Showing posts with label Thoughts. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Thoughts. Show all posts

Tuesday, 4 October 2016

Indian Women Scorned- Thoughts on Angry Indian Goddesses, Pink and Parched



     Hello people of the blogging world. It's been a while. A long, long while. And obviously, my maybe comeback post (not making any promises) is about three films that the majority of you all haven't seen because they're Indian films. Oh well. Good job, Nik.

      I have been meaning to write a post for ages now but nothing has really inspired me like the films at hand. These are all "feminist" movies primarily focusing on a group of women and reflect the state of womenhood in India. I'll talk about them one-by-one, in order of viewing and, as it turns out, quality.


       The first film I saw is called Angry Indian Goddesses and it is directed by Pan Nalin. It came out sometime last year and I remember it being in the news because the Indian Censor Board had made many cuts and as far as I can recall, people had liked it. I was just really intrigued by its title and its premise which was sold as the first female buddy movie of India. And it kind of starts off that way after the introductory scenes of all the six main female characters in which they kick some male ass in their own styles (set to "In the Hall of the Mountain King" no less). They all come together at the Goan residence of one of the leads who is going to get married.


       I was intrigued at the set-up first. Sure they seemed like slightly broadly-sketched representations of the "modern Indian woman" but I could live with that. I guessed the first "twist" almost immediately which I'm sure most people can given how progressive this film is supposed to be. Also, to be completely fair to the movie, there were moments in it that were well-shot and it didn't seem to be falling into the traps that are usually present in Hindi movies. However, it had many, many other failings.

       Here's how I can best describe it: Nalin, Subhadra Mahajan, Arsala Qureishi, who are the writers of the film according to its Wikipedia page, probably made a list of all the issues plaguing Indians currently, mainly the women, and then decided to address all of them one-by-one. This movie is like a checklist of "Big Social Problems GAHHHHHH". Law against homosexuality- check. Isolated childhood because of working parents- check. Rape in India- check. Family pressures on women- check.  And so it goes on. None of it is subtle, obviously. There are I think three separate occasions when the women sit in a circle talking aloud about the topic at hand. I mean talk about being spoon-fed. And finally, the writers decide to actually execute one of these issues which results in these women becoming the "angry Indian goddesses" they are, and it is one of the most awful, idiotic, exploitative climax and endings I have ever seen in a film. It properly pissed me off and made me feel sick in a way openly regressive Bollywood films (which is probably 80% of them) have never managed to do. It is such a tone-deaf film, it could be taught in film schools to show what not to do with your scripts and characters.



       Before I make this whole post a rant about the dreadfulness of Angry Indian Goddesses (and that fucking last act!!!), it's better to move on to the next film in my list. Pink, directed by Aniruddha Roy, is a 2016 film which follows three young women who get involved in a court case after one of them broke a bottle on a powerful man's face when he had tried to molest her. Their lawyer is a retired and sick man who wants to defend the victims against the social and cultural stereotypes used to defame modern and outgoing women in India. He is played by famous Indian actor Amitabh Bachchan.


       I was excited about the concept of Pink even though I had found its trailer to be quite confusing. Then the reviews started rolling in and it was getting a lot of love from everywhere. Believing the hype, I went with my two roommates (our living conditions are very similar to the women in the movie which is a bit creepy). My three word review for it would be that I was disappointed.

      The thing about Pink is that it is a pretty silly movie about a very important topic. I cannot fully hate it because it does spread an incredibly crucial and much-needed message about consent and the possibility of that actually educating people is perhaps much bigger than what all it does wrong story-wise. Also, it is quite entertaining and well-acted. My main complaint comes from the disservice it does to the genre of legal dramas. Legal dramas are usually about morality but there is also intelligence in them. Pink foregoes any intellect in order to cultivate and present a moral message to its viewers. It's so stupidly sentimental in the central court case. I am no lawyer but I could point out ten different things that could've been done in that case. I feel frustrated just thinking about it because what were the writers even thinking?  Also, once again, the way the women have been written was wildly inconsistent and even though they tried to make them like "real" women, there was something severely lacking in them. For a film about gender issues, the men and women were all very caricature-esque. Pink could've been really good, even great, if only the writing matched the the gravity of its message.



