Saturday, 30 June 2012

The Amazing Spider-Man. NOT.

          If you ever see my face at the beginning of a movie in a cinema hall, I have a huge smile because I am genuinely excited for what I am about to see. I was like that when The Amazing Spider-Man started, but by the time it was over, I literally sprinted out of the hall. What changed you may ask? Well the movie kind of sucked pretty bad...


*SLIGHT SPOILERS*


            The Amazing Spider-Man tries to look into the origins of how Peter Parker came to be. Abandoned by his parents as a little boy, Peter grows up under the watchful and caring eyes of his Uncle Ben and Aunt May. But when he accidentally finds some clues to why his parents disappeared, they lead him to the amputee scientist Dr. Curt Connors. While trying to figure all of this out, he gets bitten by a radioactive spider from Connors lab and gets special abilities. In between finding out who he is and what he can do with his new powers, Peter also has his long-time crush Gwen Stacy, and her police captain father, to worry about. And when something drastic happens to Connors that endangers the lives of everyone, he has to save the day.


              So first of all, let me make it very clear- this whole different origin story is, in the words of Dr. Sheldon Cooper, poppycock. It sure starts off that way, but all that gets brushed aside once Peter gets his spidey powers and then we are basically watching a second-hand copy of Sam Raimi's Spider-Man. One thing that The Amazing Spider-Man succeeded in doing for me was to truly appreciate the Sam Raimi trilogy, because this whole reboot was the most unnecessary thing to come out since the Conan the Barbarian remake (I haven't actually seen it or the original, but I cannot imagine people thinking otherwise). 




             The story does begin in a more secretive, mysterious way. Until the part Peter gets his powers, it is quite an entertaining and different film. One of the more ingenious sequences in the movie is Peter coming to terms with his powers. It is funny and also sort of surreal and cool. From there on though, it just goes downhill. Plot-lines get introduced and abandoned just as quickly, like what really happened to Peter's parents or the elusive Norman Osborn with his illness. There is no build-up of any kind and things just seem to happen. Of course the whole story is exactly like what we saw in Spider-Man. The dialogue is okay-ish. There are a few humorous lines and comebacks, but none which reach the sort of iconic level that big budget superhero action movies are expected to have. No "spidey senses" tingled and even this film's version of "with great power comes great responsibility" was too long to remember.


               Obviously the story suffers because nearly all of us have seen the Sam Raimi version from only ten years ago. It is a bit of a double whammy because I hated feeling like I was watching a copy, but then it wasn't even copied properly, which infuriated me even more. Like when Peter takes Gwen swinging around the city, they don't focus on them, or what comes after. Or when Connors is shown having his evil sub-conscious talk loudly to him, which was exactly what happened with Osborn in Spider-Man, but it isn't as eerie.




                 Another huge misstep for me was the way the film was made. Marc Webb, the director, has only made one feature film before this, and that was the romcom (500) Days of Summer. Apart from maybe his surname, I don't know what qualified him to make this film. There are like textbook action stuff that this film completely overlooks. For instance, when Connors has transformed into Lizard for the first time, there isn't that big revelatory moment that is so obvious when it comes to a character like this. The film jumps around and never focuses where it needs to focus. It completely fails to find the balance between action, romance and humour. Thinking back right now, I don't understand how it was two hours and fifteen minutes long since nothing was given enough time, but then again, sitting in the audience at the time, the film seemed to go on and on for me.  Most of the effects were really gimicky, especially the POV shots. Even the lizards looked fake, which was weird. The big crisis that happens at the end of such movies never really felt like one because hardly anyone seems to be affected. Even the "cool" sequences were "lame" because the film did not know how to set them up properly and what to do with them after. Cars were left dangling on bridges and schools were attacked out of nowhere and cranes were aligned and whatnot. I honestly feel that Michael Bay could have done a better job, because say what you want about him, the man knows how to construct an action scene.


           The biggest drawback is what this film did with its cast. First of all, Andrew Garfield is too good-looking to be Peter Parker. I do really love his love for the character and he does a more than decent job of playing him, but I just could not believe for a second that this wasn't a guy everyone was in love with. When he's Peter Parker, he's absolutely cool and adorable at the same time and when he's Spider-man, well, the costume um, compliments him perfectly :P I would actually count this as a plus in the sense that if not for anything, girls can watch this film to gush over his perfect looks. But then you take things into perspective, and a guy like that can never be an unpopular geek. Tobey Maguire is normal-looking, so this was very believable when he payed the part. Garfield on the other hand, is gorgeous and fine. Hell even the bully Flash looked like he was in love with him!




