Thursday 28 May 2015

Thoughts

1) Hi guys? Wassup blah blah blah, cutting right to the chase here- TILDA SWINTON JUST JOINED THE DOCTOR STRANGE MOVIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OMG YOU GUYS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And this is the movie which has Benedict Cumberbatch playing the lead. This is already the most alien-looking cast of all time. Swinton is going to play, get this, a Tibetan mystic called the Ancient One who mentors Strange (is that his real name?). I mean, duh! Also, it seems that this character was male in the comic but like why would you cast some man when you can get Tilda? I knew there was a reason I loved MCU. Now all I really, really, *really* need is for Loki to somehow find his way into this film.

2) Video- I didn't get to watch this until today and I actually cried laughing. I am starting to really like Kit Harrington, the weirdo sketch dude, now.
Everyone is great in it but I especially loved Harrington, Leslie, Rheon and Clarke. And, man, does Peter Dinklage have charisma!

3) Trailers- The Crimson Peak trailer nearly killed me. This film is going to be so fucking awesome. And goodness gracious, Hiddles in THAT scene *fans herself*. The Point Break remake looks sooo meh. The main guy is even more expressionless than Keanu Reeves (who seriously works his expressionless-ness). Also, why anyone would remake Point Break when Hot Fuzz exists is beyond me. I got teary-eyed just watching Diary of a Teenage Girl. I just know that I will love it. The End of the Tour looks pretty good too. I haven't read any of David Foster Wallace's books but I aim to before watching the movie. Love the cast. Speaking of, I thought the Steve Jobs trailer was fairly decent and I don't know how but I missed the announcement that Kate Winslet is in it. It feels like forever since I've seen her in anything. Pan looks pretty. That's it, really. All I could think of during The Maze Runner: The Scorch Trials trailer was how Aiden Gillen has transformed into Littlefinger and he seems to be that character in everything he does. But also, heyyyyy Dylan O'Brien! Missed you and your incredible arms #objectifyallmen. I am dying to watch Macbeth now and its clips are just fueling that fire. God, this movie is going to be amazeballs. Cooties looks hilarious. I generally don't like it when kids die in movies but hey, zombie children sound terrifying. The A Very Murray Christmas trailer has a lot of Bill Murray in it so that's, um, fair. Are you guys watching the Hannibal teasers? This is only one of them but I love all the happy music they're playing in them. I so can't wait for that show. Finally, Scream Queens kind of makes me think of Drop Dead Gorgeous and I love that. Emma Roberts can play such a great, posh bitch.

4) Finally, someone needs to release footage of the interactions between these two, in a non-creepy way of course-
And to put this into perspective-
Now I want both of them to make a movie together. Not just that, seeing how much Dolan hung out with Sienna Miller during the festival, I want him to meet Tom Sturridge (Miller's baby-daddy and my 16 year old-self's dream man) and put him in his movies because Sturridge is practically custom-made to be in them.

      Yes, this was random. I honestly didn't care for any other news items that much. Okay byeeeeeeeeeeeee!

Monday 25 May 2015

Mini Reviews- Blind Spot Edition




      Yes, I know I am terrible. All I can say is that it is actually a real shame that I haven't been able to write about (or even watch) my Blind spots in the past three months because I had a lot to say about them (or for at least three of them). Enjoy, I guess.



February- A Matter of Life and Death (Dir: Michael Powell and Emeric Pressburger, 1947)

Basic plot: Before his plane crashes, British Air Force pilot Peter Carter contacts an American radio operator June and talks to her for a few minutes. This crash was meant to take his life but Conductor 71, who was supposed to take him to the "Other World", missed him due to a fog and Peter washes up on the shore where June finds him and they fall in love. This causes a great deal of confusion in the "Other World" and they try to get Peter back but he refuses because he now has a reason to live for. His "hallucinations" get treated by a friend of June's, Dr. Reeves, who becomes Peter's attorney in the appeal for his life.

