- Both very different yet completely effective types of sexy. ScarJo is basically a sex goddess and we should all worship the ground she walks upon.
• Wallace in What If- It's funny and adorable DanRad being funny and adorable. Ovaries = Obliterated.
• Hot Saxophone Player in Ida- I don't care what his name was. He made a to-be nun horny AND he plays the sax *fans herself*
• Peter Quill aka Star-Lord in Guardians of the Galaxy- Because there weren't enough shirtless scenes.
• Jerome in Nymphomaniac, part 1- I really did not want to find him attractive but the way the present him, hands and all, I couldn't help myself. Also, I feel like that's tmi but I needed to explain this one.
• Hiccup in How to Train Your Dragon 2 and Tadashi in Big Hero 6- Because HELLO hot animated characters!
• Rita Vratasky in Edge of Tomorrow- Because look at those biceps!
• Mahabir in Highway- He's a truck driver who wears a lungi aka the fugliest item of clothing in the whole wide world, and STILL manages to look hot.
• Adam in Only Lovers Left Alive- Marlowe wanted to use him as inspiration for Hamlet. And he's a rockstar. And he looks good naked.

Sexiest Character of 2014- David in The Guest

Yeah, so I made this list so he could top it, *obviously*. The filmmakers deliberately objectified him. I mean, come on! And it's not just the body but also the eyes and the voice. Yeah okay, I get that he's like a lean (oh god, soooo lean!), mean, killing machine but nobody's perfect.

• Dave Skylark in The Interview- He's such an idiot but god he's hilarious.
• Anna Morales in A Most Violent Year- She had me at "This was very disrespectful." *swoons*
• Donna and Nellie in Obvious Child- I adored both of them. Yes, Donna is more fun but Nellie is so no-nonsense.
• M. Gustave in The Grand Budapest Hotel- Both delightful and heartbreaking.
• Bobo, Klara and Hedvig in We Are the Best!- Because they remind me of the kind of friends I have had, but with mohawks.
• Rocket in Guardians of the Galaxy- I never expected that he'd end up being my favourite but I just get his sense of humour. He's fucking badass.
• Detective Rhonda Boney in Gone Girl- I had found her super annoying in the book but Kim Dickens brought such humour to the role. Plus, she's efficient and I like that.
• Batman in The Lego Movie- Best. Batman. Ever.
• Rani in Queen- I just think we can be best friends, that's all.

Favourite Character of 2014- Eve in Only Lovers Left Alive

Okay another bit of information about me none of you want- I really wish I was a vampire. I think they're cool as fuck and Eve might be the coolest, nicest, most magical one ever. I love that she's not jaded because of the amount of time she's lived on earth, rather she's constantly amazed by things around her. It's a beautiful quality to have.

• Gone Girl- I love each and every casting decision made for this film. They are all perfect for the roles they play, big or small.
• Calvary- The first time I saw it, I couldn't stop gaping every time a new totally excellent Irish actor popped up. This film has Mad-Eye Moody, Roy from The I.T. Crowd, Littlefinger and Bernard Black- if that's not awesome, I dunno what is.
• Pride- The film is such a collaboration. No one really outshines anyone else because everyone is so lovely.
• Captain America: The Winter Soldier and Guardians of the Galaxy- I always love the ensembles Marvel picks out and last year was no different.

Favourite Ensemble of 2014- Birdman

Everyone is just soooooo good in this film! Sure, I have my favourites but all the actors did fantastic work in the film and they all get their moments to shine.

• Eleanor's hair in The Disappearance of Eleanor Rigby- I have such a crush on that hair. It's gorgeous.
• Food in Chef- No explanation needed.
• The tank in The Interview- *in a valley girl accent* Uhh, it plays Katy Perry.
• The hotel in The Grand Budapest Hotel- How I wish it was real!
• The blood goblets in Only Lovers Left Alive- Has blood ever looked more delectable? (Don't answer that, please).
• The hot sauce in Top Five- If you've watched the movie, you know what I'm talking about. I cried laughing.
• The clothes in God Help the Girl- I just want all of them. Even James'.
• The cheekbones in Maleficent- #cheekbonesgoals 

Favourite Object of 2014- the Train in Snowpiercer 

A world inside a train. Of course, it isn't a very good world and I don't particularly like the train or what it stands for but I loved what they did with it. The way it reveals itself was one of the greatest joys of watching this amazing film.