       All of which brings us to Parched. I first heard about it from Mette when she praised it on our last podcast episode. It is directed by Leena Yadav who is the only female director among these three movies and it shows instantly. This film is also mainly about three women and unlike the other two cases, they are not urban but rather belong to a small rural community which does not even have a single television set. Also unlike the other two, these women feel like real, living, breathing ladies with flaws and desires and one gets completely roped into their world. This film shows many hardships that women face as well, that too in a way more patriarchal and oppressive environment than those shown in the first two films, but they are organic and don't feel like they've been stuffed down our throats.


      I loved this film so much that I have already started praising it and not even discussed its plot. As I wrote above, it is about three women- one is a lonely widow who is looking for a bride for her son, one who has an abusive husband and incapable of getting pregnant and one who is a sort of stripper and prostitute. But they are all loyal, fierce friends and again, of all the three films, this friendship rang the truest and strongest for me. THIS is a female buddy film in which you get to see how nurturing and accepting female friendships can be, especially in a world where women aren't valued enough. There is also a fourth female character who, although not a part of this trio and without as much screentime, has her own journey. There are many trials and tribulations that the women face and we see many other "Big Social Problems GAHHHHHH" in their lives and world but it is full of subtlety and at the same time, the film is also wild and vibrant.

       Leena Yadav had made two films before Parched. I faintly recall watching her debut film Shabd but I doubt it was anywhere as rich as her latest offering. Not just the acting but also the way it looked was gorgeous. Russel Carpenter, who shot Titanic, was the cinematographer. This film was also quite controversial because it has a nude sex scene which had leaked in porn sites here months ago and yet was censored upon its theatrical release. Such is India. I feel sad that it is not getting the love it deserves. People LOVE Pink but will probably ignore Parched because of the lack of big names in it. It is a truly wonderful little gem.



     There has been a lot of focus on female directed films recently, what with Marya E. Gate's A Year With Women Project and the 52 Films By Women pledge and so on. I have also pledged to watch 52 films by women this year even though I am lagging behind a bit, and have generally tried to become more curious about women-directed films. Normally I can sub-consciously understand the difference between a women-directed and a male-directed film but never has the contrast been as great for me as it has with these three movies.

      The first thing I did after watching Angry Indian Goddesses is to check if it was a man who wrote and directed it, and indeed it was. Of course I am not saying that men cannot write complex women. My favourite filmmakers include Woody Allen and Quentin Tarantino and my life begins and ends with The Hours. I cannot make a claim about Indian filmmakers because I am not as well-versed in Hindi films lately. Still, taking these three films into account, it does reveal something about the way men and women write female characters in a female-driven movie that is making some sort of a social commentary. The male writers and directors clearly seem focused on the "Big Social Problems GAHHHHHH" at hand, not really caring enough about if the female characters are realistic and human. They just draw an idea of what they think the modern, complex woman should look and act like as one can see from the Angry Indian Goddesses' poster's tagline- "angels, lovers, victims, killers, buddies... women" but just listing all these words doesn't necessarily change them into complicated, life-like beings. Again, not making a generalisation (but am, kinda) but since their characters are not well-written, the rest of their story also falters. Instead of tackling the obstacles through the characters and their setting and actions, they change the characterization and situations to best serve the matter that need to be shown (GAHHHHHH). The whole effect obviously is one that which feels very contrived and infuriating. I was angered by Pink because it made so many stupid story-telling choices. It even has the cringeworthiest of all cringeworthy moments where the North-Eastern girl actually announces in court that she gets harassed more because of her ethnicity.  Let's not even get started on Angry Indian Goddesses because I'll never stop then.


      Yadav on the other hand has devoted herself into realizing a film teeming with life and colour where the characters drive the plot. She wrote them with such care that I wanted to befriend them. I felt transported by this film. Sure, there are also some formulaic plot points in it but that almost doesn't matter in a film this vivid and lively with characters to match. These are flawed, sexy, funny women because they just are. It's not to serve a bigger goal the way it is in the cases of Angry Indian Goddesses and Pink. They don't make martyrs of themselves even though they too live under conditions that could be classified as "Big Social Problems GAHHHHHH" (I think I'm going to trademark this term).