          Oh I loved this film! I wanted to write about it on Valentine's Day but yeah, that didn't really happen. I love movies in which something as conceptual as love being stronger than death is explored not only in terms of drama but intellectually as well. It was beautiful to look at- the "Other World" was black and white, with huge halls and never-ending stairs and colossal statues, and earth was in Technicolour and as vibrant as other Powell-Pressburger films. I just felt so moved while watching it. The film also explores trauma suffered by soldiers and it keeps the visions Peter has ambiguous so we don't actually know if they happened or not. I think it depends on the person watching and I like to believe that they weren't simply hallucinations of a damaged mind but something real- that a person's soul matters so much that there is a humongous trial held for it and that a genuine tear born out of love can save that very soul.

          It wasn't perfect however. For most of its running time, I was sure that I will put this film in my top 100 but then something really odd happened. During the trial, there is a huge argument about which country is greater- England or USA. I can see how this would have worked when the film came out but it just made it tedious to watch now. It's the only thing in the film that makes it seem dated and it's especially jarring because everything else about it is so timeless.

           Coming to the actors, I thought David Niven as Peter and Roger Livesey as Dr. Reeves were both the best. I saw Tilda Swinton of all people praise Livesey in an interview a few months ago and I can see why. He was really wonderful in the movie. 

           This is my third Powell-Pressburger film and it's my favourite so far. 



March- O Brother, Where Art Thou? (Dir: Joel Coen and Ethan Coen, 2000)

Basic plot- Based on Homer's The Odyssey, the film follows three escaped convicts in 1930s Mississippi who try to find their hidden treasure and in their journey, they record a hit song, meet a bank robber, have one of them turned into a toad, save their black friend from a KKK meeting, reunite another one of them with his family, and stay out of the clutches of a relentless devil-like policeman who is after them.

           While I wouldn't call it a dud exactly, this is my least favourite Blind spot entry so far. Maybe it's due to that fact that I haven't read The Odyssey, or watched Sullivan's Travels (which is another of its inspirations), or how much I hate country music, or probably a combination of all of this that made the film kind of a blah watch for me. This film is more or less a musical so the songs played a huge part in it and also in how I felt about it. Sure, it was funny seeing George Clooney sing and dance, or just the faces that John Turturro makes, but it wasn't enough. I just didn't care for it.

           One thing I will say is that the film is absolutely gorgeous to look at and even though I didn't appreciate the story, I thought it was very well-made.

            The Coen brothers are a sort of hit and miss for me. I do however tend to like their films more upon a rewatch and that might happen with O Brother Where Art Thou? in the future, though I have a feeling that the country music is going to be a real obstacle even then.



April- Fire (Dir: Deepa Mehta, 1996)

Basic plot- For 13 years, Radha has lived with a husband who has purged desire from his life, calling it the root of evil. His younger brother, who is in love with someone else, is forced to marry Sita, a free-spirited girl who wants love but finds none in her marriage. Living together in a house, neglected by their husbands, Radha and Sita find love and desire in each other.

          While watching this film, all I could think of was the Whitman quote Robin Williams' character quotes in Dead Poets Society: "most men live lives of quite desperation." Watching it, I could see that most women, especially those bound in heavily patriarchal and tradition-filled communities like those in India, really do live lives of quite desperation. But to be fair, I feel like each and every character in this movie was restricted in their own way. It's just that Radha and Sita, played so wonderfully by Shabana Azmi and Nandita Basu respectively, had their restrictions put upon them and they finally rebelled. I like how the film slowly questions the ways women are oppressed in Indian societies, through religion, traditions and patriarchy. A woman's desire seems bound to that of her husband and the film shows how that is not true and that to desire for things is what living actually is.

            Again, it is not a perfect film. I had never watched an Indian lesbian drama. In fact, I thought of it more as a love story than a lesbian story, sort of like Brokeback Mountain was when it came to men. This is because, as many gay activists pointed out, to see it simply as a lesbian story makes it appear like lesbianism is caused due to marital neglect by women's husbands, which gives out a terrible message. For me personally, it was odd watching all of them converse in English because of the setting. Also, I thought that the music in the sex scenes was something out of one of those tantric porn videos which made them kind of pervy.

            I wanted to watch a film directed by a woman for my Blind spot series. This is the first film by Deepa Mehta that I have watched and I am definitely keeping an eye out for her. I like the way she mixed the Indian culture, often showing us the stories that birthed it, and the way it has Westernized. I hope more people make movies like this.