Favourite Quotes of 2014

(The first one is my #1 and all the others are in random order.)

Phew, that's a lot! Do you guys have a favourite or sexiest character or most loved object or ensemble or quote of last year? What are they?

Also in Best of 2014:
My Favourite Shots
My Favourite Scenes
My Favourite Heroes and Villains

"I am a hat. You are a shoe."- MY FAVOURITE HEROES AND VILLAINS OF 2014

   HEROES

    
           I have never made a Favourite Heroes list before but because of, well, my number 1 spot, I had decided very early in 2014 to make this list. The only problem was that I usually always prefer villains to heroes and I thought I wouldn't get enough characters to make a list out of. However, I was wrong and in fact, I had to leave out quite a few in my heroes list. There's just something about the kind of characters of 2014 films with their different types of heroism that is genuinely inspiring. 

10.

Father James in Calvary

He is the good priest who has to pay the price for a bad, bad world. James' heroism comes through not only because nearly everyone else around him is fucked up in their own way but also due to the fact that he too has a dark side within him and he has to come to terms with that. The name of the film alludes to Jesus Christ's sacrifice for the sins of the human race and Father James, in a much smaller yet significant way, also does that.

9.

LGSM and the Miners in Pride

Pride is the kind of movie that fills one with infinite hope because we see that there *are* really good, solid people in this world no matter from however small a place they come from. Both the LGSM and the miners fight for their right to be heard and accepted and their mutual love, respect and support for each other wins at the end. Also the fact that all of this actually happened makes it even better.

8.

Emmett in The Lego Movie

The Lego Movie, among many things, is a very clever deconstruction of the "chosen one" trope and so of course the "Special" had to be here. The Special is basically the most ordinary person one can find but the film shows how even someone as apparently unimaginative and unremarkable as Emmett can become the hero of the story and become special once he believes in himself.

7.

Rita Vratasky aka Full Metal Bitch in Edge of Tomorrow

She's a total fucking badass who outshines Tom Cruise in his own action movie. Need I say more?

6.

John Wick in John Wick

Oh he's just soooo cool! I love a good revenge flick, especially those with the Russian mafia and world class assassins. Also, as scared as I am of dogs, taking out a whole bunch of scary guys in retaliation for killing his puppy, all while wearing a well-tailored suit is like the height of chivalry and badassery.

5.

Rani in Queen

Queen is the story of an Indian woman's emancipation and how traveling opens up not just her world but her mind too. On purely realistic levels, Rani is the most inspirational person on this list for me because I get where she was coming from and I love where she and the film goes in her journey of self-discovery. I mean, the scene where she saves her bag from the thief was the moment she becomes this person for me because I never expected that but that is exactly what makes it so liberating and awesome.

4.

The Guardians in Guardians of the Galaxy

These bunch of a-holes, consisting of a hot thief, a green assassin, a crazy muscle guy, a talking raccoon and a walking tree save the whole galaxy through the power of their camaraderie. As rude and sarcastic as they are, the fact their friendship saves the day is all kinds of adorable and heartwarming.

3.

Hiccup and Toothless in How to Train Your Dragon 2

While the first film was about the formation of this unlikely partnership, the second one shows the true heroes both Hiccup and Toothless are. They become the alphas of their own packs through their inherent goodness and courage and trust in one another.

2.

Sandra Bya in Two Days, One Night

I can't tell you how much Sandra's small victory meant to me when I watched the movie. It reminded me of something I had done myself a while back which mostly only pertained to me but it was something that changed my life. Compared to some of the other characters in this list, what Sandra does seems absurd and insignificant but there is a true heroism in it. I love stories about everyday heroes and Sandra, who does the frankly daunting task of convincing her fellow workers to give up their bonus for her job while she's battling depression, is definitely one such person.