       Basically, it's just a better film and women rule and men suck! I'm kidding of course but I do have some pretty strong feelings about all these films, evidently. They brought me out of my cocoon of laziness. I would strongly recommend Parched to everyone and you can also try Pink and Angry Indian Goddesses, the latter just to see about how terrible that final act is. Worst. Ever.


       Since I do not want this to end on such a negative note, I'd just like to say that it is always encouraging to see Indian filmmakers tell women's stories but the focus should always be on the women, on showing their varied and intricate lives because we cannot help but identify some part of ourselves with them and so it is always better to see them being more like us. 

I hope that makes some sense. 

GAHHHHHH!

PS. It's good to be back :)

Friday, 1 May 2015

Thoughts

This week's post has some really, seriously serious stuff and a lot of normal, dumb shit one expects from this blog. Enjoy, I guess.

1) So, last week was a pretty stressful week. Everyone knows by now what happened in Nepal. We felt the tremors of the original earthquake and many aftershocks later. That first tremor on the morning of the 25th was the strongest and longest tremor I have ever felt. It was almost funny at first- as my friend described it, it felt like we were surfing- but then it started to get scary. I live with my grandparents and at the time, it was only me, my grandmother and our maid in the apartment, which is on the 3rd floor of our elevator-less building. My grandma has a bad leg and at that point, everything I had ever read about what to do in an earthquake situation started going through my head. Thankfully, and I really mean that, nothing worse happened and we didn't have to take any measures. There was another rather strong tremor the next day and for about four days, I just permanently felt like I was at sea. Like every time I thought about tremors, I felt them. This is obviously nothing, rather minus nothing, compared to what the real victims of the Nepal earthquake went through. Watching the death toll rise every hour or so was terrifying too. It was just a strange feeling to have felt something, however slight, that caused so much destruction. I really don't want this to sound like I'm making this about me. Oh god, I hope I am not Hannah Horvath-ing this awful thing. I just really wanted to share this. It was something that I couldn't stop thinking about and I just wanted to put it in words.

2) That was the really, seriously serious stuff. Let's go revert back to what this blog is about. Harry Potter! Doctor Who! Ryan Gosling! Abs! MAN-BUTT! Okay, we're back.

3) I also gave the last of my college exams this week. So I am currently at that awkward not-an-undergraduate-not-really-a-graduate phase. I have some free time in my hands but I have to give a couple of entrance tests to qualify for post-graduate courses in May. Once I have selected a college, I will be living on my own for the first time in my life. I am really excited/anxious about that. And I will be learning film-making properly and I can start actually doing what I want to truly do in life (hopefully) :) Yeah, so that was an update about my life or whatever right now. How are YOU guys?

4) Xavier Dolan had announced that he's making The Death and Life of John F. Donovan with Jessica Chastain and Kit Harrington (who I have officially warmed up to) but before that, he's going to make Juste La Fin Du Monde or Only the End of the World which will star *cue drum-roll and fangirl screaming* Marion Cotillard, Lea Seydoux, Vincent Cassel, Gaspard Ulliel and Nathalie Baye. I am not that familiar with Baye's work but the other four- oh my gawd!!! Like not only am I a huge fan of their acting, but I swear I have had (or rather still do) crushes on all of them. I mean, holy shit, this film is going to look soooo beautiful! It's based on a play by Jean-Luc Lagarce about a dying writer who comes back to his family after 12 years (why is everything 12 years long now??) and I just know I am going to be destroyed by it but goddamn, I want it in my life! Dolan's only 26 and he's making friggin' 2 movies this year with certified stars and acting giants (and Harrington) and what the fuck is even my life?!

5) Obvious Child was one of my favourite films of last year and its director Gillian Robespierre is now making a show with its star Jenny Slate and Ari Graynor (who I have loved since Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist). Yayyyyy! It's been described as "two gutsy born-and-raised New Yorkers who discover each other in their 30s" and they then decide to go on a road trip after making a film together. I can't wait.

