The One Where I List Men With Hot Beards Because Of Reasons

        So I'm going to preface this post by saying that this has nothing to do with films or TV or things that aren't hot, bearded actors. It's just a random post that I have made for my satisfaction and it's dedicated to my friend Anna. 

        If you guys follow us on Twitter, you would have come across the almost daily conversations between us about attractive, male actors, 'cuz that's how we roll. Buzzfeed made an idiotic list a few weeks back and Anna suggested I should make something in response to it and this is it- equally idiotic but more accurate imo. 

         So the first 20 actors here look infinitely better with some sort of beardy-scruffy-stachey (actual term that exists) thing going on and I have photographic evidence to prove it!

Chris Evans

This whole list is because Buzzfeed had the balls to put him in that list. LIKE ARE YOU BLIND, BUZZFEED?! (I realize that Buzzfeed is not an actual person but come on!!)

Jamie Dornan

As awful as Fifty Shades of Grey was, my biggest issue with it was that Chistian Grey was clean-shaven (yeah okay, I have issues. Whatevs). I mean, half of Dornan's sex appeal lies in his beard.

Chris Pine

The man who single-handedly/beardedly started my obsession with hot beards. #scruffygod

Ryan Gosling

I find every Ryan Gosling hot- even the one in Lars and the Real Girl or when he's balding in Blue Valentine- but the hottest Gosling is scruffy Gosling,

Michiel Huisman

I don't know how else to describe it but I find his beard romantic. I mean, he's good-looking or whatever clean-shaven but with a beard, it makes me think of being whisked away on a horse

Tom Hardy

Hardy himself said that he looks cuter with a beard. I would go with hotter/sexier/everythinger but yeah, okay.

James McAvoy

Right?

Jake Gyllenhaal

He was originally on the other list but no, he looks better with a scruff.

Idris Elba

Classic example.

Daniel Radcliffe

I look at the first one and I go "Awww." I look at the second one and I'm like "DAYUM!"

Mark Ruffalo

Classic example #2.

Chris Hemsworth

The second one looks like he could be the sexiest man alive. The first one, not so much.

Jean Dujardin

Sexy Frenchman beard.

Chris Pratt

Yes, all the Chrises are in this list.

Ranbir Kapoor

He was on the other list too but again, he fits better here.

Michael B. Jordan

I think he looks kinda terrible as Johnny Storm tbh. So much cuter with facial hair.

Hugh Dancy

He just looks like such a child in the first picture.

Steve Carell

I realized in the middle of award season how attractive Carell looks with a scruff. Wit and scruff, amirite ladies?

Ben Affleck

No, I don't really find Ben Affleck hot but the beard hides his stupid butt chin! It makes all the difference in the world.

Ranvir Singh

Ew I feel gross just including him but in spite of myself, I am attracted to the second picture. Ew ew ew!

       And now for 5 actors who are equally hot no matter what. Bastards.

Michael Fassbender

He is never not hot.

Vincent Cassel

He was in the first list originally but then I rewatched Black Swan and goddamnit, this man can get it! Also, a bit of Lea Seydoux for additional hotness!

Henry Cavill

He's easily one of the most beautiful men on this earth, facial hair or no facial hair.

Tom Hiddleston

I can't choose.

Benedict Cumberbatch

Nope.

AND I'm done! Please don't unfollow me because of my shallowness!!

BLACK SWAN

      Now in order to review Darren Aronofsky's Black Swan, I must talk about four things- its trailer, its posters, its cast and the film itself.

1) The Trailer

      The official trailer of Black Swan is one of the best ever. I remember seeing it for the first time and being absolutely mesmerised. It does everything a trailer should do- look good, create interest, leave the viewer wanting more, leave the viewer wanting to watch the film and also become unforgettable. There are barely any trailers that I've seen, not only this year but ever that match up to the beauty and the mystery of Black Swan's trailer.

2) The Posters

        The first time I found out about this movie was through a poster in my Tumblr dashboard. The colours of white, red and black stood out immediately. This is very important because the whole film is about these colours. The virginal white Nina has to become the visceral black swan and this transformation is assisted by deadly red blood. It's quite fantastic.

3) The cast



      Natalie Portman delivers the performance of a lifetime in Black Swan. Her Nina is this beautiful, scared, ephemeral, pure woman who has to embrace her darker side. She is a top-class ballerina who, after a lifetime of dedicated perfectionism, gets the lead in her ballet company's new production of Swan Lake. However she is only ideal for the white swan side, and has trouble embracing the black swan side of her character. Add to that she is being constantly ridiculed and seduced by director Thomas Leroy (Vincent Cassel), is facing competition from free-spirited Lily (Mila Kunis), and her overprotective mother Erica (Barbara Hershey). All this soon starts to affect her mind and her grip on reality as the story of Swan Lake takes over her life. Portman portrays all aspects of Nina- her reservations, her desires, her fears, her insanity, her malevolence; such that her last line "I was perfect" becomes a fact. And a damn good one at that. Her hard work into getting into the shape and mindset of a professional ballerina reminds me of Adrien Brody in The Pianist, who lost a great amount of weight and learned to play Chopin and hence won the Oscar for his portrayal of Wladyslaw Szpilman.

