The One Where I List Men With Hot Beards Because Of Reasons

        So I'm going to preface this post by saying that this has nothing to do with films or TV or things that aren't hot, bearded actors. It's just a random post that I have made for my satisfaction and it's dedicated to my friend Anna. 

        If you guys follow us on Twitter, you would have come across the almost daily conversations between us about attractive, male actors, 'cuz that's how we roll. Buzzfeed made an idiotic list a few weeks back and Anna suggested I should make something in response to it and this is it- equally idiotic but more accurate imo. 

         So the first 20 actors here look infinitely better with some sort of beardy-scruffy-stachey (actual term that exists) thing going on and I have photographic evidence to prove it!

Chris Evans

This whole list is because Buzzfeed had the balls to put him in that list. LIKE ARE YOU BLIND, BUZZFEED?! (I realize that Buzzfeed is not an actual person but come on!!)

Jamie Dornan

As awful as Fifty Shades of Grey was, my biggest issue with it was that Chistian Grey was clean-shaven (yeah okay, I have issues. Whatevs). I mean, half of Dornan's sex appeal lies in his beard.

Chris Pine

The man who single-handedly/beardedly started my obsession with hot beards. #scruffygod

Ryan Gosling

I find every Ryan Gosling hot- even the one in Lars and the Real Girl or when he's balding in Blue Valentine- but the hottest Gosling is scruffy Gosling,

Michiel Huisman

I don't know how else to describe it but I find his beard romantic. I mean, he's good-looking or whatever clean-shaven but with a beard, it makes me think of being whisked away on a horse

Tom Hardy

Hardy himself said that he looks cuter with a beard. I would go with hotter/sexier/everythinger but yeah, okay.

James McAvoy

Right?

Jake Gyllenhaal

He was originally on the other list but no, he looks better with a scruff.

Idris Elba

Classic example.

Daniel Radcliffe

I look at the first one and I go "Awww." I look at the second one and I'm like "DAYUM!"

Mark Ruffalo

Classic example #2.

Chris Hemsworth

The second one looks like he could be the sexiest man alive. The first one, not so much.

Jean Dujardin

Sexy Frenchman beard.

Chris Pratt

Yes, all the Chrises are in this list.

Ranbir Kapoor

He was on the other list too but again, he fits better here.

Michael B. Jordan

I think he looks kinda terrible as Johnny Storm tbh. So much cuter with facial hair.

Hugh Dancy

He just looks like such a child in the first picture.

Steve Carell

I realized in the middle of award season how attractive Carell looks with a scruff. Wit and scruff, amirite ladies?

Ben Affleck

No, I don't really find Ben Affleck hot but the beard hides his stupid butt chin! It makes all the difference in the world.

Ranvir Singh

Ew I feel gross just including him but in spite of myself, I am attracted to the second picture. Ew ew ew!

       And now for 5 actors who are equally hot no matter what. Bastards.

Michael Fassbender

He is never not hot.

Vincent Cassel

He was in the first list originally but then I rewatched Black Swan and goddamnit, this man can get it! Also, a bit of Lea Seydoux for additional hotness!

Henry Cavill

He's easily one of the most beautiful men on this earth, facial hair or no facial hair.

Tom Hiddleston

I can't choose.

Benedict Cumberbatch

Nope.

AND I'm done! Please don't unfollow me because of my shallowness!!

Thoughts

        I think I am definitely turning these posts into a fortnight thing which is better than them being a month thing. In this way you guys get a bigger, meatier, possibly crazier post and I get to feel less bad about my laziness. Win-win, probably. Anyways, onto the post!

1) Matt Smith is going to star in the Terminator reboot, Terminator: Genesis and will also be a major part of its 2 sequels. I'll be honest, I was kind of going to skip these movies. I like the original and really like Judgement Day but my interest had fizzled out. I would not have watched them even for Emilia Clarke (sorry Khaleesi fans) but yeah, the addition of my favourite television actor does change everything. His character is someone who will be working close to John Connor, who will be played by Jason Clarke. I am sincerely praying he doesn't play some gangly nerd dude and that he does get to bulk up a bit, especially after this :) I am happy to see at least two members of Karen and the Babes (i.e., Karen Gillan, Matt, Arthur Darvill) getting breakout roles in these blockbuster movies. Now all I need is for Darvill to get cast as Newt Scamander in the Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them trilogy because he will be *perfect*.