May- All That Jazz (Dir: Bob Fosse, 1979)

Basic plot- Joe Gideon, a musical theatre director and choreographer, lives a life of excess- whether it is his smoking, his women, his medication or his work. Starting everyday with an "It's showtime!", jazz hands and all, he immerses himself in this elaborate life, creating a huge musical and editing a film on a stand up, until this excess catches up with him.

         There are many things to love in this film. Obviously, there are the musical aspects. I could see how this film gave rise to things like Chicago- where the musical elements are a sort of commentary on someone's life. In this case it's Gideon, whether it is his beginnings, his illness, the five stages of grief or his end. The songs are from different genres, the set-ups are spectacular and they all look great. There is also the musical Gideon is working on and oh my god, this film had the sexiest musical number I have ever seen. "Take Off With Us" turns into basically an orgy and it is completely amazing. The other musical numbers are fantastic too but this one is sticking with me forever.

         Another reason I loved this film was Roy Schneider. I never, ever, ever, ever thought he could do a role like this. He was sexy and mean and cool and conflicted and damaged and cocky- gaahhh, so good! I mean, he was quite an asshole but he still managed to make him heartbreaking. Such an inspired casting choice.

         The film is based on Fosse's own life and though occasionally it is a bit indulgent, I like it when filmmakers reflect on their own experiences through their art. I did think that Cabaret, the only other film of his that I have seen, had a better story and a perfectly matched style, but this was more ambitious and, obviously, I respect that. I can also see myself liking it more and more as time goes by.

Friday 8 May 2015

The Months that were February, March and April

          Welcome to another unnecessarily massive post because I was too lazy/busy with stupid exams to do one each month! All I want to say is that I watched an obscene amount of TV for someone giving her final college exams.


Firsts:
1) Beyond the Lights- I really liked it. It could've been totally cliched but it felt very raw and real.
2) The Disappearance of Eleanor Rigby: Him- God, James McAvoy is so underrated.
3) The Disappearance of Eleanor Rigby: Her- The best one and I really liked this order.
4) The Voices- It's kind of quirky but then it gets too depressing. Ryan Reynools is really good.
5) Chariots of Fire- I liked it a lot, surprisingly. I'm not one for sports movies generally.
6) Ordinary People- I really liked it although it's annoying that Timothy Hutton got an Oscar for this role and Logan Lerman got nothing whatsoever for Perks of Being a Wallflower.
7) Bananas- Super fun.
8) The Liability- Watched it for Jack O'Connell. It was pretty okay.
9) Roy- Worst 2015 movie so far.
10) Spanking the Monkey- Cannot believe that David O'Russell made this. Loved it.
11) A Matter of Life and Death- This was my February Blind spot which I didn't write on... yet. I loved it.
12) In the Heat of the Night- I don't think it's aged very well even though its message still applies, sadly.
13) Fifty Shades of Grey- Unintentionally hilarious. Johnson's pretty decent.
14) 3 Women- I didn't know this was going to be so surreal.
15) Wild Tales- Awesome. Best kind of humour ever.
16) Kingsman: The Secret Service- So much fun! The weird princess bit at the end notwithstanding, it's my favourite 2015 film so far.
17) Ugly- So unnecessarily bleak.
18) Charade- Fun!
19) Zero Motivation- I loved it. More films like this, please.
20) The United States of Leland- It was kind of terrible. Not all Gosling movies are good :/
21) The DUFF- I liked it a lot. Mae Whitman rules!
22) Romy and Michele's High School Reunion- I don't know why it took me so long to watch it. It's fucking brilliant!
23) All Good Things- All the talk about The Jinx got me to check it out. Both the Gos and Kirsten Dunst were v. good.
24) Focus- The leads were great. The film, not so much.
25) Cinderella- Absolutely lovely.
26) Thirteen- Wowsers, that was dark.
27) A Girl Walks Home Alone At Night- It got a bit slow in parts but I really liked it. Totes dressing up as the Girl at some costume party.
28) Office Space- Meh.
29) Dum Laga Ke Haisha- A really sweet and simple Bollywood film.
30) Mad Max- It's like a lame origin story.
31) Mad Max: Road Warrior- THIS IS WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT! SO GOOOOD!
32) The Cook, the Thief, His Wife & Her Lover- I don't know why but I thought this was going to be a "light" comedy. Yikes!
33) Step Brothers- Laughed a lot.
34) It Follows- It wasn't that scary. I actually went with my dad and he fell asleep during the movie and he hated it. I liked it, especially the music and the way it's shot.
35) Fast and Furious 7- It's fun as long as no one talks.
36) A History of Violence- I've watched it in parts but never completely. Really good.
37) O Brother Where Art Thou?- I'm not the biggest fan of country music so that got a bit annoying but I liked it.
38) The Avengers: Age of Ultron- First day, first show! I was going to review it as soon as I came back home but my brother forbade me till he had watched it and now I kinda don't want to anymore... I still might but in short, I liked it a lot but it had issues.
39) Adult Beginners- I thought it was like a lesser The Skeleton Twins.
40) Lost River- Weird as fuck but not completely terrible. Never going to forget Ben Mendehlson dancing ever.


