Wednesday, 5 March 2014

"The one and only, Adele Dazeem!" - Random thoughts on Oscars

           We all know who won and who lost and who ate the pizza. Therefore, doing a proper recap is pointless. However, I have some Oscar-related thoughts and I'd like to share them. Simply put, here's what I liked and didn't like about the Oscars:

1) Lupita's princess dress was just gorgeous. It makes me want to wear a big flowy gown myself and just twirl around.
2) Among other fashion-related stuff, I liked Kristin Chenoweth's and Karen O's outfits, Emma Watson's hairdo and Naomi Watts' necklace.
3) Coming to speeches, there were a few that stood out. Lupita's was the most heartfelt and inspirational. "It doesn't escape me for one moment that so much joy in my life is thanks to so much pain in someone else's"- this was an incredibly powerful and perceptive sentence and I have been thinking about it ever since. All these biopics we watch, most of them are based around someone's struggle and Patsey definitely had one of the hardest lives ever. We see numerous actors thank and pay tribute to the people they play or their hardships but I don't think anyone has put it the way Lupita did. Also, the way she ended it-

4)The other speeches I liked were Cate Blanchett's "The world is round, people!" and "Hashtag: Suck it" badass woman power declaration, Darlene Love's acceptance ballad, the "Let It Go" duo with their perfectly rhimy speech, the short documentary winners' heartfelt tribute to the woman who was their subject, and all winners whose hands shook while they were on the stage.
5) Lupita, Meryl and Amy dancing with Pharrell. Goddesses.

6) That selfie.

7) And all its subsequent parodies.

8) Lupita Nyong'o's brother who is my new role model.
9) The other selfie where Benedict Cumberbatch just popped up from the back.

10) Cumberbatch photobombing U2. Not once, but twice. #winneratOscars

11) Cumberbatch crying during Lupita's speech.
12) Lupita photobombing Jared Leto.
13) Lupita and JLaw fake-fighting.

14) The fact that JLaw looked happier than Lupita when Lupita won. Bullet dodged.
15) Brad Pitt handing out plates.

16) ALL the pizza photos.
17) Kevin Spacey presenting.
18) Bill Murray standing up after Darlene Love sang.
19) The "Moon Song" performance and the fact that Ezra Koenig's socks matched Karen O's dress.

20) "Possibility number 1: 12 Years A Slave wins Best Picture. Possibility number 2: You're all racists. And now welcome our first white presenter, Anne Hathaway!" #burn
21) Steve McQueen jumping in the air after they won Best Picture. I love this so much. As much as people hate on the Oscars, and they are definitely not decisive word on what is best or not, even someone as unconventional as McQueen was overjoyed at his film getting the award because it is a recognition of efforts and that's always a good and happy thing.

22) The fact that 2 of the Fight Club cast members now have Oscars.
23) Alfonso Cuaron and Emmanuel Lubezki- Oscar winners. FUCK YEAH!
24) Actually, just the fact that Gravity won Best Editing. That movie is so clever with its cuts. I am super impressed with the Academy for this.
25) Daniel Day-Lewis. Such a puppy.

Sidenote: Meryl Streep gave DDL his Oscar last year. Imagine if she had won this year. Actually, imagine if they keep winning alternate years, giving each other Oscars for all eternity because true artists never die and time is a flat circle and ZOMG!

26) Lupita Nyong'o's lip balm.
27) I will talk about the montages later but just the fact that the last "heroes" montage included Indiana Jones, Beasts of the Southern Wild, Speed, The Princess Bride, Independence Day (speech and all), Harry Potter (more on that later too), Aliens, Back to the Future and Air Force One.
28) Spike Jonze winning Best Original Screenplay.

29) And Spike Jonze.

30) SPIKE JONZE!!!!!!!!

31) I love you, Spike Jonze. Please marry me.
32) The fact that I later dreamt that Joaquin Phoenix was hosting the Oscars. I don't remember more than that. Sorry.
33) Leo lost and that sucks but seriously though, WoWS is such a IDGAF movie that I can't feel that bad. But all the "Poor Leo" memes have been hilarious. This one's my fav-

34) Matthew McConaughey was very sweet when he presented with Kim Novak. She was definitely having some problems and he was very gracious.
35) Ditto for Angelina Jolie.
36) Ellen making all of the JLaw falling jokes, so that we didn't have to. Chill humans. We've all done stupid things when drunk (more on this later too though).
37) Ellen in Glinda's costume.