2) David Fincher won't be making the Sorkin-Jobs movie after all, which sucks! But they're probably going to replace him with Danny Boyle, which is awesome! The last time Boyle made a sorta biopic, it was 127 Hours which I loved (coincidentally, it was my second favourite movie of 2010 right below Fincher's The Social Network). Boyle apparently wants Leonardo DiCaprio to play Jobs though and that is not great news. I really want Leo to stop doing biopics already. Yes WoWS was kind of a biopic and so is the next movie he is making with Jonah Hill but man, I thought Leo was finally embracing his comedic side! Gahhhhhh. So yes to Boyle and no to Leo.

3) Woody Allen's next movie after Magic in the Moonlight will star Joaquin Phoenix. Fuck yes!! I love Phoenix and with his recent career choices, he can do no wrong in my eyes, and Woody is still my favourite filmmaker. I can imagine the film being Sweet and Lowdown-esque for some reason, not that we know anything about the plot or whether it is a comedy or tragedy or a dramedy. It's just that Phoenix would be really great in a role like that although he can honestly do anything with that face of his. #favcinematicface

4) Oh since my last post, the Cannes 2014 lineup has been announced. Here is the full list. Some really exciting movies here like Foxcatcher, Maps to the Stars, Clouds of Sils Maria, Mommy, The Search, Saint Laurent (which stars Gaspard Ulliel, Lea Seydoux and Louis Garrel!! Their combined beauty will blind us) and most importantly for me, Ryan Gosling's directorial debut Lost River, which is the boring name they replaced How to Catch A Monster with. Anywhoo, I am super stoked about it still even though I am 97.6849203% sure I will hate it. Oh and the Cannes jury has been announced as well. It's pretty amazing. It will be headed by Jane Campion and has Sofia Coppola, Gael García Bernal, Nicolas Winding-Refn and Leila Hatami (who was in the incredible A Separation) among others. On a sidenote, I totally had a dream about Sofia Coppola the other day where I was trying to befriend her 'cuz duh. It also had Kelly Preston and Peter Sarsgaard :/

5) Jessica Chastain will be playing Marilyn Monroe in Andrew Dominik's next, Blonde. This is pretty fantastic news. I don't think anyone can *really* look like Monroe but I think Chastain can get the mannerisms right. And it's not a proper biopic but rather based on the book of the same name by Joyce Carol Oates where he has reimagined her tale of glamour and rise and fall in Hollywood and all that. Dominik has called it "a really sprawling, emotional nightmare fairy-tale type movie" so that's interesting. Naomi Watts was previously attached to this project but in La Chastain we trust. Chastain is also apparently being courted to play the co-lead in the next Mission Impossible film, which is exciting news.

6) The cast of Star Wars Episode 7 has finally been revealed and it is quite an impressive one. Like in the case of the Terminator reboot, I wasn't all that psyched about this movie but hot damn, that is one cool cast! John Boyega who was excellent in Attack the Block, Adam Driver, Oscar Isaac and Domnhnall Gleeson, who are all becoming some of my favourite actors to watch, Andy Serkins who is awesome, Max von Sydow who is a legend, and the returning cast members that include Harrison Ford, Carrie Fisher, Mark Hamill and Peter Mayhew. The only person I don't know is Daisy Ridley but it's just good to know that there is more than one female character in this.

7) Other news- So Zach Snyder will be directing the Justice League movie as well as the Superman VS Batman movie. This isn't even the worst part of it. Apparently Matt Damon is in talks to play someone called Aquaman? On one hand, I desperately want this to happen because it will be HILARIOUS and oh so cute because Ben and Matt forever OMG, but on the other hand, I like Damon and this sounds *awful*. There is a movie called Genius about writer Thomas Wolfe and editor Max Perkins that is being made. Originally, Michael Fassbender was slated to play Wolfe but he has now been replaced by Jude Law, while Perkins will be played by Colin Firth. The film will also star Nicole Kidman. I like Law though of course Fassy would have been a cooler choice. Lessee how this works. The new Jungle Book movie will have Lupita Nyong'o and Scarlett Johansson voicing some of the animals which is kind of silly because if you are going to have those two women in a film, at least make it live action. Joe Wright's Pan continues to baffle as it will now also star Amanda Seyfried and Cara Delevigne. The cast has really out-whited itself but I still have faith in Wright. Justin Kurtzel, who is directing the Fassy-Cotilard Macbeth movie will next direct the Assassin's Creed movie which will also star Fassy. I can get behind this. JK Rowling's The Casual Vacancy is going to become a TV series that will be shown in BBC and HBO. I wasn't too big a fan of the book but I can see it working as a show and the studios are cool. Finally, Steven Spielberg will be directing the movie adaptation of Roald Dahl's BFG. It is one of the only Dahl books I haven't read but my brother ensures me it is brilliant and therefore this is awesome news.

