“Quentin Tarantino is here, the star of all my sexual nightmares." GOLDEN GLOBES HAPPENED, BICHES!

           I bloody love the Golden Globes. They are always so much fun and incredibly unpredictable, which just adds to the fun. Though I respect the Oscars more (don't ask why, it's an inherent thing, like it is for everybody else), Globes is my favourite awards show and the 70th Golden Globes Awards just reaffirmed that.

1) I went to bed at around 2:30 a.m. and then woke up at 5:30 a.m. panicking because I thought I had missed them. Turns out they start an hour later and for the first time in a very long time I had to listen to modern pop music on VH1 (which was airing the show) to stay awake. It was trauma (I HATE YOU MAROON 5!).
2) And yes, I have slept for only 3 hours so I apologise for any craziness that may or may not occur in this post.
3) Though they didn't air the red carpet, my absolute favourite gown was what Lucy Liu wore. It was like something out of Marie Antoinette-

I also really loved what Kate Hudson, Amy Adams and Naomi Watts wore. They were all so dramatic.

4) Rachel Weisz's outfit was a classic example of how a good dress can go bad. She's so beautiful though.

5) Anywho, the show starts and the hosts, part-time comedy goddesses, Tina Fey and Amy Poeher kill it! So funny. Some classics- 

"When it comes to torture, I trust the lady spending three years married to James Cameron." (Jessica Chastain's face here was priceless).

"Anne Hathaway, you gave a stunning performance in Les Miserables. I have not someone so totally alone and abandoned since you were on stage with James Franco at the Oscars." 

“Meryl Streep isn’t here tonight. She has the flu, and I hear she’s amazing in it.”

 Daniel Day Lewis being E.T. He looks like such a silver fox. I love it.

6) The first award is Best Supporting Actor and lo and behold, who should win it but Christoph Waltz! Ugh, category fraud. And Leo looked so pretty. I miss pretty Leo. Isn't Golden Globes supposed to be partial to like gorgeous royalty, wtf?

7) Miss and Mr. Golden Globe were children of Clint Eastwood and Michael J. Fox respectively. "You know what, Taylor Swift? Stay away from Michael J. Fox‘s son." Fey threatens later. Lulz.

8) Oh then the president of HFPA comes and hits on Bradley Cooper. Poor Cooper.

9) I know it's trivial to speculate but I think Cooper and J-Law are totes going out. It's all that awesome dancing and staring into the eyes.

10) They got the real Tony Mendez to announce Argo's Best Picture nomination. So cool. Oscar's never do this.

11) Ang Lee looks like such a nice, happy person. And I hate Suraj Sharma. I want to be there!!

12) One of my favourite awards of the evening- Adele won Best Original Song for "Skyfall" and hi-fived James Bond and gave an adorable speech and Taylor Swift was left seething. It's okay though. She will probably write a song about it.

And real talent wins!

13) Benedict Cumberbatch did not get an award AGAIN! And he lost to Kevin Costner who sounded really sad and stuff.

LOOK AT HIM! JUST LOOK! GIVE HIM A BLOODY AWARD!!!

14) Oh then Bill Clinton comes to announce Lincoln's nomination, which was so not fair. He got a standing ovation. I once went to some function where he was the chief guest. He wore a very nice suit. "That was Hillary Clinton's husband!" Leslie Knope speaking through Amy Poehler.

15) At some point Homeland won a ton of awards and Claire Danes's make-up was really sexy. Also Maggie Smith won so yaay!!
16) Man, the commercial breaks were torture. The ads alternated between some Michael Jackson memorial thing with people crying, bloody Taylor Swift promoting her new album and Aishwarya Rai's Loreal commercials, in which she says "Now I am a mother with gorgeous hair." OH MY GOD SHUT UP BICH!
17) Btw, "bich" is my new thing now. Yes, I decide what stupid fads I want to follow.
18) Kristen Wiig and Will Ferrel presented Best Actress Comedy/Musical and were hilarious to everyone except Tommy Lee Jones, who wins the Best Expression of the Golden Globes Award.

He is the Grumpy Cat in human form.

19) Jennifer Lawrence won and she was really funny and sweet. Her "Oh, what does it say? I beat Meryl" was taken from The First Wives Club, so no, it was not a failed joke. She is smarter than us all.

20) Then Anne Hathaway won and she desperately has to work on her surprised face, because you can see through it very easily. Almost makes me wish that when she got up, someone else's name got called out instead. Her thanking Sally Field was really lovely though.
21) Quentin Tarantino won Best Screenplay, making it another favourite win of mine. He was so, in the words of Adele, "pissed" that it was very entertaining to watch.