6) Speaking of comedic female duos, you guys must know about my crazy love for Broad City. Two of its writers, Lucia Aniello and Paul Downs (who plays the hilarious Trey on the show) are going to write an all-female spin-off of 21 Jump Street. I can only hope and pray that they get Abbi Jacobson and Ilana Wexler, aka my personal goddesses, to star as leads. As for the Jonah Hill and Channing Tatum characters, they are apparently going to be a part of the next Men In Black movie because this is some shared universe? Also, did you guys know that they're making another of those Dan Brown-Tom Hanks movies and it has Felicity Jones in it? I completely missed its announcement and I am baffled as to why it's even being made. Not even my undying love for Ewan McGregor could make me watch Angels and Demons.

7) Videos- I can't choose which form of objectification of the two Avengers' Chrises by Ellen DeGeneres on her show was better-

Okay, I can. It's Hemsworth (can you say life goal much?) but Evans is so cute!

8) Ava DuVernay got a Barbie doll made of her! That's soooo cool! Like, who even needs an Oscar when you have your own Barbie? This has actually become a life goal because I was OBSESSED with Barbies as a kid and I didn't even know this was a thing that was possible. Also, I really want the DuVernay Barbie but it's not in production and even if it was, it will never sell in India *sighs*.

9) Trailers- Legend looks fun and brutal and it has 2(!!) Tom Hardys. I also spotted Kingsman star Taron Egerton in it so I am definitely looking forward to it a lot. I forgot to post about the Black Mass trailer which also I liked. I can only hope that this is a return to form for Johnny Depp. I don't know about you guys but I think Irrational Man looks great. I adore both Joaquin Phoenix and Emma Stone and I like that both of their characters seem to be narrating. And now for something terrible- the Fifty Shades Darker teaser :X :X I mean, why?

10) Finally, as much as I like looking at Sam Heughan's ass, my true Outlander crush is Caitriona Balfe. Not only is she an amazing actress, she's absolutely stunning to look at. Some reviewer called her a brunette Cate Blanchett and I can see that. Can you?
Wowsers.


And that's it. Bye, guys. I am not Hannah Horvath!

Friday, 13 March 2015

Special Super Random Thoughts Post About Death and Disney

          Hi guys! Long time, no see etcetera.
 
          Okay so it's like 3:45 am here and I was in my bed trying to sleep but I couldn't because I was having my occasional thoughts about aging and mortality and about how I am going to age and then DIE one day and I was thinking of how I will be 70 years old in 2062 (if I don't DIE that is, duh) and then I thought about how Disney will still be announcing sequels then and now I am very confused about what to think/feel. I mean, does anyone else feel that Disney is going to be announcing sequels till the end of time? Isn't it weird/creepy?

         So yeah, I wanted to share that with you guys (I would have tweeted it but it's too long and did I mention it's 3:45 am here?).

         Also, since we're on the subject, here are my two cents of the Tim Burton's live-action Dumbo remake and Frozen 2:

1) Why, Tim Burton? Why?! Also dafuq, Disney? Dumbo is an extremely depressing and disturbing movie as it is and I can't even imagine the trainwreck this film will be. Tim Burton, you were meant for greater things!!!

2) I am not completely surprised that Frozen 2 is a thing but I swear, if it isn't about Elsa falling in love with her Disney princess, I am so not watching it! (Okay I am but still!)

        Sorry if this was a waste of your time, guys. Here's Chris Hemsworth's abs and also the rest of him to make it up :D



         I would also like to add that this blog is probably on hiatus till my exams get over in May (I may or may not post super random stuff like this so yeah, Idk). Byeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!

Monday, 12 January 2015

"I can't fucking believe I won." THOUGHTS ON THE 72ND GOLDEN GLOBE AWARDS

 

           Okay so usually, I'm all like "OMG Globes are everything" and blah di blah but I have to say that I'm a bit disappointed this year. We'll get to that soon. Also, happy 2015 everyone. This is an odd sort of profanity-filled post to start the new year with but whatevs. If Amy Adams can keep winning Best Actress Comedy awards for roles that aren't fucking funny, I can do this, right?

1) Let's begin. I woke up like 5 minutes before the show started (which starts at 6:30 am here, in case y'all thought I was some kind of a lazy sloth based on how I run this blog) and I missed what people wore at the red carpet. Thanks to Buzzfeed though, I was able to catch up and well, I didn't like most of it. White and disco silver were the trending colours. My favourite looks were Dakota Johnson, Emma Stone, Anna Kendrick and Tina Fey's sexy lady tux (which I couldn't get a better photo of, sorry!).