8) There are sooooo many videos I want to share, from the McAvoy-Fassbender-Jackman interviews to Emma Stone's awesome awesomeness, but in order to be as current as possible, I give you this-

So funny. Especially the part he screams and the hand bit. Also, I want to be Beyonce when I grow up.

9) Pictures- A number of images from Magic in the Moonlight have been released. Though Stone's and Firth's age difference is a bit big, I can feel the chemistry already and they are both just so charming. New pictures from the aforementioned Macbeth movie. I am kind of sick of watching Macbeth adaptations but I do like the look of this a lot. A few stills from Gosling's Lost River have also been released. God, this film will be weird. Still, where's Matt Smith yo? And Robert Downey Jr. has tweeted this slice of fried gold from the shooting of Avengers 2. ZOMG SO EXCITED!!!!!!!

10) Trailers- Some good/great ones here. Maps to the Stars looks sufficiently strange but I do love the cast and as long as there are no giant rats in this one, I'm good. The Trip to Italy is funny, obviously. We can never have too many Michael Caine impressions. And the food looks wow. Let's Be Cops has Jake Johnson and Damon Wayans Jr. and looks pretty funny albeit a little stupid. Still, I adore Johnson too much. They Came Together has another of my favourite TV comedians, Amy Poehler, teaming up with the always adorable Paul Rudd. This too seems a little crazy but parodies can be fun and these two are awesome! Boyhood maybe doesn't have a super fantabulous trailer but I cannot wait for this movie! It will be beautiful and amazing and the best thing ever! Accio! My two favourite trailers in *sigh* the last month are What We Do in the Shadows and Gone Girl. In case of the former, it just looks so funny and brilliant and in case of the latter, well, it just *sounds* so funny and brilliant. Seriously, I love Fincher to death! That song and the stuff shown in the trailer is like something out of Amy's diary. It goes with the "perfect" image of the Dunnes and has enough creepiness to keep us wondering. Pure, unadulterated love.

11) Finally, the Graham Norton-Fassy-McAvoy-Jackman might be the greatest interview ever conducted. It's definitely hottest. Here are some gems from it-

These three are the only people that make "Blurred Lines" classy.

McAvoy was on fire.

McBender 4eva.

Sorry Benny, but 'tis true.

And that's it. Tata!

Dance, Leo! Dance!

I controlled myself from using the gif above in the Golden Globes post because I was hoping it could be better served if Leo got an Oscar nomination. AND HE DID!!!!!! I am so happy. I could barely sit through my first French class (Salut everyone).

As usual, the rest of the nominations are a mixed bag. For every Gravity nomination, there is an American Hustle nomination, literally. They each bagged 10 nominations followed by the 9 of 12 Years A Slave. Lee Daniels' The Butler got nothing, so yaay!

Expectations Vs Reality

Best Film: 9 out of 9- Really have to see this Philomania (yaay Steve Coogan's an Oscar nominee)

Best Director: 5 out of 5- Paul Greengrass was phenomenal so it's sad not to see him here.

Best Actress: 5 out of 5- Meryl Streep has 18 acting nominations now.

Best Actor: 4 out of 5- LEOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! Did not expect the Bale nomination and that Tam Honks would get snubbed. I was so looking forward to writing Tam Honks throughout this award season.

Best Supporting Actress: 4/5 out of 5- since I did mention JLaw but it was more of a plea for her not to get nominated. I still love her but man, the backlash is going to be brutal.

Best Supporting Actor: 5 out of 5- Sad about no Franco but hellz yeah for Hill and Fassy (!!!!) getting nominated.

Best Original Screenplay: 4 out of 5- Forgot about Dallas Buyers Club.

Best Adapted Screenplay: 4 out of 5- Didn't predict Philomania but yaay for Coogan again. And the Before Midnight team, duhs.


Other thoughts-

• Dallas Buyers Club got a nomination for editing? What?
• No Stories We Tell :( I get that 2013 was an exceptional year for documentaries and I am going to watch as many of then as I can, but Sarah Polley's exploration of family and memories is so universal and touching, I really thought it had a chance.
• Happy about The Grandmaster's cinematography and costume design nominations. Of course, Lubezki ought to win the former, but gosh, the clothes in the movie were lovely!
• Of course films like Frances Ha, Spring Breakers and Stoker get nothing. Duh.
• So happy for Barkhad Abdi. Inspirational stuff.
• Yaay Karen O. and Arcade Fire are Oscar nominees!!
• Pacific Rim didn't get nominated for Best Visual Effects? What the fucking hell? These people deserve to be eaten by kaijus.

     And that's it. Au revoir and bonne nuit!