22) Sylvester Stallone and Arnold Schwarzenegger presented the Best Foreign Film award (duh?) and all I wanted was a fight. Of course Amour won and Michael Haneke accepted the award from fellow Austrian, Schwarzy (are he and Schwarzy  gonna become bezzies now? Methinks 'twas meant to be).
23) Oh I really wanted Anne Hathaway and Claire Danes to have a jazz freakout together. That would have been fun.
24) Sacha Baron Cohen came with a drink in his hand and wittily insulted most of his Les Mis co-stars and also made a joke about Anne Hathaway's unfortunate wardrobe malfunction, and then continued to present the Best Animated Film award. Again, duh? Still, Brave won, so GO PIXAR! Maybe I should get a Pixar tattoo...
25) Lena Dunham won the Best Actress Comedy in television and was really sweet and thanked all the other nominees, but Tina and Amy were not amused. Also, this-

Amy Poehler's nomination being announced.

26) Robert Downey Jr. came to introduce Jodie Foster and give her the Cecil B. Demille award. Someone needs to give him an Oscar just for being himself, because he is unparalleled in his awesomosity.

27) I love Clarice Starling to death. One of my absolute favourite characters and performances of all time. But oh my god, I don't know if it was the lack of sleep or what, but I could not follow anything Jodie Foster said in her acceptance speech. She was burning through a lot of topics really fast. There was something about coming out but then it wasn't, and Honey Boo Boo and reality TV and her mother and some dog whistle and by the end of it, it sounded like she was going to shoot herself on the spot. People in the audience were crying. I was very lost.
28) Mel Gibson- BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!
29) Ben Affleck won Best Director, which was brilliant. Argo Fuck Yourselves, Oscars.
30) Hey, hey! Ryan Gosling wasn't there :( And they never showed Cumberbatch again. Eddie Redmayne makes me want to howl though.
31) Girls also won Best Comedy show. Yaays! Season 2 starts today!! Eeeeep!!!
32) My absolute favourite win of the show was Hugh Jackman winning Best Actor Comedy/Musical, beating the frontrunner, Cooper. I was watching his Oscar's opening number just yesterday and I love him so. He was fantastic in Les Mis.
33) Les Mis also, very shockingly, won Best Film Comedy/Musical instead of the favoured and far more superior Silver Linings Playbook. Anne Hathaway is getting slightly annoying.
34) “Our next presenter is so handsome, he makes young George Clooney look like garbage.”
“Welcome to the stage, middle-age George Clooney.” - best intro ever.
35) Unfortunately, Clooney did not make any jokes about golf clubs or anything. He did poke fun at Ben Affleck though (who had forgotten to thank him in his speech :O). Jessica Chastain won Best Actress Drama and was wonderful, although I would have much preferred to see Rachel Weisz take home the Globe. And Daniel Day Lewis won Best Actor Drama, hence making the Best Actor race the most boring category of the year.
36) Oh Joaquin Phoenix was totally there. Maybe he likes the Globes more than the Oscars. Maybe it was all the alcohol.

See.

37) Argo won Best Picture Drama! Woo hoo! I wish Drama and Comedy were kept on the same pedestal though. The preference of one to the other is depressing, literally. Anyways, I hope this happens at the Oscars as well.

38) "Good night! We’re going home with Jodie Foster!”

Your move, Oscars.

Everything is GOLDEN GLOBES and Nothing Hurts

except maybe the lack of Ryan Gosling and his dapper suits :(

This is a special edition of mid-week Thoughts post, just for my new favourite Awards show- The Golden Globes.