38) Ellen in general.
39) Nicholas Hoult. Dawwwwwwww.

40) Not playing most of the winners off.
41) That American Hustle didn't win anything. MUAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!

42) I laughed like hell in the Bradley Cooper nomination clip though. Best in show.
43) And my absolute favourite thing that happened at the Oscars- the coming together of Joseph Gordon-Levitt and Emma Watson. Such a perfect unison of good looks, charm and talent. Of course, I want them to get married now, but for the time being I will be totally happy with both of them starring in a romcom together. Preferably something set in the 1st half of the 20th century and screwball-y. You can see it, right? It can be all witty and stuff. DanRad can be there too. Remember when he and JGL danced at last year's Oscars? It's all perfect.

1) The whole "heroes" theme. I happened to like Pink's performance but it was so unnecessary, as were the montages. No one bloody tunes in to watch the Oscars because of whatever theme they decide to go with. That's just silly and confusing and distracting.
2) Matthew McConaughey and Jared Leto's white tuxedos. They looked like really good-looking waiters, but waiters nonetheless.
3) Harrison Ford. What happened, Indy?
4) Jim Carrey. It was super awkward to watch.
5) Most of the intros were awkward to watch. ADELE DAZEEM!!!!!!

6) Jared Leto's hair but that's like one of the things I hate most in the world. Well, not the hair but the hair on him. Annoyances!
7) I didn't listen to U2. BOTH times I watched the ceremony. I can't. Nope.
8) Also, Bette Midler singing "Wind Beneath My Wings". That song is one of the many we were made to sing throughout school and I will always feel resentful towards it. And it wasn't a very good performance either.
9) Jennifer Lawrence was a bit mental yesterday. When she came on stage to give Best Actor and randomly started screaming at the crowd- not funny, JLaw. Such a misfire.
10) Speaking of, the entire Jimmy Kimmel thing during the red carpet- what the fuck was that? If you must know, I was eating salsa at like 6:30 in the morning while watching the show. Problem?
11) Chris Hemsworth's wife was super preggers. The Loki in me kind of wanted her to give birth then though, just to see how people would react.
12) Where was Hiddles? Why was he not there? You must rectify this next year, Oscars.
13) Back to the "heroes" thing- why the fuck would you put the new Spider-Man and Superman only? They are barely heroic.
14) Also, I kind of hate it when anything Harry Potter-related is used during the Oscars. You had your chance, bastards. Avada kedavra!
15) The Great Beauty winning Best Foreign Film. Boo you pretentious whores.
16) I mean Mads was sitting there, razor-sharp cheekbones and everything. He could have come up if The Hunt had won. Dumasses.
17) The constant standing ovations. They just weren't cool anymore.
18) Matthew McConaughey's speech was actually kind of terrible. I listened to it twice to make sure. He should have just said "Alright alright alright" and left.
19) Those Oscar statuette shaped bauble thingies at the back. Terrifying! I'm surprised drunk JLaw didn't fight one of them.
20) In totes agreement with all who are angry at Oscars not including honorary Oscars in the main ceremony. Angelina Jolie's speech for that was one of the most beautiful things ever.
21) That I should really get off the net while the ceremony is going on. I missed a lot the first time tweeting and chatting with friends. Also that the whole Twitter shutting down thing made me panic a tad too much.
22) My absolute least-favourite thing about these Oscars- just how incredibly predictable and boring the winners ended up being. There were people on my Facebook page who have barely watched any of the movies but were announcing how they did with the predictions because they had obviously read about it in 150000 sites already. I really want Oscars to change its airdate. We need some excitement, come on! Nothing against the winners, just that an upset or two is always fun.

         And that's it. As you can see, I was quite happy with the ceremony in general. Let's end this with what has become the catchphrase of this award season. See you next year, O sweet headache-inducing Oscars.


  1. Loved all of this! Great rundown! Bahaha at Jim Carey. I forgot about how uncomfortable that was.

    1. Thanks! It was really uncomfortable. I liked the LSD bit though.

  2. I thought including random performances of Bette Midler and Pink and not honorary Oscar in the show was massively disrespectful. You Leo fans like to joke about his future honorary Oscar - imagine if he gets one and it's not even in the show.