2) Among the men, there was Mr. Walking Sex himself aka Jamie Dornan, being all scruffy and, well, sexy. God bless Buzzfeed for posts like these.

Among others, I also thought Jake Gyllenhaal looked especially fine and I loved David Oyelowo's (nailed it!) sparkly suit.

3) Okay so the show starts. I missed like 20 seconds of Amy and Tina's last ever Globe monologue *sobs*. They were pretty good. Loved the Emma Stone "Big Eyes" bit, especially her reaction.

Also Joaquin Phoenix being hilarious.
Can "Oh hey Joaquin" become some sort of viral catchphrase now? Like the opposite of "Bye Felicia"? Make it happen, universe. Also, is it me or is Joaquin slowly turning into Michael Stuhlbarg. I love Stuhlbarg but can we have looking like his hotter self from before? I mean, he used to look like THIS once upon a time.

And then there was the Amal Clooney bit. I want to be her so bad. Like be really intelligent while also looking like a goddess on earth.

They also played "Would you rather" and it was completely on point. Tina Fey's insistence on choosing Chris Pine was amazing and in that moment, I too was Tina. Finally, there was the Bill Cosby joke which was okay, just a little too long.

4) The first presenters were Benedict Cumberbatch who "volunteered" to come on stage with Jennifer Aniston. Aniston was wearing a dress with a thigh gap a la Angelina Jolie in 2012 Oscars except not as classy. Their bit was just weird. But then JK Simmons won and praised his above average children so all was well.

5) Mr. Walking Sex and Dakota Johnson came to present something but I don't remember what 'cuz who cares? Look at them! They're both so hot. I'm super looking forward to Fifty Shades of Grey.

6) JLo and Jeremy Renner came to present. I have no clue what JLo was wearing though Renner did make a comment on her "globes" so that was, um, nice? Fargo and Billy Bob Thornton won awards in their respective categories which was awesome!! Love both! Up until that time, I thought no one will beat Thornton's succinct and controversy-proof thank you speech but I was wrong. Still, it was great.

7) I want Colin Firth and Cumberbatch to come in a film together. But only after Cumberbatch and Alan Rickman come in a film together. This has nothing to do with the Globes. Firth presented The Imitation Game. I know it's the spiritual successor of The King's Speech but TKS was still so much better. And *I* am saying that.

8) Then the awkward North Korean film critic (?) thing started and it just went on for too long. It's sad that the last Amy and Tina hosted show had to go out like this. Still, we got another Cumberbomb.

9) My favourite win of the whole award show which *almost* saves it in my eyes is Gina Rodriguz getting Best Actress Comedy for Jane the Virgin. She is soooooooooooooooooooo good in that show and the show itself is fantastic and her speech was so heartfelt and beautiful, it made me tear up.
Oh and Ruth Wilson got Best Actress Drama for The Affair and though I don't watch that, FUCK YEAH ALICE MORGAN!

10) Transparent won Best Comedy Series and that was great too. Jill Soloway wore an awesome suit and she dedicated the award to the trans community and Leelah Alcorn.

11) Selma won for Best Song and Common's speech reminded me again why it is such a powerful film. The Theory of Everything won for Best Score which, though beautiful, has nothing on Mica Levi and Ross and Reznor imo.

12) Matt Bomer won Best Supporting TV Actor. He's so ridiculously good-looking. He's like a Mattel doll if Mattel made dolls inspired by Old Hollywood stars.
The second one's for Sati.

13) And from there, everything began to go downhill. Best Actress Comedy, an award that in a sensible and just world would have been won by Jenny Slate, went to Amy Adams for Big Eyes. I haven't seen Big Eyes, nor do I want to. The trailers make it obvious that Adam's role in this is as hilarious as it was in American Hustle last year. I'm going to go ahead and assume that Julianne Moore taking a dump in Maps to the Stars is funnier than anything Adams does in Big Eyes. Even Adams was not expecting it and her speech was terrible.