1) So I wake up at 4:45 am to see if it is coming on the telly. It is not.
2) Usually I wake up earlier to see the red carpet, but I didn't because there are guests in my house and my alarm is super annoying.
3) I really liked what Charlize Theron and Tilda Swinton were wearing.
4) Anyways, after around half an hour of frantic and curses/whining- filled live stream search, as soon as I gave up all hope, I found a nice live stream. As a result I missed Best Supporting Actor and Miss Globes. The former was Christopher Plummer, which even though I was supporting Albert Brooks, is nice. I mean it's an adorable old man playing and adorable old gay man. Miss Globes is Andie MacDowell's daughter.
5) I just have a feeling that one of these days I'll get up and Suri Cruise will be Miss Globes. Okay not really.
6) This is when everything gets mixed in my head- I saw Sherlock's season finale after that okay. That show... :'(
7) Ricky Gervais was not all that bad this year, was he? I didn't think so. And I think this time the presenters were armed with comebacks.
8) So anyways, Globes made me happy because- Woody won! Scorsese won! Tintin > Rango!
9) George Clooney was so much fun- that cane :D
10) Also his jokes about Fassy's massive um... golf club was hilarious (I don't think we've heard the last of this) and made even more awesomer by shark teeth.
11) I was really happy that A Separation won also, though man did those people look bored! It was one of the moments when the stream froze so I didn't hear everything. Same thing happened with Jean Dujardin.
12) Speaking of, he reminds me of a European Don Draper. The Artist won loads of stuff, and so did The Descendants. So I suppose these two are the big contenders this year.
13) I like how much people just enjoy the Golden Globes, and that's exactly the kind of awards they give. Screw the pretentious! Maybe it's my Bollywood-ness seeping through, but I like that Madonna got an award, and that royalty is always served first- for example Queen Meryl and next-in-line Kate Winslet.
14) Streep totally butchered Mia Wasikowska's name, didn't she? But atleast she mentioned her. She's the ruler of us all! Also Michel Hazanavicius has a pretty cumbersome name.
15) Glenn Close didn't win anything for that Albert Nobbs. Hehehehe. Janet McTeer is really pretty in real life.
16) War Horse didn't win anything either. Hehehehehehehehe. Why did Michele Pfeiffer have to present that? LAME.
17) Morgan Freeman IS God. That was sweet. Elton John was so distracting for everybody.
18) I hated Paula Patton. Even the darling Melissa McCarthy looked positively pissed at her over-excited act.
19) So Octavia Spencer is a lock? Or will the Chastain Express come in her way?
20) Idris Elba looks so much sexier with a beard. I saw one episode of Luther on a flight, and I sort of liked it.
21) Reese Witherspoon was such a pageant contestant. I really liked Michelle Williams's speech.
22) Seth Rogen was funny. Kate Beckinsale's woodenness was no match for him. JGL's bow tie was adorkable.
23) Modern Family won! Woo hoo! That's about all I know from the television categories.
24) My favourite award was Woody Allen winning for Best Screenplay. I'm clueless- does Woody come to award shows? Hasn't he gotten those lifetime achievement awards already? If no, isn't it about time?
25) If they put musical numbers in this, it will most definitely become a Bollywood award show. Obviously they are never live, and this whole live streaming thing wouldn't be that big a hassle.
26) My biggest complaint obviously was that there weren't any Harry Potter people, except for Bill Nighy, Helen McCrory and Kenneth Branagh and I think someone else though my mind is going blank. REPRESENT!
27) Then again I didn't see any Twilight people either, so it's a minor save.
28) They should nominate Sherlock. Please. Anyways next year The Hobbit is bagging everything. Martin Freeman, my love.
29) Seeing Rooney Mara just sitting there, I realise one thing that The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo's promotional team lacks is the charm and goofiness of Jesse Eisenberg, Andrew Garfield and Armie Hammer. They made last year's award season so much fun.
30) Ryan :'(

Thoughts

Yaay January is upon us! This is the first Thoughts post of the new year, and my thoughts are thus:


1) First of all, I made a Facebook page for this blog. It was something made out of curiosity. The app for it is on the side of this page. Please like it if you want to :)


2) So Golden Globes is round the corner. Honestly the biggest reason I'm waiting for this is to see Ryan Gosling in a suit. But they are fun, as one expects them to be. They are doing their job, unlike the BAFTAs. That treacherous awards show- WHY IS HARRY POTTER SHORTLISTED FOR ONLY 3 CATEGORIES?! AND NOT EVEN FOR BEST PICTURE! It only just employed the majority of the British film industry for the last 10 years or so!!!!!!! So what if they gave a special contribution award last year. They should also consider it in the best picture race. If they don't consider it the best, how will they ever hope for it to get any recognition elsewhere?! I mean GO PEOPLE'S CHOICE AWARDS!! I am proud of the people, yes I am! Also Daniel Radcliffe said that he would be bummed if Alan Rickman doesn't even get nominated. He's Harry Potter- Listen To Him! And I swear if they do not get the Harry Potter people to present in the Oscars this year, the AMPAS will get hate mail every week for the rest of my life. Everyone from Twilight has presented, including Taylor Lautner (I'm sorry but I just do not understand how he gets to act in movies). And Miley Cyrus. And Katherine Heigl. 