        The next best role was that of Barbara Hershey as the mother/the Queen. She channeled Margaret White and a certain Mrs. Bates for this role. Even a bit of Michele Pfeiffer from White Oleander. She was creepy as hell. She tries to control Nina's life to the extreme and treats her as a little girl, her "sweet girl"  so much so that she even dresses her, and cuts her nails and regulates her going in and out. Her paintings are just as weird, and the fact that she cries while she paints them does help her creep factor quite a bit. She is a failed ballerina, and despite the fake frigid smile on her face while wishing good luck, she wants Nina to be one too. It's quite a brilliant and chilling performance.

       Vincent Cassel is a sexgod and his Thomas is one too. I love the way he seduces Nina to bring out the black swan in her. He is the only one who sees this side of her, and if it wasn't for his advances, the quite virtuous Nina would not have broken into the new characater, or side. Mila Kunis is very good too. She, like Portman, practiced for months before to become a ballerina onscreen. She embodies the black swan in her role, and the stark contrast to Nina is commendable. Their sexual "encounter" is very graphic, but quite necessary. Winona Ryder is also there as the ex-queen ballerina Beth, who gets replaced by Nina. I love Winona Ryder to bits and hope that this excellent albeit tiny role would get her into the game again.

4) The Film

       Oh what a film! Aronofsky has delivered a cinematic melodramatic gem that will be loved for many many years to come. The entire concept, of taking a overly-secured ballerina, with a prolonged childhood and mixing in it the elixir of Swan Lake...genius!! It is visually stunning masterpiece. Everything from the beauty of ballerinas and their outfits, to the effects that show Nina's degarding mind is excellent. The music of Tchaikovsky adds immensely to the drama and the splendour of the film. The themes of light and dark, of sexuality and parental control, of control and release, of love and lust, of life and death is what the film consists of. All the characters show this, but especially Nina. I personally thought the ending was brilliant, but it still confused me a bit. As did the whole film. I can't help it but a part of me thinks that all of it was Nina's imagination, or maybe that she was Beth herself. It raises many questions on psychology, most importantly on those peole who have been performers all their lives and how that affects them. The details are minute and expertly put. The choreography is just beautiful and touching and shocking.

      This film hits you over and over again, but in a good way. Aronofsky can show the degradation of human mind expertly, like how he did in Requiem for a Dream, but he has really polished his craft in this film.

      Oscar predictions- I think Natalie Portman has the the Best Actress Oscar in the bag. The film, Aronofsky, score, editting, costume and Hershey for Supporting Actress should get nominated.

Silence is the most powerful scream

Video- Classic Silent Types

WATCH THIS!!
NYTimes made 14 actors act out 14 silent movie types in segments of 1 minute each. The only silent movies I've ever seen are Charlie Chaplin's and Laurel and Hardy's. So I cannot say which film or which actor the actors in the video are portraying. Hence I decided to give each segment my own name, just based on the story being told.

1) Javier Bardem- Bittersweet Symphony
2) James Franco- Mirror Mirror on the Wall, who's the Dreamiest of them All?
3) Natalie Portman- The Drama Queen/Too Gorgeous for Her Own Good
4) Jesse Eisenberg- I'm CEO Bitch!
5) Chloe Mortez- Anger Management
6) Matt Damon- Read the Curse Words off My Lips
7) Michael Douglas- The Chair/ The Boss
8) Jennifer Lawrence- Thriller/ Rape in the Valley
9) Noomi Rapace- Total Effect (everything together makes the shot work- the singing, her earing, the cigarette, the perfectly polished nails, the dazzling microphone)
10) Vincent Cassel- Happy Feet/Fly Me to the Moon
11) Anthony Mackie- Run Forrest Run!
12) Robert Duvall- Gilette/ Shaving for Dummies
13) Lesley Manville- Telephone Conversation/ Wrong Number
14) Tilda Swinton- Angels with Dirty Faces/ A Prayer


My absolute favourites have to be Natalie Portman, Noomi Rapace, Vincent Cassel and Tilda Swinton. I was very happy that younger actors like Jesse Eisenberg, Chloe Mortez and Jennifer Lawrence got a chance too. Vincent Cassel is bloody sexy. And Tilda Swinton is an absolute Goddess, I love her to bits.