14) The Lego Movie didn't win Best Animated Feature which was sad. I love How to Train Your Dragon 2 but it's not even close to the brilliance of The Lego Movie.

15) Jared Leto came next with his stupid hair and his stupid beard and started talking. Every time Jared Leto talks, a fairy somewhere groans so loudly out of disgust that it falls down dead.
That was my favourite tweet re: Globes. Anyways, he presented Best Supporting Actress to Patricia Arquette who was all awesome and nerdy and she talked about single moms and about Meryl Streep and it was just lovely. Arquette for president!

16) Bill Hader and Kristen Wiig were great!! I think they should be the next Globe hosts. They presented Best Screenplay to Birdman which I didn't see coming at all. I loved Birdman but it's got nothing on Gone Girl.

17) Among the other television awards, Jeffrey Tambor, Maggie Gyllenhaal, Kevin Spacey and that chick from Downton Abbey won. Tambor was great. They kept showing Jake during Maggie's speech so that was fabulous and her speech was too. She talked about how there are roles depicting complicated women out there nowadays and how that is a good thing. Spacey's speech was another excellent one. He dropped the f-bomb but then went on to say a beautiful anecdote about keep wanting to do better and made me tear up AGAIN! Screw these talented actors and their heartfelt speeches. Also this was Spacey's first Globe win which is insane.

18) Mommy was not nominated for Best Foreign Film so I wasn't really paying attention to it but apparently Ida didn't win so yaay!

19) One of my favourite things about the Globes used to be how they always get interesting presenters, from Shahrukh Khan to the real Philomena but this year they got Katherine Heigl. Just going to leave that here.

20) George Clooney got the Cecil B. DeMille Award. It was all good. I really liked the cilp they played. I had honestly forgotten how many superb movies he has come in. Oh and they showed Out of Sight clip but not the bathtub scene one, therefore missing a huge chance for getting a collective orgasm from the crowd and the viewers. But they did show Ryan Gosling so it balanced out. Clooney's speech was nice and he was all lovey-dovey towards Amal because who wouldn't be? Have you seen her?!

21) Linklater won Best Director which was awesome! Yes, I wanted Fincher to win more but it's okay. Linklater is one of the greatest filmmakers EVER and it's gladdening to see him finally get the recognition he deserves.
They've adopted him, haven't they? 

21) Chris Pratt and Anna Faris everyone.
#relationshipgoals

22) Michael Keaton won Best Actor Comedy and got all choked up when thanking his son. It was v. sweet. I still love Fiennes more but then The Grand Budapest Hotel won Best Film Comedy so I was happy overall. That was the first time I've heard Wes Anderson give a speech and it was appropriately quirky and funny.

23) Then the awards announcer dude was called the Best Film Drama the biggest award of the night, pissing me off YET AGAIN! Why do they always do that? Why the hierarchy? Have you seen the movies in Comedy this year? Come on, man.

24) At some point, Catherine Zeta-Jones had come to present something or the other and her dress looked really familiar to me. This is why:
I'll never be able to look at her, or the emoji, the same way again.

25) Then for Best Actress and Actor Drama, Globes fucked everything up. Moore got Actress. I love Moore, I really do, and I admit that I haven't watched Still Alice yet, but is there is no way she's better in a straightforward role like that than Rosamund Pike in Gone Girl. They could have easily given her Best Actress Comedy and awarded Pike for Drama. Fools! And then Redmayne won Best Actor Drama which was again idiotic as hell. Jake was freaking amazing in Nightcrawler. He too underwent a physical transformation for his role but it was to help with the emotional side of it, unlike Redmayne's who is *only* getting rewarded for the physical thing. Felicity Jones was the emotional heart of The Theory of Everything and the only one doing really awards-worthy work there. Redmayne is adorable as hell but I'm so disappointed in Globes.

26) Finally though, Globes did try to salvage the mess and awarded Boyhood Best Film Drama. Phew! I know it's fun to have some uncertainty and boring to have a clear-cut forerunner but we shouldn't begrudge an achievement like Boyhood for that, which works not because of the 12 years put into it but because of the heart put into it.


And that is it. I hope you enjoyed whatever this was. I'm going to leave you guys with a picture of hot George Clooney in a bathtub because unlike the Globes, I actually give people what they deserve (and we ALL deserve this). 
Byeeeee!