Rewatched:
1) Stoker- Margaret went Goode crazy and so I had to rewatch this *fans herself*
2) Run Lola Run- For our 90s episode. Still one of the craziest, coolest films I have ever seen.
3) La Haine- 90s episode. Cute, adorable Nino Quincampoix from Amelie made this. Like WOAH!!
4) Can’t Hardly Wait- 90s episode. Fun!
5) Election- Tracy Flick is such a fascinating character. I kinda hate her but I also have mad respect for how passionate she is.
6) Casablanca- Valentine's Day tradition.
7) Bridget Jones’ Diary- Ditto.
8) Chungking Express- New addition to Valentine's Day tradition.
9) The Breakfast Club- For it's 30th anniversary. I'm so scared that one day I will start identifying with Vernon :/
10) Kill Bill vol. 1- It's been too long since I had watched this. I should make a Withrow-esque "__ Things I Love About Kill Bill that No One Talks About" list because god, I adore this film.
11) Kill Bill vol. 2- Same.
12) Captain America: First Avenger- After watching Agent Carter, I got really thirsty for my favourite Avenger (if we don't count Peggy Carter herself)
13) The Avengers- See.
14) Captain America: Winter Soldier- Seeeeee.
15) Drive- It's been forever since I watched this too. I think it's kind of a perfect movie.
16) Zoolander- After the Zoolander 2 announcement, this had to be revisited.
17) Selma- Amazing
18) Star Wars episode IV: A New Hope- I think a huge reason why I can't ever love Star Wars (or the original movies at least) is because Luke bores the living shit out of me.
19) Star Wars episode V: Return of the Jedi- I kind of really like Lando.
20) Mommy- I cried so much this time. It broke me all over again.
21) The Heartbeats- There is maybe too much slo-mo but who cares if it all looks so gorgeous?
22) I Killed My Mother- Anne Dorval is aging like fine wine, isn't she?
23) Scott Pilgrim vs the World- Another one I hadn't watched in forever. I will never get bored of this film
24) (500) Days of Summer- Is the ending a happy one? Like really?