             And then we come to Emma Stone as Gwen Stacy- oh cruel wasted potential! My biggest problem with the Sam Raimi films was the over-emphasis on the v.v.v. annoying Mary Jane Watson. This film barely notices Gwen Stacy. Which is a shame because every second she is in the shot, the screen lights up. Her character, unfortunately, isn't allowed to flesh out at all. There is a scene with Gwen and her dad talking in their hallway about cocoa, and it is the quintessential Emma Stone humour that can make any film that much more entertaining, and that is all there is of it! I mean it is even worse that they give us this little taste of what could have been and then take it away, rather than just nothing all the way. This whole film is actually full of little tasters such as these, and nothing more! Gahhh.


             The chemistry between Garfield and Stone was superb. They are so cute together that you almost want to forgive the entire movie because it led these two perfect specimens to each other. But again, I hated the way their love story is handled because I could not digest that their two characters would end up caring about each other so much over so little time. Also their first kiss is so Bollywood, I audibly groaned with disgust when it happened.




              The villain, Dr. Connors aka Lizard, is played by Welsh actor Rhys Ifans. I did not like this villain at all. First of all, he did not feel as dangerous as the others. Secondly, I hate lizards and the whole concept gives me the creeps. Thirdly, he looks terrible. I love Ifans, but his transformation from honest scientist and pioneer to a gutter-loving ego-maniacal reptile-thing-person was not that impressive and kind of random. The action scenes between him and Spider-man are not remotely enthralling or something that takes your breath away. Then again, nothing in this film does that, but Ifans with his timing was bound to be more interesting. He just didn't invoke the kind of fear and awe that a supervillain should; just a weird need to want to bathe yourself because all of it is so icky.


              My absolutely favourite thing about The Amazing Spider-Man was Dennis Leary as Captain Stacy. He was snappy and funny and sincere. He stole the scene every time he was there because he was just such a fantastic character, and Leary played him with so much wit and honesty. He was a no-nonsense man in a stupid nonsense movie. Martin Sheen as Uncle Ben, Sally Field as Aunt May and Irrfan Khan as Rajit Ratha/ that-shady-Indian-businessman-dude were all okay.




               Other things were also disappointing. There were things from the trailers that were missing. I had expected at least the soundtrack to be good, seeing how (500) Days has an excellent tracklist, but apart from a very Footloose-esque sequence of Peter skateboarding and and discovering his powers, there was zilch. As my friend pointed out, even Twilight has an adequate soundtrack. One huge plus to the movie however, was the anticipated Stan Lee cameo that may just be his best one ever.


             After mouthing-off about this film the entire day, I feel that I might have been too harsh about it. But honestly, just thinking about it right now is making me angry. No, I did not expect The Amazing Spider-Man to be "amazing" or well, The Avengers, but I thought it will be okay enough to let it pass by. Instead I got a headache watching this totally unnecessary reboot of what I now know to be a very good set of movies. It is evident that there will be a sequel because helloo?, Hollywood is cuckoo, and also since there was some extra scene at the end of the credits that I missed because I had to get out of the hall to let all the steam escape from my ears. I just hope that the studios learn from their mistakes and get a proper director who can exploit the immeasurable talents of Garfield and Stone and get an actual supervillain.


            Watch it if you must. You may like it and then tell me all about it. Or you may hate it and I'll get to tell you "I told you so". Eitherways, The Amazing Spider-Man was a terrible movie that even my fake-husband Andrew Garfield and my fake-bff Emma Stone could not save for me. Now that is depressing.



Friday, 29 June 2012

Thoughts

1) First of all- Congrats to everyone who won at Lammy this year, and all those who were nominated too. You guys are awesome :D


2) Mia Wasikowska, Zoe Aggeliki and Jena Malone are being considered for the part of Johanna MAson in the Catching Fire movie. The first two are very young in my opinion, since Johanna looks 30 in the book. Malone is an interesting choice and I can definitely see her doing something with a role like this. Obviously the biggest casting choice we are all waiting for is Finnick Odair's (one Armie Hammer please).