3) But on the bright side, an Indian film- Dhobi Ghat (which I haven't seen yet but really do want to see as it's an Aamir Khan production) is short-listed in the non-English film category. Obviously A Separation should win this without a glitch, but it is nice to see that an Indian film at least stood a chance at some point.


4) I was randomly watching the 79th Academy Awards today on Youtube. I really liked Ellen Degeneres as the host- I hope she comes back some day. Also, this was the year Gosling got nominated, so I was happy to see him. Plus The Devil Wears Prada brilliance.


5) Trailers: Silent House starring Elizabeth Olsen. It's a horror film set in real time. I don't think I have ever seen a real time film so this does look interesting, though I would like to see her do something a little different from the paranoia thing in the future. Friends with Kids, in which four of the cast members are from Bridesmaids, and the two that aren't are the protagonists. I'm only watching this for Chris O' Dowd and Jon Hamm (did I mention I started Mad Men this week?- He's too good-looking to be true). This trailer probably came out a while back but I have somehow ignored all news about this film- The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel. I saw the Top Gear India special, and it is really hilarious to see the modern outlook of Brits towards India. I quite love the cast, especially Judy Dench, Maggie Smith and Bill Nighy, and it will be interesting. I like how other countries always look more colourful, though India really is very very orange. The last trailer is the most amazing thing ever that just released and I had almost published this post without it- Wes Anderson's Moonrise Kingdom. Oh the happiness and quirkiness and epicness of Wes Anderson films! Cannot wait for this!! Finally, the studios have released the opening sequence of The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo. It's magnificent; I nearly cried out of joy, love, awesomeness and anticipation. It is very Bond-esque, but in a much more darker, visceral, black way. It's probably banned in UAE, so I do not know when I will get to see it. Curses.


6) Awards talk: Continuing from above, Dragon Tattoo has been nominated for the PGA, DGA and WGA. I did not expect this. The reviews have not been that amazing, and though I'm pretty sure I will love it, I didn't think it will become such a critical darling out of nowhere. This is what I think happened- everyone just woke up from the nightmare that they have given The King's Speech all the awards over The Social Network, only to realise that they really had done so in some drunken stupour, and are now trying to make amends with Dragon Tattoo. Such madness! Also, the "award worthy" films that I have seen in the last two weeks are- first, Midnight in Paris, which was how I started 2012. As I said I was watching the Oscars, and this was when Scorsese finally won for The Departed- wouldn't it be great if Woody Allen gets recognised like this also? People forget because of his film making-speed that it has been a while for him since he has won any awards. I am harbouring hope for the Best Original Screenplay category. I saw Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, part 2. I will speak about this on a separate post, though you have gotten a preview above. Then there was Young Adult- I really loved Charlize Theron in it, and even though I haven't seen My Week with Marilyn yet, I am wishing that she bags the Best Actress Comedy in the Globes. Mavis Gary is my new role model. Patton Oswalt was adorable, but Rickman > Oswalt. Tinker Taylor Soldier Spy, for which Gary Oldman must get nominated at least. It's masterful acting that he does here- so reserved, so internalised, but so very excellent too. Added to this, I think Art Direction is fantastic, and so is Sound Mixing/Editing (I forget the difference). Carnage, which everyone forgot about but the Globes (point for Globes!). I had a lot of fun watching it. I don't think I was really that drawn to any of the performances individually except that of Christoph Waltz's, but that's mostly because his character was so delicious, but collectively it was a very enjoyable film. Lastly I saw War Horse. I did not like it- wayyy too much cheese on my plate if you know what I mean. I do not want it to get nominated for anything- more on this later on as well. Also, Jeremy Irvine is adorable and I hate the lack of info on him on the usually omniscient (or atleast that's what I think) internet . Plus, I could not stop giggling in, and after, the Tom Hiddleston scenes- he was the exact image of my gorgeous-and-earnest-soldier-man fantasy. I hope he wins the presently misogynistic Orange Rising Star award in BAFTAs.


7) Finally- since I spoke of BAFTAs so much, and the next (and last *sniff*) episode of this season of Sherlock comes out this week, and I'm still Mrs. Dent Watson Baggins Freeman, I present to you my Fake Husband Prime-

'Nuff said.

Toodles!

I'm sorry Globes...

but the Driver is not impressed-

 It would have been the perfect ending to the Year of the Gos, but alas both of Ryan Gosling's other performances from this year have gotten nominations and this beautiful silent visceral one, which is not only his best this year but probably of his entire career thus far, got snubbed.

Well atleast he'll look super faiiinnnneee in one of his sexy suits on Jan 15th, 2012. You lose some, you get some I suppose.