TV shows: (I'm skipping favourite quotes because there are so many)
1) Mad Men, seasons 1-6- I started watching this the day before my exams started because, duh. It's fantastic, of course. I am sorry that I waited so long to start it.
2) Buffy the Vampire Slayer, season 6 and 7- These aren't the greatest seasons but I love this show so much. For one thing, it has one of the best episodes of all time, "Once More With Feeling".
3) Grantchester, series 1- Anna lured me in by sending me links of the hot James Norton. He plays a priest in this show. What priest looks like that? (he's the one in the 2nd pic on the 1st row).
4) Daredevil, season 1- Really, really good. I especially loved the fight scenes (the hallway fight, amirite?) and the way the hero and the villain are so similar. a) Favourite episode: "Speak of the Devil". I liked how much we could feel Matt's mortality in this. Also, the two meetings between Matt and Fisk were both brilliantly handled. b) MVP- Though both Charlie Cox and Vincent d'Onofrio are excellent, I have a soft spot for Rosario Dawson's Claire. I wish we had more of her (one of the biggest flaws of the show for me).
5) The Mindy Project, seasons 1-3- They cancelled it, those assholes! Anyways, I really enjoyed it. An Indian woman who eats a lot and has a thing for hot, white guys and romcoms? It sure does sound familiar... Also, Chris Messina dancing is my sexual orientation from now on.
6) Agent Carter, season 1- SO FUCKING AWESOMESAUCE! I love it. I love the setting, the action, the banter and of course Peggy. Peggy is the badass goddess of my dreams. a) Favourite episode: "A Sin to Err" because we finally get Peggy showing those misogynistic assholes in SSR what a badass goddess she is. b) MVP: I loved James D'Arcy's Jarvis but this show belongs to Hayley Atwell's Peggy. She was already one of my favourite parts of Captain America: The First Avenger and in this show, she balances the action, the comedy and the emotions equally well.
7) Inside Amy Schumer, season 1 and 2- This show is the bestest thing ever and Amy Schumer is my god.
8) Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt, season 1- Really really fun. "Pinot Noir" is actually my ringtone. a) Favourite episode: "Kimmy Goes to Court" simply because who would have thought that *that* person is the father. b) MVP: As enjoyable as Titus Burgess and Jane Krakowski are, Ellie Kemper's Kimmy is my favourite. Her optimism is infectious even though my cheeks hurt just looking at her smiling so much.
9) Pushing Daisies, season 1- I suddenly had the urge to rewatch it. Watching season 2 is too painful because of how the show just ended after that :'(
10) The Jinx: The Life and Deaths of Robert Durst- After seeing the way people were losing their shit over this on social media, I had to check it out. That ending, man. WOW!
11) Broad City, Season 2- The show that is my life. Season 2 was actually better than 1. How did they do that? a) Favourite episode: "Knockoffs". We meet Ilana's mom, go underground designer knockoff bags shopping with them, deal with loss of a loved one, finally have Abbi and Jeremy go on a date, have Abbi and Jeremy do "pegging", see two people have a serious conversation about relationships while one of them has a dildo strapped on to their crotch the entire time- all of this in like a half-hour episode. It's incredible. b) MVP: I can't choose between Ilana and Abbi so this one is for Paul Downs' complete devotion to both Trey and his porn star alter ego Kirk Steele.
12) Fresh of the Boat, season 1- This is such a fun show too. I especially like the 90s aspects of it. And how totally adorbs Evan is. a) Favourite episode: "Very Superstitious" Jessica is my favourite part of the show so seeing her go nuts over the number 4 is hilarious. Also the freak out Louis has after removing his jade locket. b) MVP: Constance Wu is killing it as Jessica. I can watch her all day.
13) Better Call Saul, season 1- I have a weird feeling I might end up loving this more than Breaking Bad. Mostly because I feel so much worse for poor Saul/Jimmy. Really excellent show in its own right. a) Favourite episode: "Pimento" because of that long time coming confrontation between Jimmy and Chuck. Heartbreaking stuff. b) MVP: In Breaking Bad, I always thought of Saul Goodman as someone really sleazy but now I just feel the pathos of the character which is so beautifully brought out by Bob Odenkirk. He's doing truly wonderful work.


Books:

1) Tampa by Alissa Nuting- Oh this book is so filthy but so fun! I enjoyed it to bits. It's a blast being in the head of someone so heinous.
2) The Sense of an Ending by Julian Barnes- Ironically, it's the ending I didn't like. Really beautifully written otherwise.


Final tally: 
                                                   Firsts- 59                                    Rewatched- 31
                                                                             Total- 90


Here's hoping I'm better this month onwards.

Saturday 2 May 2015

The One Where I List Men With Hot Beards Because Of Reasons

        So I'm going to preface this post by saying that this has nothing to do with films or TV or things that aren't hot, bearded actors. It's just a random post that I have made for my satisfaction and it's dedicated to my friend Anna

        If you guys follow us on Twitter, you would have come across the almost daily conversations between us about attractive, male actors, 'cuz that's how we roll. Buzzfeed made an idiotic list a few weeks back and Anna suggested I should make something in response to it and this is it- equally idiotic but more accurate imo. 