3) After listening to the Matineecast this week, I have decided to go on an Animation Month Marathon. I have made a list of 40 films. The films are Disney, anime, Pixar and some other films that I haven't seen yet and want to watch. This is sort of the perfect timing because August is when I turn into an adult/ a pumpkin/ 20, and I just need to embrace the inner child right now. I had originally planned to only watch cartoon films all of this month as an experiment, but I need a bit of variety and I'm already hungry for something non-Disney-like, so I'll watch random live-action stuff here and there. I really hope I can finish this in time :/


4) The world's fascination and disgust at Fifty Shades of Grey continues to grow, and I find it really hilarious now. There was this whole article on the newspaper about this here, and I really loved the way it ended- "...And what is shameful about Fifty Shades of Grey isn't the submissive sex, it's the Cinderella story.... It didn't take much for an erotic e-book to catch fire. A glimpse of stocking can still be shocking when it's used to bind a woman's wrist; it's irresistable when a handsom billionaire is tying the knot." 
It's kind of cheeky I think :P I love how people are making up dream casts for the film here, seeing that it will NEVER EVER EVER EVER EVER release in India. Also Gilbert Gottfried reading it is the most hilarious thing ever!


5) Trailers- Yeah I haven't really been that enthused about watching trailers this week. Robot and Frank looks kind of sweet. I quite like the cast, especially Susan Srandon and Frank Langella. Total Recall which again looks cool, but mehh. The American Sherlock Holmes series Elementary has a trailer out. I am sorry but Benedict Cumberbatch and Martin Freeman are looking at this and probably thinking "poor sods", although I do like the idea of a female Dr. Watson, and the actual possibility of all that sexual tension being realeased in a foreseeable way.


6) Finally, this is actually cool-
With all this talk about Prometheus and Alien, we look at who was underneath the monstrous black mask in Ridley Scott's 1979 sci-fi horror classic. Bolanji Badejo, a 7ft tall Nigerian design student picked up from a bar in West London to fill the title role. He worked on the film for 4 months. Spending every day wrapped in a suffocating custom fitted rubber suit, working to exude a presence of pure evil.
Despite his incredible contribution to the film’s success Badejo never received any publicity for his involvement. Ultimately, it would be his only film role.

Bye :)

Wednesday, 27 June 2012

"I'll have what she's having."


Also, this:

"I love that you get cold when it's 71 degrees out.
I love that it takes you an hour and a half to order a sandwich.
I love that you get a little crinkle above your nose when you're looking at me like I'm nuts.
I love that after I spend the day with you, I can still smell your perfume on my clothes.
And I love that you are the last person I want to talk to before I go to sleep at night.
And it's not because I'm lonely, and it's not because it's New Year's Eve.
I came here tonight because when you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody,
You want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible.
"


         I regularly talk about my love for romcoms, and how they can actually be intelligent and funny and realistic, while still maintaining their almost fairytale-like idea. I mean I saw Sleeping Beauty yesterday and well, pretty much hated it. I actually had to google the message of the story, and that apparently was "dreaming of and believing in your true love". So this got me thinking about the whole concept of "true love" and how this inane story had to be woven around it to make people understand the importance of it. It seemed almost ridiculous because ever since we are born, we are told of this because it's such an obvious thing that everyone believes will happen to all of us! But maybe, just maybe, it isn't so... And when it does happen to someone, it is actually as magical as these fables of fairies and witches and kisses.

          Romantic comedies, at their core, cherish this idea. Having just watched When Harry Met Sally, it is full of random scenes of couples sitting together and talking about how they met and how they've been married for so many many years. These people, they found this fairytale ending to their life, and it is believable, and it is something we can adore and aspire for.

          Also the humour. The best example is the video given above. I like laughing and feeling happy during a movie. I even watched this film after one of the saddest days of my life, when my grandfather had passed away and I just needed to be cheered up. No it did not help me overcome my grief, but for a few of those moments, I needed to be swept away in a world without mourning and death and something like "baby fish-mouth" seemed to do the trick.

          Nora Ephron (1941-2012) wrote When Harry Met Sally. She had written and directed many other features, but this was always the one closest to my heart. It is as perfect a romantic comedy as they come. The characters are funny and sad and sweet, and someone you can (theoretically and hopefully) meet walking down a street. The dialogue is brilliant, like the little excerpt above. And it embraces the fairytale ending in a very real world of relationships. Nora Ephron was able to capture all that in this incredible script, due to which we have such an iconic and happy film. It is often so much more attractive to write something cynical or depressing, or fall into the trap of the film actually being silly instead of happy. This film is neither.

           Ephron, like the character of Sally with her specific food instructions, knew how the elements of a story work together to make it a lovely and unforgettable experience. When Harry Met Sally is but an example of her talent. While I haven't seen her dramatic stuff, her romances and comedies always brought a big smile to my face.

          It is sad when someone like that passes along, and we can't help but go over their life's work and be impressed and inspired by it.



RIP NORA EPHRON 
You will be sorely missed.

Monday, 25 June 2012

MY FAVOURITE FEMALE PIXAR CHARACTERS

          Disney Pixar's Brave marked a new era for Pixar movies by being the first one with a female protagonist. But this isn't the first time that a Pixar movie has had fascinating, and frankly brilliant female characters. I saw this list done by someone else and I just needed to do one with my choices.