Wednesday, 5 March 2014

"The one and only, Adele Dazeem!" - Random thoughts on Oscars

 
           We all know who won and who lost and who ate the pizza. Therefore, doing a proper recap is pointless. However, I have some Oscar-related thoughts and I'd like to share them. Simply put, here's what I liked and didn't like about the Oscars:

Liked/Loved-
1) Lupita's princess dress was just gorgeous. It makes me want to wear a big flowy gown myself and just twirl around.
2) Among other fashion-related stuff, I liked Kristin Chenoweth's and Karen O's outfits, Emma Watson's hairdo and Naomi Watts' necklace.
3) Coming to speeches, there were a few that stood out. Lupita's was the most heartfelt and inspirational. "It doesn't escape me for one moment that so much joy in my life is thanks to so much pain in someone else's"- this was an incredibly powerful and perceptive sentence and I have been thinking about it ever since. All these biopics we watch, most of them are based around someone's struggle and Patsey definitely had one of the hardest lives ever. We see numerous actors thank and pay tribute to the people they play or their hardships but I don't think anyone has put it the way Lupita did. Also, the way she ended it-

4)The other speeches I liked were Cate Blanchett's "The world is round, people!" and "Hashtag: Suck it" badass woman power declaration, Darlene Love's acceptance ballad, the "Let It Go" duo with their perfectly rhimy speech, the short documentary winners' heartfelt tribute to the woman who was their subject, and all winners whose hands shook while they were on the stage.
5) Lupita, Meryl and Amy dancing with Pharrell. Goddesses.

6) That selfie.

7) And all its subsequent parodies.

8) Lupita Nyong'o's brother who is my new role model.
9) The other selfie where Benedict Cumberbatch just popped up from the back.

10) Cumberbatch photobombing U2. Not once, but twice. #winneratOscars

11) Cumberbatch crying during Lupita's speech.
12) Lupita photobombing Jared Leto.
13) Lupita and JLaw fake-fighting.

14) The fact that JLaw looked happier than Lupita when Lupita won. Bullet dodged.
15) Brad Pitt handing out plates.

16) ALL the pizza photos.
17) Kevin Spacey presenting.
18) Bill Murray standing up after Darlene Love sang.
19) The "Moon Song" performance and the fact that Ezra Koenig's socks matched Karen O's dress.

20) "Possibility number 1: 12 Years A Slave wins Best Picture. Possibility number 2: You're all racists. And now welcome our first white presenter, Anne Hathaway!" #burn
21) Steve McQueen jumping in the air after they won Best Picture. I love this so much. As much as people hate on the Oscars, and they are definitely not decisive word on what is best or not, even someone as unconventional as McQueen was overjoyed at his film getting the award because it is a recognition of efforts and that's always a good and happy thing.

22) The fact that 2 of the Fight Club cast members now have Oscars.
23) Alfonso Cuaron and Emmanuel Lubezki- Oscar winners. FUCK YEAH!
24) Actually, just the fact that Gravity won Best Editing. That movie is so clever with its cuts. I am super impressed with the Academy for this.
25) Daniel Day-Lewis. Such a puppy.

Sidenote: Meryl Streep gave DDL his Oscar last year. Imagine if she had won this year. Actually, imagine if they keep winning alternate years, giving each other Oscars for all eternity because true artists never die and time is a flat circle and ZOMG!

26) Lupita Nyong'o's lip balm.
27) I will talk about the montages later but just the fact that the last "heroes" montage included Indiana Jones, Beasts of the Southern Wild, Speed, The Princess Bride, Independence Day (speech and all), Harry Potter (more on that later too), Aliens, Back to the Future and Air Force One.
28) Spike Jonze winning Best Original Screenplay.

29) And Spike Jonze.

30) SPIKE JONZE!!!!!!!!