         So the first 20 actors here look infinitely better with some sort of beardy-scruffy-stachey (actual term that exists) thing going on and I have photographic evidence to prove it!


Chris Evans
This whole list is because Buzzfeed had the balls to put him in that list. LIKE ARE YOU BLIND, BUZZFEED?! (I realize that Buzzfeed is not an actual person but come on!!)

Jamie Dornan
As awful as Fifty Shades of Grey was, my biggest issue with it was that Chistian Grey was clean-shaven (yeah okay, I have issues. Whatevs). I mean, half of Dornan's sex appeal lies in his beard.

Chris Pine
The man who single-handedly/beardedly started my obsession with hot beards. #scruffygod

Ryan Gosling
I find every Ryan Gosling hot- even the one in Lars and the Real Girl or when he's balding in Blue Valentine- but the hottest Gosling is scruffy Gosling,

Michiel Huisman
I don't know how else to describe it but I find his beard romantic. I mean, he's good-looking or whatever clean-shaven but with a beard, it makes me think of being whisked away on a horse

Tom Hardy
Hardy himself said that he looks cuter with a beard. I would go with hotter/sexier/everythinger but yeah, okay.

James McAvoy
Right?

Jake Gyllenhaal
He was originally on the other list but no, he looks better with a scruff.

Idris Elba
Classic example.

Daniel Radcliffe
I look at the first one and I go "Awww." I look at the second one and I'm like "DAYUM!"

Mark Ruffalo
Classic example #2.

Chris Hemsworth
The second one looks like he could be the sexiest man alive. The first one, not so much.

Jean Dujardin
Sexy Frenchman beard.

Chris Pratt
Yes, all the Chrises are in this list.

Ranbir Kapoor
He was on the other list too but again, he fits better here.

Michael B. Jordan
I think he looks kinda terrible as Johnny Storm tbh. So much cuter with facial hair.

Hugh Dancy
He just looks like such a child in the first picture.

Steve Carell
I realized in the middle of award season how attractive Carell looks with a scruff. Wit and scruff, amirite ladies?

Ben Affleck
No, I don't really find Ben Affleck hot but the beard hides his stupid butt chin! It makes all the difference in the world.

Ranvir Singh
Ew I feel gross just including him but in spite of myself, I am attracted to the second picture. Ew ew ew!


       And now for 5 actors who are equally hot no matter what. Bastards.


Michael Fassbender
He is never not hot.

Vincent Cassel
He was in the first list originally but then I rewatched Black Swan and goddamnit, this man can get it! Also, a bit of Lea Seydoux for additional hotness!

Henry Cavill
He's easily one of the most beautiful men on this earth, facial hair or no facial hair.

Tom Hiddleston
I can't choose.

Benedict Cumberbatch
Nope.

AND I'm done! Please don't unfollow me because of my shallowness!!

Friday 1 May 2015

Thoughts

This week's post has some really, seriously serious stuff and a lot of normal, dumb shit one expects from this blog. Enjoy, I guess.

1) So, last week was a pretty stressful week. Everyone knows by now what happened in Nepal. We felt the tremors of the original earthquake and many aftershocks later. That first tremor on the morning of the 25th was the strongest and longest tremor I have ever felt. It was almost funny at first- as my friend described it, it felt like we were surfing- but then it started to get scary. I live with my grandparents and at the time, it was only me, my grandmother and our maid in the apartment, which is on the 3rd floor of our elevator-less building. My grandma has a bad leg and at that point, everything I had ever read about what to do in an earthquake situation started going through my head. Thankfully, and I really mean that, nothing worse happened and we didn't have to take any measures. There was another rather strong tremor the next day and for about four days, I just permanently felt like I was at sea. Like every time I thought about tremors, I felt them. This is obviously nothing, rather minus nothing, compared to what the real victims of the Nepal earthquake went through. Watching the death toll rise every hour or so was terrifying too. It was just a strange feeling to have felt something, however slight, that caused so much destruction. I really don't want this to sound like I'm making this about me. Oh god, I hope I am not Hannah Horvath-ing this awful thing. I just really wanted to share this. It was something that I couldn't stop thinking about and I just wanted to put it in words.