Honourable mentions: Princess Atta from A Bug's Life, Roz from Monsters Inc., Helen/Elastigirl from The Incredibles and Sally from Cars.



10) Elinor from Brave
This is perhaps the biggest surprise in the list, but I loved Queen Elinor so much. She is strong and kind and loving and a great mother. My favourite scene of hers was when she just walks down a huge room full of brawling Scots and everyone just stops fighting. She is one no-nonsense lady.



9) Jessie from Toy Story 2 and 3
Jessie is a perfect example how Pixar manages to marry joy and sorrow perfectly in their movies and their characters. She is spirited and funny, but in Toy Story 2, we see her backstory and see where she comes from. She is a great addition in the toy gang. Also her scenes with Buzz are just adorable.


8) Ellie from Up
Okay so she's only in like the first 10 minutes of the movie, but we feel her presence throughout. I think Ellie is like the idea of a perfect soulmate. Her relationship with Carl is just beautiful, and her "great adventure" as revealed towards the end of the film is heartbreaking and lovely.


7) Colette from Ratatouille
Chef Colette is a total badass! A woman trying to make her way in the world of men, and she will not stop at nothing. Though she seems scary at first, we see that she is a really nice person and just wants to be appreciated. She is a sensible and smart modern woman.



6) Violet from The Incredibles
I connected with her the most in this film. Shy at first, Violet comes on her own during the course of the film and becomes a super duper young woman by the end of it. I think she's a great role model for young girls.


5) Eve from Wall-E
Wall-E's robotic and cool love interest is actually really cute. Her anger, her power, her love, her concern for Wall-E, everything! She's the great love in the epic life story of Wall-E, and we can't help but love her too.


4) Edna Mode from The Incredibles
Oh she is so friggin' awesome!! "No capes!" She is the Miranda Priestly of the animated world and I want to be her so bad.



3) Boo from Monsters Inc.
Dawwww. I love Boo. I love that big furry monsters are scared of her at first and then love her towards the end. I love the way she laughs. I love love love the way she says "Mike Wazowski!!!!" Pixar has a fantastic record of children in its movies, and Boo is maybe the greatest, and certainly the cutest, of them all.


2) Merida from Brave
That marvelous, gorgeous, odes-inducing hair aside, Merida is a totally incredible character. Free-spirited and feisty, she just wants to live normally and be the person she is, and not what others want her to be. Still she makes mistakes and learns from them. A truly excellent role models for girls, and for film makers because this is exactly how a female protagonist should be like.


1) Dori from Finding Nemo
She is perhaps one of the greatest characters ever, animated or not, brought to life by the superb voice work of Ellen DeGeneres. Not only is she hilarious with her short-term memory ailment (I swear I have regular bouts of that), she is an amazing friend and companion. I mean Finding Nemo is sort of like a road movie underwater, and Marty the clownfish could not have found anyone better to share his journey and search with. She's friendly and helpful and does not have one bad bone in her body, and that is completely believable because she's such a clueless riot too :)


Hope you enjoyed this. GO PIXAR!!

Sunday, 24 June 2012

"I'm a delusion angel. I'm a fantasy parade."


I absolutely adore this scene. Before Sunrise is a fairy tale-like movie because of the very very very high improbability of something like this happening to someone. Recently I read somewhere that "man can believe the impossible but never the improbable". Still the sweetness and the chemistry and just everything between the leads entices us to wish and wish and wish for something like this to happen.


Of all the modern fairy tale elements in the film, the most ethereally romance-y is when this street poet, with his raggedy clothes and cigarettes, sitting at the side of the Danube, offers to write a poem for our protagonists Jesse and Celine around a word they give him, the word being "milkshake". He comes up with this totally beautiful poem which, like many other instances in the movie, fits in with the situation of our young lovers perfectly. 


I have always had a thing for him. From the very first time I saw Before Sunrise. He's so otherworldly and amazing and pathetic, but in a complete romantic sense. It's like he isn't real. He only appears to lovers when they need him, though they don't know it, and maybe the lines in the title of this post are what describes him. He's like a god of love, asking the obvious question to two such people- "Don't you know me? Don't you know me by now?"


I guess I am, paraphrasing something that Jesse says in the movie, just projecting my own romantic ideals on a bum and possible alcoholic, but such is the power of a movie like this. Gah it's so flawless...

"If you had a chance to change your fate, would you?"