1.

Steve Rogers in Captain America: The Winter Soldier and Curtis in Snowpiercer

I saw Winter Soldier and Snowpiercer within a short while of each other and I knew then that no other character last year can beat both these Chris Evans' roles. And no, I couldn't choose between the two. Both of them are different but very powerful heroes in their own way. Steve is like the best person ever and he has to face the corrupt world he has woken up to and figure out how to still stick with his ideals in it. Curtis, on the other hand, is a man with a dark past and he reminds me of a Greek hero because he is so brave and so tragic. 

VILLAINS

          And now we come to the villains. We've got some pretty memorable ones in 2014, proving yet again why it's such a brilliant film year (I'm just going to keep harping on about this, soz).

10.

Mercedes in 22 Jump Street

Life lesson: college girls can be evil masterminds. Plus, it was hilarious that even she couldn't escape the awkwardness of that age.

9.

Kim Jong-un in The Interview

Do I really have to explain this one? Props to Randall Park for having the balls to play this role. I liked that as funny and pathetic as he was, there were proper moments of despotic madness there.

8.

Koba in Dawn of the Planet of the Apes

Rise of the Planet of the Apes set up the stage for the horrifying-looking Koba and he fully delivered in Dawn. Through him, we see how destructive greed, anger and jealousy are, in humans or in apes. He is manipulative and powerful and shows what a true tyrant can do.

7.

Michel in Stranger by the Lake

On one hand, he is a cold-blooded killer, and on the other, he's a sex god who looks glorious naked (he *just* missed out in my Sexiest Characters list that I'm going to post tomorrow). I'm as conflicted as poor Franck :(

6.

Louis Bloom in Nightcrawler

Like the coyote from which Jake Gyllenhaal drew inspiration for this role, Bloom is a brutal scavenger. He's also hilarious. The only reason he's not higher on the list is because I feel that in the movie, the society is as bad a villain as Bloom since we not only let people like him exist but also prosper.

5.

Minister Mason in Snowpiercer

The worst kind of bureaucrat, Tilda Swinton based this role on "a complete smash cut of all the monstrous, maniacal, political clowns." Of course, she *is* funny but she is also a symbol of oppression and intolerance.

4.

The Babadook in The Babadook

Speaking of symbols, the Babadook stands as much for the parental anxiety and guilt about sometimes hating your child as it does for all the unseen things that go bump in the night. Plus, I am never going to unhear its frightening voice.

3.

David in The Guest

I'm still not over what a total psycho he turned out to be. Like Emmett earlier, he completely upends our ideas about him. We seem to be okay with him hurting the "bad" guys but once we see his utter indifference towards killing however many people, we are shocked. The hot hero turns out to be the brainwashed villain and it's perfectly awesome.

2.

Terence Fletcher in Whiplash

In many ways, he's the scariest character on this list simply because people like him definitely exist. Yes, he has a philosophy behind his methods and whether you agree with it or not, there's no denying that he's terrifying motherfucker. I would never ever ever want to cross paths with someone like him.

1.

Amy Dunne in Gone Girl

It almost looks like she's praying in this picture but she's actually holding a boxcutter with which she is going to murder someone moments later. BOOM! THAT'S WHY SHE'S NUMBER 1, BITCHES!

Amy Dunne is a cinematic villain for the ages. She's gorgeous, psychotic, proud, bitchy, manipulative, deliberate and she gets what she wants, whether it is getting her cheating husband framed for her own murder or the adoration of all the silly people who play into her hands. She defies, gloriously I might add, all the societal expectations put on her gender and she makes them turn on their heads for her own benefit. I lurrrve, loave, luff her!

     Who were your top heroes and villains of last year?

See also:

My Favourite Shots of 2014

My Favourite Scenes of 2014