2) That was the really, seriously serious stuff. Let's go revert back to what this blog is about. Harry Potter! Doctor Who! Ryan Gosling! Abs! MAN-BUTT! Okay, we're back.

3) I also gave the last of my college exams this week. So I am currently at that awkward not-an-undergraduate-not-really-a-graduate phase. I have some free time in my hands but I have to give a couple of entrance tests to qualify for post-graduate courses in May. Once I have selected a college, I will be living on my own for the first time in my life. I am really excited/anxious about that. And I will be learning film-making properly and I can start actually doing what I want to truly do in life (hopefully) :) Yeah, so that was an update about my life or whatever right now. How are YOU guys?

4) Xavier Dolan had announced that he's making The Death and Life of John F. Donovan with Jessica Chastain and Kit Harrington (who I have officially warmed up to) but before that, he's going to make Juste La Fin Du Monde or Only the End of the World which will star *cue drum-roll and fangirl screaming* Marion Cotillard, Lea Seydoux, Vincent Cassel, Gaspard Ulliel and Nathalie Baye. I am not that familiar with Baye's work but the other four- oh my gawd!!! Like not only am I a huge fan of their acting, but I swear I have had (or rather still do) crushes on all of them. I mean, holy shit, this film is going to look soooo beautiful! It's based on a play by Jean-Luc Lagarce about a dying writer who comes back to his family after 12 years (why is everything 12 years long now??) and I just know I am going to be destroyed by it but goddamn, I want it in my life! Dolan's only 26 and he's making friggin' 2 movies this year with certified stars and acting giants (and Harrington) and what the fuck is even my life?!

5) Obvious Child was one of my favourite films of last year and its director Gillian Robespierre is now making a show with its star Jenny Slate and Ari Graynor (who I have loved since Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist). Yayyyyy! It's been described as "two gutsy born-and-raised New Yorkers who discover each other in their 30s" and they then decide to go on a road trip after making a film together. I can't wait.

6) Speaking of comedic female duos, you guys must know about my crazy love for Broad City. Two of its writers, Lucia Aniello and Paul Downs (who plays the hilarious Trey on the show) are going to write an all-female spin-off of 21 Jump Street. I can only hope and pray that they get Abbi Jacobson and Ilana Wexler, aka my personal goddesses, to star as leads. As for the Jonah Hill and Channing Tatum characters, they are apparently going to be a part of the next Men In Black movie because this is some shared universe? Also, did you guys know that they're making another of those Dan Brown-Tom Hanks movies and it has Felicity Jones in it? I completely missed its announcement and I am baffled as to why it's even being made. Not even my undying love for Ewan McGregor could make me watch Angels and Demons.

7) Videos- I can't choose which form of objectification of the two Avengers' Chrises by Ellen DeGeneres on her show was better-

Okay, I can. It's Hemsworth (can you say life goal much?) but Evans is so cute!

8) Ava DuVernay got a Barbie doll made of her! That's soooo cool! Like, who even needs an Oscar when you have your own Barbie? This has actually become a life goal because I was OBSESSED with Barbies as a kid and I didn't even know this was a thing that was possible. Also, I really want the DuVernay Barbie but it's not in production and even if it was, it will never sell in India *sighs*.

9) Trailers- Legend looks fun and brutal and it has 2(!!) Tom Hardys. I also spotted Kingsman star Taron Egerton in it so I am definitely looking forward to it a lot. I forgot to post about the Black Mass trailer which also I liked. I can only hope that this is a return to form for Johnny Depp. I don't know about you guys but I think Irrational Man looks great. I adore both Joaquin Phoenix and Emma Stone and I like that both of their characters seem to be narrating. And now for something terrible- the Fifty Shades Darker teaser :X :X I mean, why?

10) Finally, as much as I like looking at Sam Heughan's ass, my true Outlander crush is Caitriona Balfe. Not only is she an amazing actress, she's absolutely stunning to look at. Some reviewer called her a brunette Cate Blanchett and I can see that. Can you?
Wowsers.


And that's it. Bye, guys. I am not Hannah Horvath!