         One of my dream wacky jobs is to wait tables at the cafeterias of Pixar since I'm not actually smart enough to "work" work there, but I'll get to be around pure geniuses and I'm also pretty convinced that I'll get to wear Pixar character costumes as part of my job. So from this one can deduce the following- 1) that I am, in fact, a crazy person, 2) that film and television has romanticized waitresses wayy too much, and finally and most importantly 3) that I love Pixar to death.


         I have watched all the Pixar movies except Cars 2, because I don't want to ruin my perfect idea of Pixar. Okay I did fall asleep while watching Cars, but still. The other ten films have been amazing. Yes, some more than others, but all are brilliant and heartfelt in their own ways. So ever since the first news about their new film, Brave, was released, I have been going nuts with excitement. I finally saw it yesterday, first day first show, and have been pleasantly rewarded.




           Brave is about a free-spirited and tomboy-ish Scottish princess, Merida, who wants desperately to change her destiny of being a well-mannered and lady-like queen, like her mother Elinor. When suitors from the various clans come for her hand in marriage, Merida defies all the traditions and takes drastic steps to so that she can change the mind of her mother, but something goes terribly wrong and it's up to Merida to save her family, and the day.


           Now this synopsis is based on all the trailers so far. In the movie, the relationship between Merida and Elinor plays a huge role, but I don't want to ruin anything. Pixar has its own brand of the unexpected and new. While the whole tomboy rebellious princess thing isn't very novel, the way the movie handles it was. I truly feel that in terms of heart, Pixar movies are second to none, and Brave taps into this wonderfully complex and dynamic and beautiful bond between a mother and daughter and circles everything around it. Like when everyone kept comparing this to a Dreamworks animated feature, the film nerd in me wanted to clarify that the core difference between it and a Pixar feature is that the former is about great, magical adventures and the latter is about finding the extraordinary in the ordinary, and Brave will be no different. I was wrong. Brave is an adventure story- yes; it is about something relatively common like the relationship between a mother and her child- yes, but then that isn't something ordinary. It is among the most incredible things in the world! The fact that it takes something as extraordinary as that, and then makes the film about it, and not just rebelling and fighting and kilts and magic- that is why it wins for me. True it isn't as original as Ratatouille or Finding Nemo, or as impactful as Toy Story 3, but heart is heart, and Brave has loads of it. And I loved it for it.




            Speaking of love, Merida is the red-haired queen of my heart. I have been going crazy about her ever since the first concept art pictures were released. Her hair is a work of art. I recently wrote about the critical eye versus eye candy, and god, I love this film for her hair alone! But then again, she is super awesome even without it. I have written about my Disney-loving best friend many times on this blog, and she had a whole argument with me about how Merida isn't a Disney princess. My best friend is right- Merida is not one because she doesn't sing and doesn't have a prince, but who cares?! She is perfect the way she is. She is exquisite and feisty and funny and caring and independent. Right from the beginning her curiosity and joy entices us to fall in love with her, and as we see her grow up and be rebellious and make mistakes, but then change too, we are very much with her till the end. And beyond. Princes Merida is already a legend, being the first female protagonist in a Pixar film ever. Also as luck would have it, this is the year of Katniss Everdeen as well, and between the two of them, we have the beginnings of a new era of female heroes. Kelly Macdonald did a fantastic job of voicing Merida.


          I loved everyone else too. Emma Thompson voiced Queen Elinor, and she was at the other end of the spectrum of strong women. I mean yes she isn't adept with bows and arrows, but she is one respected and fierce lady. Billy Connoly was King Fergus and he was very funny, especially when he mimics Merida. Kevin McKidd, Robbie Coltrane and Craig Ferguson (!) voiced the various clan leaders, who were hilarious. Julie Walters voiced the Witch. My absolute favourites were Merida's three younger brothers Harris, Hubert and Hamish, who were just adorable.




          The story was by Brenda Chapman, who was also the co-director, along with Mark Andrews. She's the first woman director in Pixar's history so far, and she did an splendid job. The film looked absolutely gorgeous. The Scottish backdrop was rich with colour and details, everything brought more to life by Merida's hair (I'm sorry- I can't stop gushing about it!). The music was superb- very Celtic and appropriate. It just added so much to the feel of a film like this. The film was also really humorous, thanks to the mostly brilliant gags of the genius triplets.


          If I had to talk about any flaws, it would be the decision of showing the totally stunning La Luna before the movie, because that just drips with pure Pixar magic! I mean I was in tears before Brave even started. Brave is definitely less brilliant, but with a fiery-haired and fiery-hearted heroine for the ages and an excellent emotional story, it is definitely a return to form for Pixar and a really lovely experience.


          Go watch it :D