    1. OMG! Can you imagine the massive internet shutdown if that were to happen!!!

    2. @Sati- totes agree. It is very disrespectful and frankly idiotic.

      @Fisti- Haha, by the time Leo gets his honorary Oscar, we'll probably have internet in our heads- there will be like a mass aneurysm.

  3. Brad Pitt handing out plates. It's weird, but perhaps the highlight of the night. So funny! Really comprehensive article. We agree on both sides, though I thought Jim Carrey was pretty funny.

    1. It was fantastic. He seems like an awesome guy.
      Thanks, Andy. I wanted to like Carrey's bit because I LOVE him but something about it scared me :P

  4. I skipped over all the musical performances except Adele Dazeem's, because that's really the only one that mattered.

    Also... not only did they use tons of HP clips throughout multiple montages, but they used some of the score during going to/coming back from commercials. (I think some Delbonnel score, which would make sense since he was nominated). The fact that they honored Harry Potter tonight more than through the entirety of its 8-movie run was kinda funny to me.

    1. Haw you missed out on Meryl shimmying!

      Exactly! Where was all this "heroic" shit for a decade? Bastards.

  5. This is mean of me but I like how American Hustle didn't win anything (hence loving that gif set). Also, I loved how Gravity took home a lot of awards (and was really hoping that there is this huge possibility that they might take home Best Picture - alas, no such luck). And Spike Jonze winning for screenplay!!!

    1. Haha, don't be :P
      I thought Gravity might take Best Picture too, but even this went *exactly* as people had been saying for months.

  6. AGREED with everything you liked and disliked. Except the Jimmy Kimmel thing, it wasn't exactly about how people looked or what they were doing during the oscars, but rather about all the rude tweets that people send for no reason other than they're bad people. He even pointed out the guy in the back who looked terrible, but couldn't care less or judged, so that's okay.

    Oh I was really looking forward to Menzel's performance, but it looked a bit messy... I swear the music was so loud, she was screaming, sometimes out of synch, at times even out of tune... but all because the damn music was so. freaking. loud.

    Brad Pitt distributing the plates was my favourite moment. It was very selfless, don't you think? Well that and him throwing dollars at Ellen, so funny. Oh and Steve McQueen crying for Lupita, and everything, they're both beautiful.

    1. Yeah but it still felt really mean-spirited. Probably moreso because I was half-asleep.

      She was totally screaming. I was disappointed.

      I think Brad Pitt must be a really humble man. I loved it. Ditto on McQueen.

  7. I take it you like Spike Jonze eh?

    I liked this year's Oscars because most of the speeches were outright inspiring. What Lupita said about everyone's dreams being valid was my favourite thing of the night until Cate Blanchett said the thing about females and film (like seriously, sure bloggers and online press do their fair share to push the movement, but she did it at the most perfect time). And the pizza and the selfies...awesome.

    Oh, and Steve McQueen jumping around. I love him.

    But yeah, Matty M's speech was a bit annoying. Like, no one was into it until he said "alright alright alright". I am of course pissed that Leo didn't win, but given the nature of Wolf, it really is hard to care all that much. It's just cool to think how we'll still be talking about that performance in years to come and I've pretty much already forgotten about Dallas Buyers Club (it was a good film, don't get me wrong, but...yeah.)

    1. How did you guess? :O

      Lupita and Cate should rule the world- that's all.

      McQueen is adorbs.

      Haha yeah DBC is the King's Speech of this year. Mehhhhhhhh

  8. Lupita's speech was definitely the highlight of the night for me. So well spoken, and McQueen and Cumberbatch's reactions we priceless. I also agree that the constant ovations were a but much. I think people kept doing them because the whole mood of the show was very relaxed. But still, it removed the significance by seeing them so often.

    1. Yaay glad you liked Lupita's speech. Both McQueen and Cumberbatch seem like such softies, just awwwwwww.
      It did remove their significance. They went a little overboard.

  9. I'm incredibly late to this post, but great wrap-up! :D Though the winners were ridiculously predictable, I didn't have a problem with most of them, and I really enjoyed the ceremony. Bring Ellen back!

    1. Haha thanks Josh! Bring Jackman back!