31) I love you, Spike Jonze. Please marry me.
32) The fact that I later dreamt that Joaquin Phoenix was hosting the Oscars. I don't remember more than that. Sorry.
33) Leo lost and that sucks but seriously though, WoWS is such a IDGAF movie that I can't feel that bad. But all the "Poor Leo" memes have been hilarious. This one's my fav-

34) Matthew McConaughey was very sweet when he presented with Kim Novak. She was definitely having some problems and he was very gracious.
35) Ditto for Angelina Jolie.
36) Ellen making all of the JLaw falling jokes, so that we didn't have to. Chill humans. We've all done stupid things when drunk (more on this later too though).
37) Ellen in Glinda's costume.

38) Ellen in general.
39) Nicholas Hoult. Dawwwwwwww.

40) Not playing most of the winners off.
41) That American Hustle didn't win anything. MUAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!

42) I laughed like hell in the Bradley Cooper nomination clip though. Best in show.
43) And my absolute favourite thing that happened at the Oscars- the coming together of Joseph Gordon-Levitt and Emma Watson. Such a perfect unison of good looks, charm and talent. Of course, I want them to get married now, but for the time being I will be totally happy with both of them starring in a romcom together. Preferably something set in the 1st half of the 20th century and screwball-y. You can see it, right? It can be all witty and stuff. DanRad can be there too. Remember when he and JGL danced at last year's Oscars? It's all perfect.


Disliked/hated-
1) The whole "heroes" theme. I happened to like Pink's performance but it was so unnecessary, as were the montages. No one bloody tunes in to watch the Oscars because of whatever theme they decide to go with. That's just silly and confusing and distracting.
2) Matthew McConaughey and Jared Leto's white tuxedos. They looked like really good-looking waiters, but waiters nonetheless.
3) Harrison Ford. What happened, Indy?
4) Jim Carrey. It was super awkward to watch.
5) Most of the intros were awkward to watch. ADELE DAZEEM!!!!!!

6) Jared Leto's hair but that's like one of the things I hate most in the world. Well, not the hair but the hair on him. Annoyances!
7) I didn't listen to U2. BOTH times I watched the ceremony. I can't. Nope.
8) Also, Bette Midler singing "Wind Beneath My Wings". That song is one of the many we were made to sing throughout school and I will always feel resentful towards it. And it wasn't a very good performance either.
9) Jennifer Lawrence was a bit mental yesterday. When she came on stage to give Best Actor and randomly started screaming at the crowd- not funny, JLaw. Such a misfire.
10) Speaking of, the entire Jimmy Kimmel thing during the red carpet- what the fuck was that? If you must know, I was eating salsa at like 6:30 in the morning while watching the show. Problem?
11) Chris Hemsworth's wife was super preggers. The Loki in me kind of wanted her to give birth then though, just to see how people would react.
12) Where was Hiddles? Why was he not there? You must rectify this next year, Oscars.
13) Back to the "heroes" thing- why the fuck would you put the new Spider-Man and Superman only? They are barely heroic.
14) Also, I kind of hate it when anything Harry Potter-related is used during the Oscars. You had your chance, bastards. Avada kedavra!
15) The Great Beauty winning Best Foreign Film. Boo you pretentious whores.
16) I mean Mads was sitting there, razor-sharp cheekbones and everything. He could have come up if The Hunt had won. Dumasses.
17) The constant standing ovations. They just weren't cool anymore.
18) Matthew McConaughey's speech was actually kind of terrible. I listened to it twice to make sure. He should have just said "Alright alright alright" and left.
19) Those Oscar statuette shaped bauble thingies at the back. Terrifying! I'm surprised drunk JLaw didn't fight one of them.
20) In totes agreement with all who are angry at Oscars not including honorary Oscars in the main ceremony. Angelina Jolie's speech for that was one of the most beautiful things ever.
21) That I should really get off the net while the ceremony is going on. I missed a lot the first time tweeting and chatting with friends. Also that the whole Twitter shutting down thing made me panic a tad too much.
22) My absolute least-favourite thing about these Oscars- just how incredibly predictable and boring the winners ended up being. There were people on my Facebook page who have barely watched any of the movies but were announcing how they did with the predictions because they had obviously read about it in 150000 sites already. I really want Oscars to change its airdate. We need some excitement, come on! Nothing against the winners, just that an upset or two is always fun.

         And that's it. As you can see, I was quite happy with the ceremony in general. Let's end this with what has become the catchphrase of this award season. See you next year, O sweet headache-inducing Oscars.